agreed a £10 limit for kids presents and just opened about £200 worth

[littlemissmulledwine]

how would you feel?

we agreed a limit as moneys tight for both of us then ds (9month) presents arrive and open them to find over £200 worth.

i feel uncomfortable and have asked to return some as they have tags as we arent in a position to spend that much on their dd's

We spread pressies out- but never open anything unitll Christmas Day- it just means we are often still opening pressies on New years Day.

It makes no difference to a 9 mth old, but I would be a bit surprised if you thanked me for a Christmas present on the 18th of december!!

As for the limt, I would just make sure your dsis is aware of your gratitude, and then give your gift with a jokey ' we stuck to the limit though!!'

That's because it's not Christmas yet

OP I don't think there's anything particularly unreasonable about opening presents before Christmas, especially not for a 9 month old. Personally I would wait, but it doesn't seem like a big deal either way.

However, your sister's behaviour in buying all these presents is utterly bizarre. I can only think of two reasons for it- 1) she believes you are in serious financial trouble and is trying to help you out (hence buying you formula while suggesting you spend very little on her DC)

Or 2) she is deliberately trying to make you look mean and tight by spending so much more than you were expecting to. Does she have a spiteful streak? Does she know you're opening presents in advance or did she think they'd be opened on Christmas day with an audience of GPS?

Either way, I would call your sister and ask for an explanation, and then go from there. If I didn't need the nappies and formula etc I would ask her to return them.

What did you say to your sister when she handed over 16 gifts?

Thanks puzzled

were not flushed but equally not in trouble, we watch what we spend but i think everyone does. Have never needed any help with nappies/formula etc for ds as we budget for these things. We do think twice before going for a posh meal etc but i cant imagine many people with a 9 month old on maternity leave wouldnt

Shes in a similar financial position, i think they have more disposable income but not much more and they have 2 dd's where we just have ds.

After talking to my bro my gut feeling is that she just hasnt thought about what shes spent or how i might feel with sticking to the limit when she hasnt.

Shes is someone who really doesnt think about others, she wont be aware when she offends someone and this has caused alot of problems for her with friends/famliy in the past.

She says she cant exchange the items so maybe the comments about ebay etc are correct. Shes stopped replying to my emails now and wont answer her phone. Id like to suggest that we keep the presents as she has put thought into them but ask her not to buy ds a birthday present and when i see her in person ill just explain that its exceptionally generous but not approporiate to do again

She didnt give them to me kinky, my brother went to see her a few weeks ago and popped them in when he came to see ds last night

I think that's a good solution - calling them joint Christmas/birthday presents, that is. Because they will still be age-appropriate and if he likes the wrapping you can wrap them up again for him to double the fun!

No wonder she's stopped answering her phone! It sounds like she has enjoyed buying for your DS & perhaps been overly generous but with you making such a fuss about it, I imagine she really wishes she hadn't bothered.

Opening the presents so far before Christmas and then phoning to complain that she has gone over the budget...If you were my SIL I'd make a note just to stick £10 in card from now on and save myself the trouble of trying to do something nice.

Sister, sorry not SIL