To be fucked off with dentists in general and my surgery in particular?

[FreddieMercuryforQueen]

I will start by saying I'm completely prepared to be told IABU however I've just finished a busy nightshift and am feeling particularly ranty.

I had an appt at 9am this morning for a scrape and polish which I have done with local anaesthetic as I have a ridiculously low pain threshold where my mouth is concerned (can chuck a baby out my fanjo no problems so am not a complete wimp!), I finish work at 8am and my surgery is less than 8 miles door to door from work. Except I don't get out of work at 8am, I get out at 0825 and hit the morning traffic, so I ring the dentists, explain that I will be late apologise, say I will be there by 0915 at the very latest. Profusely apologise again and explain why, I should add I don't have the kind of job where I can down tools and walk out at clicking off time. The receptionist says she would inform the dentist and see me when I got there. I arrived at 0910 and check my phone to see a missed call and message from the surgery telling me not to bother coming in as they wouldn't see me. As I was already there I went in, mildly fucked off but accepting that my being late would muck their whole day up and asked to rearrange.

The receptionist went to see the dentist and returned saying they would not reschedule my appointment as I had cancelled two appointments at short notice previously. I am a very nervous customer having had bad dental experiences previously and I have cancelled appointments in the past as have been too terrified to go and been unable to psyche my self up, but always contacted them so they could fill the appointment slot and never just DNA'd. So I've been kicked off the surgeries books and no longer have a dentist. I should point out I have also attended several appointments and its not like I cancel every time.

So anyway AIBU to be annoyed at being kicked off the books for today's 'missed' appointment and also at dentists in general as I'm now going to struggle to find another nhs dentist with space and no doubt have to wait months to get months to get treatment.

Or am I being vvvu and just need to go to bed?

I think that being 10 minutes late for an appointment, having called to explain, is maybe enough for them to refuse to carry out your treatment today but removing you from their list seems a bit OTT.

Did they warn you after previous missed appointments though, because I can see from their POV that if they have an NHS waiting list they might think it's not fair to keep using appts on someone who doesn't turn up?

I can see both sides to be honest. Whilst I appreciate your fear of dentists, I'd imagine it would be too late for them to book someone else in when you cancel appointments. I recently had to wait 4 months to get an NHS dentist so know how valuable they are.

I don't think they Abu for not seeing you today. Maybe a little u for kicking you off list though.

I think YABU, sorry though

Hmmmmm. See - I completely sympathise with you. I've also missed appointments because I chickened out (and usually had to pay a charge). But I can also see the dentists point, to be honest. They can only allot a certain amount of time per patient, so if someone is late it makes every other appointment that day run late - and people complain about that.

So, sorry, you are being (understandably) a bit unreasonable.

Could you look for a dentist that specialises in phobic patients?

I think that's really harsh. Maybe they had some kind of marker on your file after you didn't turn up previously but there you were, in the flesh, having kept them informed that you were running unavoidably late etc. Seems to me like they'd already written you off and maybe thought you were making excuses again (in their eyes) but the decision to kick you out should have been revoked once you'd arrived and they could see you were genuine.

I think I'd write to the practice manager and complain if I were you. It's an unfortunate fact of life that some delays really are unavoidable and god knows, it works the other way round often enough ... I've waited more than an hour to see my dentist even though I had work, kids to collect and so on.

Meant to add ... fair enough if they couldn't see you today, but to throw you out is going too far I think.

YANBU, we have had some awful experiences with terrible dentists, who actually really messed up my dd's teeth. Ive found many of them unprofessional, uncaring, and not skillful. To chuck you off their books was out of order. Its not easy to find a new dentist I know, but do you really want to go there anyway?

I thi k it's pretty U to kick you off got being 10 mins late.

However I think you have been U to cancel other appointments at short notice.

If you want a dentist to pander to you, find a nice private dentist surgery and pay.

How much notice did you give them of cancelling the other appointments?

Sounds like you haven't clicked with your dentist. Why not find another surgery, they have less restrictions in terms of catchment areas and don't ask for previous records so you could start afresh. Perhaps look for one that specialises in nervous patients (mine are NHS and they are v. good with nervous types).

YABU. NHS appointments are like gold dust. Every failed appointment prevents access for someone who would actually attend. The dentist does not get paid if she's not working. Make your appointments at a time you can get there: that means taking account of traffic conditions. Or find a private dentist who will just charge you for their time whether you show up or not. Expect about £100 for a half hour missed appointment. Maybe you'd make more effort to get there then.

I always gave enough time for an appointment to be reused when cancelling other appointments, however I do accept (after some sleep) that IABU.

How do you know what long enough is?

How much notice did you give?

I can see your pov, but i can see theirs. and they are a business. That's 3 wasted appointments.

Unfortunately sometimes its easier nit to have some customers.

Sorry, I have a really bad phobia and I know how shit it is. But they need all their appointments to be used.

The day prior to the appointment, I assumed the appointments could be filled as generally you have to wait 6-8 weeks for an appointment so demand is obviously high.

Anyway I think more than anything it is the whole 'business' nature of dentists I don't like, I don't object to paying for a service but I don't think healthcare should be run as a profit making exercise, not at the expense of vulnerable patients.

Anyway. I think I might leave this dentist lark for a while.

I think they were a bit unreasonable to remove you from their books, but they were not BU to refuse to see you today. For all you know, the next patient may have been booked in for a long appointment. Also, it used to really annoy me when patients would turn up late as I'd then be running late all morning, which inevitably led to other patients complaining they were kept waiting, etc. YABU about not liking the 'business nature' of dentistry as well - you do realise that GP surgeries are run as a business too (just you don't have to pay up there and then like you do at the dentist). We are actually trying to earn a living, it isn't a charity.

The issue is that most people ring the dentist expecting to book in advance. A day may not always be enough.

I get your feelings about denists being profit making. But that's how gp surgeries work and the NHS.

YABU - dentists work for themselves so to speak. They are paid by the dental board for each piece of work they carry out so each time you cancel at short notice you cost them money.

No payment for the treatment they would have done plus dental nurses, overheads, receptionists still get paid whether you turn up or not.

dh has been refused to be seen for arriving 5 mins late. A late arrival for 9am would potentially throw the whole day out and given the extra time yours appointment would have been allocate difficult to reschedule. Are you sure you didn't misunderstand that they couldn't just see you today rather than ever ? Most do ask for a min 24-48 hours notice of cancellation, so you may well not have done that on the previous occasions. Ring them tomorrow and ask when they could see you next.

You could try a grovelling letter to the practice manager explaining you didn't realize your previous notices of cancellation hadn't been enough, you are very nervous, you really get on with the dentist etc etc (if you do), you realize this is a last chance.

If you didn't click with the dentist amazingly though, you lose nothing by finding another.

I work for NHS (not a dentist though) and I have pre-booked 20 minute appointments (which involve my patients removing some items of clothing- so not just getting straight into the chair)

I wish they were all as reasonable WRT to time -keeping!
In the past week, I've had 2 arrive 10+ minutes late with no apology (only an explanation that transport was the factor).

If I said "No I can't see you" (which is incidently our policy -we can refuse if 10 minutes late) I'd then have 10 minutes of argueing and the inevitable "Well I'm always kept waiting" retort.

Dentists now can remove patients because there is such a high demand for their appointments.
And the NHS is trying to run as a business (the <span class="italic">patients</span> are <span class="italic">customers</span> )

But, phoning to say you are running late <span class="italic">doesn't stop time</span>.
And from personal experience, if someone phones to say they will be 5 minutes late, IRL it will be 15 minutes.

Yes agreed, people often miss their whole appointment then shout at me because "they phoned and I should have seen the person after them first".

Except they didnt turn up 15 minutes early for their appointment did they!!

YABU and sound a bit arrogant, sorry

but i see you accepted you were BU so you have already redeemed yourself

Haha I didn't think I was being arrogant Fanjo but I see I have redeemed myself already! I totally understand how late people can wreck your day and I also 'get' that I couldn't be seen today, I suppose part of me wishes that where I work (part community midwife, part birthing unit) we could be as inflexible with appointments as we have a duty of care and have to see people no matter when they deign to arrive or at least rearrange ASAP, usually to our detriment. I'd love it if would just remove persistent dna'ers from our books. So I know IABU but I still wish it wasn't one rule for dentists, another for me in my line of work! It's that old 'why should I have to put up with it when they don't make any allowances for me' despite they and me working in completely different areas, so yes, completely unreasonable!

Aww I take it back. You sound lovely