To ask FIL not to do jobs in our house?

[HoratiaLovesBabyJesus]

Sometimes FIL and MIL look after our DCs in our house. We are probably up to half a dozen times, compared to the many times they have done so in their own house.

When they do so, FIL always without fail finds a job that needs doing but isn't remotely urgent and does it. We then get a lecture about not having done it ourselves.

I find this terribly rude. It isn't his house so it isn't his business. Jobs like brushing the patio do not affect the health or well-being of his grandsons, whereas ignoring them instead of playing with them just might.

WIBU to ask him not to do so, but to "relax and enjoy the DCs" or similar? Failing that, WIBU to pull out the old "Did you mean to be so rude?" if he does this once again?

I'm in the YANBU camp

It is fine if he wants to help but it is nothing but rude for him to nag and critisise you. Next time he does it return the favour when your in his house and see how well that goes down

Yep, I have one of those dads. This morning, he fixed my kitchen cupboard (the handle was wobbly apparently?!). I quite like it. Though, I think if he lectured afterwards like your FIL, I'd be pissed off too. Didn't have to do it, did he? DNBU.

I just let them get on with it! They used to stay in our house while we were away on holiday and we came back to everything done. Now that they are too elderly I miss it. They loved doing it. I can't see the harm. If you get the lecture just say 'we left it for you because we know you like doing it'!

He didn't do anything today that I have yet found.

More importantly, I relaxed and smiled and didn't let the fear of help spoil my time away.