To want Christmas on our own without in laws?

[MummytoMog]

I'm being a cow, I know. We've spent every single christmas since we were together, so all thirteen of them) with my OH's parents. They're lovely, and they make a massive effort for Christmas and never mind if my family comes over on Boxing day. Since I had the DCs (and before to be honest) I've really started hating Christmas - I'm away from my house, I end up eating food I hate (I don't like fruit, nuts or fish which limits me in their house), we always do everything like eating and present opening to their timetable, they insist on feeding the kids stupid messy food, and then I have to clean them up, we're barely allowed to watch TV, everyone gets plastered, so I have to stay sober for the kids. Etc etc etc. whine whine whine. Anyway, last year we went because they were supposed to be moving and it would be our last chance. I was so angry by lunchtime (when we did not eat of course, because Christmas involves starving all fucking day and then eating a massive meal at 4pm) that I was practically in tears. In January I had a very forceful conversation with OH about staying home for Christmas, and he agreed. Come November, he was gently reminded of this and threw a complete strop. So somehow, Christmas on our own has turned into Christmas with his fecking parents staying here, even though we are all going to his brother's house on boxing day. This means that DD is going to have to sleep in with her brother in his tiny toddler bed, I'm going to have to buy hundreds of pounds worth of food and spend all of my time cleaning for the two days before they get here. And then no doubt have to still do everything to their fecking timetable all day.

I had basically resigned myself to this when bloody OH pipes up with 'and shall we spend New Year there at my parents?'. Er no. He's being serious as well. He can't think of any reason why I wouldn't want to spend several days staying with his parents. It's not that I don't like them, I just don't want to spend most of my christmas holiday with them.

Oh well. He'll be sorry when he realises that there's no way he's getting a shag with his parents in the next room.

Agree with PP that about 12 years ago you should have insisted on Christmas with your family. We alternated every year until the DC came along and now have Christmas at home. ILs visiting this year but that's OK. Our house, our rules. Although DH still needs persuading about what is practical (no my children will not wait until their GPs get up at midday for breakfast).

Mum has two of my brothers at home, although my DS is merrily pissing off to her GF's house and not bothering to visit (cow). I've suggested that me and the DCs go up there on 28th for the day. It's a bit of a way for her to travel to us. Next year if all goes to plan we'll have built our extension and will have a proper spare room with an ensuite for mum to stay in if she wants. Right now, we have a loft conversion that doesn't meet building regs, so don't feel I can ask anyone to sleep in it as it's freezing and a bit lethal to get to.

Normally my family come over to the in laws on boxing day, which they've always been really happy with. They were really supportive while dad was dying as well. Mind you, MiL once introduced my Dad to her neighbours with the immortal phrase 'this is A, he has Parkinson's'. Felt like saying 'and this is V, she's had a hysterectomy'.

I've had a rootle in the freezer and found an entire haggis :) my favourite lazy thing to cook, as I can get it all ready in advance and just bung it in the oven...also found a small chicken, but not sure I can face roasting two birds in one week, but I'm sensing stews and buffets may be the answer.

Haggis? Well that's one way of getting revenge and ensuring they don't come back next year.

I am shit at saying NO to people and sometimes find myself railroaded into stuff that I don't want to do, and am too polite to say no. But even I would not be still entertaining this after 13 years.

13 years!!!! That is unbelievable. Suck it up this xmas, but as most have said above, your house, your rules/ timetable/ food choices etc
You now need to lay down the law about the next 13 years being YOUR choice...

I sympathise. I wish I could stay home all day, just the four if us. Rather than going to OH's family and then mine. Means I get to watch no Christmas telly on the day. Also would rather not stay away for days. I just want to stay at home. IN MY HOME. I am dreaming of a white Christmas so can't move the car off the driveway or down the hill... Being snowed in for days would be bliss!

All 3 GPs come to my house. I cook, DP and DCs do dishwasher and assorted hosting, table setting, etc, Mum and Dad collect MIL on their way to ours and take her home in the evening, and we all just gently mingle, doing what we want.

Now oldest DC is 12, have got it down to a fine art, so we have a relaxing day together, no one forced to do/eat what they don't want.

Email everyone 'looking forward to Xmas at ours. DH has offered to prepare all the veg etc the day b4 so that we can eat at 1pm. Planning to open all gifts at 10am by the way. I'm planning to cook xxx and xx and provide all the food but it would help if you could sort the alcohol out between you all and also bring some cracker/cheeses. Cheers!'

Good God, apples, bananas and peaches, hazelnuts and walnuts leaves you HEAPS of puddings which are absolutely divine!!!!! HOW ON EARTH have your ILs managed to give you so much crap food???!!! They must really be insensitive.

PM me and I can send you a failproof carrot cake recipe which is really nice, and easy to make. Or an upside down peach cake even.

The only problem with easy food is you then have no excuse to escape from in laws to do the cooking( I speak from experience!) I now find the more complicated the better as Ican shut myself in the kitchen with a bottle of red and claim to be too busy cooking to sit in the sitting room
for m in law to hold court..,

How has he arranged this without checking with you first. Yanbu, you've served your time.

I love the late onset of norovirus idea. Fill your cupboards with what you like and hibernate for a few days. Bliss!

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