To not let dd go to a birthday party, as a punishment?

[IloveChristmasandsodoesmydog]

Feel really mean but she's been very naughty and in the heat of it I've told her she can't go. She's six.

Basically she's taken a pair of scissors to her little sister and hacked off half her hair. Dd2 had beautiful hair and now she looks as though she's been scalped. She really does look awful. The only way you could hide it would be to give her a number two all over.

I told her that as a punishment she can't go to her classmates birthday party tomorrow. I don't think she believed me so there will be an almighty tantrum tomorrow if she doesn't go.

I could probably explain why I might let her go, if I have to. If its really unfair to not let her go then I will think of some way to let her go. Perhaps find a more suitable punishment or something. But should I keep her at home? Is it a suitable punishment or AIBU?

You've all been very kind and helpful. I thought I'd get absolutely flamed for overreacting and being so mean. To the posters who think I am being mean, yes I agree with you. But hopefully she might actually understand this time.

I think the punishment fits the crime. It's not ott like if it was a spilt drink or something like that. At 6 I assume she knew she was doing wrong by cutting her sisters hair. If you back down now she'll feel it was ok. Hard lesson and tough on you to carry through as we want them to have fun and be happy but if she doesn't go to the party she will know her actions lead to consequences. Good luck and hope your little one looks good in hats! X

I take it the party has been and gone now, so did you hold strong and make her miss it?

I'll just add to all of this that I once had a child miss DS's party as a punishment for being naughty, imposed by her dad.

I was really pissed off as it was a small party - only DS, DD and four other children including this girl. It was the first of DS's parties she'd been able to come to as previous years their parties had been on the same day. They even got to the venue but the child had been playing up and the dad had threatened missing the party, then had to follow through with it. I had weeks of 'Why didn't X come to my party?' and got more and more fed up with the dad when I had to keep explaining that her dad wouldn't let her come because she was naughty. By the way, this was for DS's 4th birthday.

However, in your case not only would I not be mad at you, I'd back you up by telling my child why yours had to miss it, so that if my child was disappointed by your child's absence she could hassle your child direct and lay the blame right where it belongs. But then I can be a bit mean sometimes.

What happened OP?

Oh bless you for asking.

I rang the other girls mum and explained exactly what had happened and apologised profusely. She was lovely and said it was absolutely fine and not to worry. She even sent a party bag back with a friend of mine.

Dd1 realised what was going in when she heard the phone call. There were a few tears and asking if she could go. Dh and I sat down and explained to her that she couldn't go because of what she'd done and were gentle but firm and amazingly she seemed to accept it. I was fully expecting a tantrum and bless her, it didn't come. So perhaps there is a modicum of maturity coming through after all!

I also asked her if it would be alright if we cut her hair to match and she was horrified. So I asked why she thought it was alright to do it to her little sister. She did look a bit sorrowful.

Really hope that's a lesson learned.

I hope so too OP. Hope this is the last of her going scissor happy!

Little bugger! That's going to make for some memorable christmas photos!!

Hopefully she has learnt two lessons here - Don't cut hair AND Mummy means what she says!

6 is plenty old enough to know better.

I stopped my daughter going to a party too as a punishment. What made it worse was the fact that her brother had been invited too. So she had to come with me when I took him to the party. Boy did she throw a wobbly. But you have to do these things sometimes, no good threatening to do something and not doing it. If you warn them first then its reasonable i think.

Oh well done OP. Being firm can be so hard sometimes but pays off in the end. Very well done.

Give the party bag to your dd2.

Congratulations on standing firm & it does sound your daughter understands why she wasn't allowed to go.
Does a career in hairdressing beckon?

Why do you feel mean? She's done something really really naughty and deserves to be punished.