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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my friend is overreacting?

71 replies

violetpurplerain · 18/12/2012 04:18

Basically I'll try not to drip feed.

Best friends birthday last week, gave her her birthday present. She opens it and says "you bought me these earrings for Christmas" (Christmas 2011) and then handed them back to me.

I felt really embarrassed. With quite a large gap of 11 months I had managed to buy her the same earrings without realising. Whilst I admit that was completely stupid of me, it was definitely 100% an awful mistake. And you would have thought the stock in Accessorize would have changed.

I then bought her a new necklace instead. Went over to her house and she wasn't in. I hide the gift bag round the side of her house and sent her a text, so she would know where it was.

No reply.

I saw her tonight and still she didn't say anything. So at the end of the night I asked outright if she got her presents (flowers too) and she just replied "yeah I did" and walked away.

We were going out for a meal on Thursday and she has sent me a text to cancel.

I'm not expecting hugs and thanks, but I do expect an acknowledgement and for her not to blank me.

Yes I made an honest mistake, and I tried as best I could to rectify it.

aibu to think she is completely overreacting?

OP posts:
quoteunquote · 18/12/2012 12:07

is this your friend OP?

Original poster
violetpurplerain · 18/12/2012 14:12

Thank you everyone, it was making me worry that I'm an awful friend.

I have text her, and asked her what the problem was,

And her response was that I had got her the same earrings and therefore it was obvious that I hadn't gone out myself and bought her birthday present and I must have got someone else to do it.

  • Hmm Yeah she's definitely right, I got one of my many servants to do it for me.
OP posts:
whois · 18/12/2012 14:15

WTF?

Your friend is a cow. I would find it funny, means you must really think the earings will suit her.

PiccadillyCervix · 18/12/2012 14:19

You got someone else to accidentally choose the exact same present as you?! Shock

I would assume because you did it twice, it was obvious it was you who chose them..

PiccadillyCervix · 18/12/2012 14:20

Also you would have seen them after the other person bought them?! So you would then say..oh sorry I bought these last year.

wilkos · 18/12/2012 14:20

whaaaaattt????? she is crazy. ditch her.

TapirAroundTheChristmasTree · 18/12/2012 14:21

You are not an awful friend - you bought her something that you thought she would like. It doesn't matter that you bought the same thing twice in two years, it matters that you thought/cared enough to get her something.

She sounds like a prize twit tbh - I wouldn't bother texting back unless it was along the lines of "Aye, right then ".

Who needs friends who behave like this?

MrsFlibble · 18/12/2012 14:22

Violet I'd ditch her, what a snotty little mare.

I've known my closest friend for 24 years and if i did that, i'd have a new nickname and she'd have had a good giggle about it. I've had people do that to me, and actually was quite glad, coz for me, if you like something enough, having more than one of it, is a nice thing.

peeriebear · 18/12/2012 14:23

Wow, what a dick. How about
"I picked them myself by mistake, I suppose they look like something I think you'd like so they caught my eye a second time. You are being remarkably hurtful over an honest mistake."
or just tell her to fuck off is always an option of course.

Pixieonthemoor · 18/12/2012 18:10

What a prize bitch!!

I would reply "I bought the earrings because I thought you would like them and that they would suit you. It was a genuine mistake. I tried to make amends with the lovely necklace and flowers but you are still being genuinely unpleasant about it all. I am extremely hurt by your attitude. Dont bother contacting me again"

Honestly, you sound like a lovely person - she absolutely does not deserve a friend like you and your life will be all the better for not having a complete and utter cow like her in it!!

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 18/12/2012 18:16

That is so very rude!!! I'd have said nothing and thanked you for your kindness. We all make mistakes, no one died it's just a set of earrings! How utterly spoiled and ungrateful!!

maddening · 18/12/2012 18:30

Yanbu - she is being weird - my friend gave me the necklace that I had given her for her birthday - obviously recycling gifts - I said thankyou and was all appreciative and never mentioned it - why make someone feel like shit over a gift.

Is there anything else that could be amiss with your friend? I would text her back and ask if she is upset about the present or is it something else? Or call her if you feel up to it. If it is about the present she is being odd.

WhereYouLeftIt · 18/12/2012 18:35

"her response was that I had got her the same earrings and therefore it was obvious that I hadn't gone out myself and bought her birthday present and I must have got someone else to do it."
I almost bought DS another copy of a book I bought him in October - just two months ago. Yes, I had already forgotten it but looking at it on the shelf in the bookshop, I knew it was just the sort of thing he likes. I'd guess your duplication was very similar.

Your friend is an arse.

PorkyScratching · 18/12/2012 18:49

Your friend is a mardy cow. I would have found it very amusing if a close friend of mine did that Grin so don't lose any sleep over her total over-reaction.

Is she usually a drama queen?

ChristmasSpiritEndorphins · 20/12/2012 08:08

She has skewered thinking in that case.
Don't feel badly OP, she seems to have some problems, but you just made a simple oops, whereas she has no grace or manners. Maybe she is under a lot of worry and stress, that is unhinging her or something?

WinterWinds · 20/12/2012 11:39

I'd be bloody pissed off if i got that kind of response!

It seems you are in a no win situation as it wont matter what you say or do she has made her mind up and thats that.You have already apologised and tried to rectify the situation but still not good enough for her.
She's not really a true friend imo. Friends would laugh and joke about it

Also if she is not usually like this and is a huge over reaction on her part then would be inclined to think theres something else going on with her. But still no need to be so bloody ungreatful

If this is how she usually behaves then i would ditch her asap TBH!!!

Hobbitation · 20/12/2012 11:43

The correct response from your friend would have been to accept the earrings graciously and not say anything. Even my 7 year old knows that you don't say "Oh, I've already got one of those." It's not like you gave her something back she had bought you a year ago.

PumpkinPositive · 20/12/2012 11:51

And her response was that I had got her the same earrings and therefore it was obvious that I hadn't gone out myself and bought her birthday present and I must have got someone else to do it.

Have you noticed psycho tendencies in her before?

Frankly, I'm amazed anyone can remember who bought them what from year to year. Must be gittin' old. Confused

Fakebook · 20/12/2012 11:56

What a weirdo. Was it a significant birthday? Is she perhaps going through the menopause or something? Why would anyone react like that? I would've taken the present and exchanged it. How odd.

TheCraicDealer · 20/12/2012 12:25

I can never remember what my friends get me from year to year. This is obviously because I get someone else to open my presents for me because I can't be arsed.

She's a crazy horse, violet. If it were one of my mates I'm fairly certain they'd be a bit Hmm for a brief moment before laughing and calling the gifter a silly bitch. Because they are nice people with a sense of humour.

OurPlanetNeptune · 20/12/2012 12:51

I have been in the shoes of your friend. I laughed about it.

Your 'friend' is a twat.

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