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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to give DC4 (aged 2) TWO bath/showers a day?

105 replies

SlowlyGoingRoundTheBend · 16/12/2012 20:15

He is usually drenched in the AM (even with a quick nappy change before I go to bed) and there is no way I could just wipe him over - he would stink all day so has a quick shower. He definitely needs a bath in the evenings as he poos and is generally quite disgusting so needs a good soak.

Anything less is skanky IMHO.

I did the same with the older DCs and then dropped the morning shower when they were dry at night although DD started showering in the AM as well as the PM when she started secondary school and I imagine the DSs will next year as well

According the SIL (who bathes her DCs perhaps 2-3 times a week - gross) it is ridiculous, too much work, too many wet towels and he must hate it (actually he loves feeling clean). Well how do you clean a nappy wearing toddler without putting them in the shower/bath? Who is BUR?

OP posts:
Idocrazythings · 16/12/2012 23:18

What a waste of water! Maybe you need bigger nappies or more expensive ones to hold all that night time wee (not that I know what type you use- just a thought).

It is not skanky to bath DC every few days- my poor DS (like many others) has terrible excema flare ups and it is awful to see him uncomfortable, scratching and itching his poor skin which can end up bleeding- so I'd rather he be "skanky" than the other. Plus the less steroids and chemicals I need to use on him the better. So his baths are restricted to save his skin.

Clary · 16/12/2012 23:22

Amen to that thought tidydancer Grin

Idocrazythings · 16/12/2012 23:23

meg by reducing the number of baths it helps reduce excema flare ups (keeps bodies natural oils in rather than putting artificial ones on it) so there is no broken skin to get infected. Best to keep the excema at bay than manage an outbreak

HildaOgden · 16/12/2012 23:26

I can only assume that the majority of MNers don't bath their DCs daily as it cuts into their time on here!

Did you mean that to sound so rude?? (I've been dying to use that!!)

Imabadmum · 16/12/2012 23:29

I don't think washing twice a day in these circs means you ABU. But be careful it doesn't become a habit. I have done the same with my dc's just before they started potty training bc at night they do pee so much especially my eldest ds.

And Xmas is perfect timing for potty training as you and DH are both at home for a few days at least (I assume?) which means you have backup, and an extra pair of eyes/ears watching for accidents.

My DS's (now 4&5) still bath every day, and my DD's (13&14) shower every day. Maybe they don't need to, but I'm not sure I want my dc's to get to the point where they need to wash before they do.

Pooka · 16/12/2012 23:37

Older dcs (age 9 and 7) have baths every other day. Although 9 year old sometimes chooses to have bath on an nscheduled night. She washes her hair three times a week.

Middle dc has or rather had eczema. He can go three days between baths. But usually every other night. He washes hair once a week. It's short and doesn't get greasy or smelly.

Youngest dc is 3. He has a bath every night. He enjoys it, he isn't prone to dry skin and is the grubbiest of the three because of his age nd general stickiness. Hair wash when needed, though he doesn't actually have much hair.

I have a shower every night and a quick wash in morning. Dh has a shower every morning.

None of us smell. I think the only time I've given kids a bath more than once a day is when they had chicken pox and I was doing the oatmeal bath thing. Apart from when they've had sickness bugs - so an 11 pm wake up covered in sick - then i hae run a quick bath for them to get clean and get rid of the smell while I've been dealing with damage control in their bedrooms.

ImagineJL · 16/12/2012 23:37

I'm amazed by the number of people who think YABU to wash him twice a day, but in my experience of reading MN the people who bath their kids 2-3 times a week rather than daily are often very vocal and defensive. You will often see the line "I bath my kids once a week and they do not smell".

DS2 age 3 is still in nappies at night, and he has a quick bath or shower every morning, then a proper bath with DS1 in the evening. The fact is that a nappy worn during the night gets very full of wee, and therefore there is urine on their skin in the morning. Urine is very irritant as well as smelly, so the best thing to do is wash it off with water. Obviously people with dry skin conditions have to be more careful with water use, but they are the minority. There's no way I'd rub wee over my skin, dab it with a baby wipe, then go to work!

Do whatever feels right to you OP, but remember that the non-daily bathers are seemingly quite militant and will readily criticise you, as demonstrated by this thread!

piprabbit · 16/12/2012 23:45

I think the OP has had an awful lot of replies from daily bathers who think that twice daily bathing is a bit OTT.
I've not spotted many replies from anyone recommending she drops back from twice a day to once a week.

stargirl1701 · 16/12/2012 23:49

It's not very Eco-friendly to bath that often. Are there 6 of you bathing twice a day? That's way too much water. It's such a precious resource. YABU.

Unless you all use the same bath water. If so, YANBU.

Softlysoftly · 16/12/2012 23:50

It's not an issue how many times you choose to bath your DC, it is a massive issue you find dirt so abhorrent, they probably aren't that stinky you know. You sound worryingly OCD about the whole thing and passing that on to kids is damaging.

I'm a 2-3 times a week, again due to skin issues. I guess that's me and the DDs written off as superskanky Confused Which would bother me if it weren't such a prepubescent insult.

Tag you've got the lurgy.......

SchroSawMummyRidingSantaClaus · 16/12/2012 23:53

But mines doesn't smell as he gets washed! Just not fully scrubbed every single day.

And I am a daily bather, up to twice a day. That's my own skin I am fucking with though, not my childs.

There really is no need for more than once a day.

MayaAngelCool · 16/12/2012 23:54

What softlysoftly said.

OP, every post you've written sounds like you're OCD. Either you have the world's four smelliest children, if they really need all that overscrubbing, or you have a problem with the way you view dirt and hygiene. I'd vouch for the latter.

At this point in the thread, with so many people disagreeing with you, perhaps it would now be worth giving this serious consideration?

MayaAngelCool · 16/12/2012 23:55

And frequent washing is dreadful for eczema.

LucieMay · 16/12/2012 23:56

I don't understand why your DS is "drenched" in a morning? Is his room too hot? DS has only ever woke up drenched in sweat on hot summer nights. Is it normal from small children?

Startail · 17/12/2012 00:00

What are baby wipes for?

HildaOgden · 17/12/2012 00:02

Personally,I think you should just buy better nappies Xmas Grin

piprabbit · 17/12/2012 00:08

LucieMay I think the OPs DS is drenched in urine.

LucieMay · 17/12/2012 00:10

Oh I see Pip!

MummytoKatie · 17/12/2012 00:10

We bath dd twice a week. As advised by the doctor / eczema clinic.

I'm pregnant so have a nose like a bloodhound ATM so am pretty certain she isn't smelly.

She's a very finickety child though so eats beautifully and likes to keep herself clean when playing with paint, clay etc.

Personally I shower every day but that is because I sweat and get greasy hair. Neither of these apply to dd as she hasn't been through puberty yet. (She's two!)

therethere · 17/12/2012 00:14

I bathe my dc (2 and 4) every evening and i do think it is a little grubby not to wash them everyday. When i read the op my first thought though was yabu and it is excessive to wash twice a day. For me,I know any urine on the skin from the nightime will be washed away in the evening bath and that a wipe will suffice first thing,

I properly wash my kids faces, hands and bottoms in the bath with baby wash, I know some friends who's definition of a bath is to sit them in bath water and not wash them at all. I don't feel that is enough but that's just my opinion.

MrsDimples · 17/12/2012 00:22

YABU

Water is a precious resource.
Over cleanliness in children prevents the build up of natural immunity.

You are ridiculous to say people who bathe / shower less than you are Super Skanky.

You have issues with cleanliness that are not healthy.

I suggest you try a new nappy for overnight.

Sitting in urine does not cause problems, urine mixed with faeces does.

humblebumble · 17/12/2012 00:41

My DC2 sounds like your DC4. Smells seem to stick to him in a way that they never did with DC1, even after I clean DC2 thoroughly after a poo he still smells. I am not surprised you want to bath/shower him that much. I never would have said that with DC1.

SantaWearsGreen · 17/12/2012 00:44

Twice a day is too much. There really is no need for the night time one imo. Just bath/shower in the morning to get rid of the pee stench and thats all that is needed. Pretty pointless going to bed all clean after a bath when he will just drench through and wake up needing another anyway...

Once every other day is actually sufficient but I totally get your point about the 'old man' smell as I call it, we bath ours pretty much every morning because of it or we wash them down.

SIL isn't wrong or gross either btw, her kids might just not get that dirty or smelly.

JoInScotland · 17/12/2012 00:59

DP and I both have eczema - his is very acute and he regularly has to go in for light therapy, is on antibiotics for infections, etc. We are very keen to make sure DS doesn't develop dry skin/eczema and then have to treat it all his life... damage to the lipids as one poster said. DS gets a bath twice a week, using Dermol soap-replacement that we use ourselves on our skin. So he's never been bathed in "soap". He also gets a shower when we go to the pool, usually on Monday morning, to get the chlorine out of his hair. He is not dirty, and does not smell, though he is still in pull-ups.

DP and I have a shower once a day. It's important to keep your skin moisturised when you have eczema, especially the acute kind, so more often than that and I find our eczema flares up again.

Kytti · 17/12/2012 01:08

My children are also bathed 2 - 3 times a week and it is NOT gross.

I clean then properly in between times, and they are fine.

What size nappy is he wearing overnight? Sounds like it's not big enough to contain the wee.

Bathing twice a DAY sounds a bit OCD to me, and VERY bad for his skin.