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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

agreed a £10 limit for kids presents and just opened about £200 worth

109 replies

littlemissmulledwine · 18/12/2012 12:46

how would you feel?

we agreed a limit as moneys tight for both of us then ds (9month) presents arrive and open them to find over £200 worth.

i feel uncomfortable and have asked to return some as they have tags as we arent in a position to spend that much on their dd's

OP posts:
BloominMisteltoeMarvellousWine · 18/12/2012 13:06

So you gave them a budget of £10 and they actually spent £200????

Please tell us who is was. Friend or family?

It seems strange if you had already set a budget.

Original poster
littlemissmulledwine · 18/12/2012 13:08

i wish i knew blue!! were very lucky that friends have all got him a little present each n its all built up

i just feel that my sister has bought more than she can afford and agreed to the limit of £10 as were all struggling a bit. my guess is she's picked bits up over a few months but i still feel uncomfortable

OP posts:
adeucalione · 18/12/2012 13:09

As it's your sister, I should just ask her about it.

Original poster
littlemissmulledwine · 18/12/2012 13:10

they aren't passed on as new with tags and all boys clothes. she has 2 girls, ones 5 and another 2 months so nappies and formula was bought for ds as he won't be the same size and has different brands to her baby

OP posts:
Original poster
littlemissmulledwine · 18/12/2012 13:12

we have a strained relationship and this is likely to make things worse.

i emailed her saying thanks but i feel awkward as we agreed a limit and would feel much happier returning some bits that have tags on so she can exchange them for things for her dd but she just said her dd won't fit into ds clothes

OP posts:
AngryFeet · 18/12/2012 13:22

Bloody hell why is your 9 month old getting so many gifts? He won't even know it is xmas!

lovelyladuree · 18/12/2012 13:26

Very very odd that you opened them on 18 Dec. You have time to donate them to a local charity if you feel so bad about it but I know you won't.

LIZS · 18/12/2012 13:26

why on earth not if he is 7 months older ! Can you save some for his birthday ?

DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow · 18/12/2012 13:29

Arf at "we don't want him to become overwhelmed" - He's 9 months old, he won't know or care either way Grin

I think both yours and your sisters attitude to gifts is strange. You for opening them now and mentally totting up the cost. Her for sending nappies and formula as 'gifts'.

If you're that uncomfortable, then YOU return the clothes or anything with a tag, or sell it on e-bay and spend the money on your sisters kids/put it in your son's savings account.

lougle · 18/12/2012 13:31

The traditional thing to do, if you feel your DS may be overwhelmed by the whole of Toys R Us the quantity of gifts, is to open some a bit at a time starting on Christmas Day. It's not at all usual to open them early to avoid him being overwhelmed.

Could you save some for his birthday.

OnwardBound · 18/12/2012 13:33

Who on earth gives Christmas presents with the price tags still on?? Confused

I think either your sister has shoplifted this lot, it fell off the back of a lorry, she won it as a hamper prize in a raffle and she wants you to know how much she 'spent' and feel indebted to her...

But I do think she can't take the stuff back to the shop [hence her cryptic reply that DSs clothes won't fit her DD when you suggested she returns them to exchange for clothes for DD].

boomting · 18/12/2012 13:34

They didn't necessarily spend £200 - you can get some really good "as new" stuff for a fraction of the price. I did a Secret Santa this year with a budget of £3 (give or take 10%). One of the presents I gave was a cookbook that retails for £8, but I got it 'as new' from Amazon for £1.61 inc. postage.

However, the thing about needing to borrow a coat does strike me that they are bad with money and therefore this is less likely to be the case.

hermioneweasley · 18/12/2012 13:40

Agree with onward bound

Original poster
littlemissmulledwine · 18/12/2012 13:42

you can't really fail to notice how much is spent when there's about 16 presents, most with tags on

i might suggest putting some away for his birthday.

certain they aren't stolen Grin but you could be right about sold as 2nd hand but with tags

OP posts:
Meandmycats · 18/12/2012 13:50

If she was the one who suggested the £10 limit maybe she did that so you wouldn't feel like you had to spend loads, as she knows things are a bit tight?

She probably thought you would open them on Christmas Day and so wouldn't know how much she'd spent until you'd already passed your gifts over. She might have bought so much as she really wants to help you out?

Anyway, just stick to the limit and thank her for your son's gifts. Personally I would be a bit upset if I'd chosen gifts for my nephews and nieces and then found out my sister wanted to give them back. Just accept them with good grace, but stick to the agreed limit on gifts you buy.

flow4 · 18/12/2012 13:53

There used to be a manufacturers' outlet shop near us, where clothes were sold at seriously discounted prices: £80-200 dresses for £15, £100-150 boots for a tenner, that sort of thing. They had branded goods and fake goods, end-of-line and catalogue returns, etc. Most things were sold with 'original price' tags on, to trick people into buying more and more so people would see what a good bargain they were getting. I wonder if your sister has found a place like this?

But do speak to her about it. There might be a simple explanation, and you'll only worry if you don't :)

shesariver · 18/12/2012 13:57

Who leaves tags on? Ok maybe once or twice a mistake but on 16 different presents??

HipHopOpotomus · 18/12/2012 13:57

why are the tags left on? So you know how much she has spent? I find that quite bizarre and U & bad taste. Especially after you both agreed £10 limit!

Original poster
littlemissmulledwine · 18/12/2012 13:58

im waiting to see what she replies. I am grateful but just seems odd to spend so much when we agreed £10 at her request and like i said she asked to borrow a coat last week for her ds as she was short of money.

if she can't exchange them ill see if she will not get ds a birthday present and next time i see her in person will explain that if she says a budget then stick to it! a few quid over is fine but not that much!

OP posts:
AmberSocks · 18/12/2012 14:07

why does a 9 month old need so many presents?they dont even play with stuff properly at that age.

Original poster
littlemissmulledwine · 18/12/2012 14:10

they don't!

dp & i have got him few bits that he would need for starting nursery in Feb but prob no more than £50 worth

OP posts:
AmberSocks · 18/12/2012 14:13

Its difficult because even though its anooying you dont want to come across as ungrateful.
not sure what i would do,its a wierd one!

AyeOopMoose · 18/12/2012 14:14

I would have said just smile & say thanks as ultimately it's their choice but....

as they had no money to buy a coat for their DC it does seem a bit odd.

Mind you it is easy to say you're not going to spend much and before you know it you have blown £200 mind you I am crap with money

Anyway at the end of the day, their choice. Unless you refuse the gifts which seems off.

SantaWearsGreen · 18/12/2012 14:15

Formula and nappies aren't a gift, thats more to help you out. Don't know why tags would be left on anyway.. Although my dm does the same thing, no idea why. Also agreed with others that she might just have got them bnwt on ebay or in a charity shop, could also be recycled gifts. She might not want to accept them back to return because she knows she can't- ebay most likely.

Not sure why you are opening them now. 9 month old won't get overwhelmed, my son was 9 months his first Christmas and he couldn't have cared less. He wasn't even bothered with the wrapping paper like everyone goes on about, he just didn't really care.

KatzGold · 18/12/2012 14:16

Like others i'm confused as to why you are opening them now and that he'll be overwhelmed on Christmas Day with all these gifts - he's 9 months old, he'll not have a clue whats going on!

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