Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Incident in pool left me a bit perplexed/ worried

89 replies

AlphaBeta2012 · 16/12/2012 13:48

Was swimming today with my 22mth old son. He is pretty unconfident in the water so we have been working on him slowly building up his confidence and having fun in the pool. we were having fun in the baby pool bit which has a small whirlpool area. Going round this my son was on my back and this 8/9 year old boy came by kicking frantically, he came past us and caught my son a little bit, then with another big kick which i managed to block with my arm as it nearly hit my son in the head. The space was narrow and I very nicely said to him, that he was swimming very well but could he be a bit careful kicking as there was lots of babies in the pool. He smiled and said sorry he was just learning to swim properly. Then his father (I assume) came up behind us and literally yelled at this child 'why have you stopped swimming - I told you to do a whole lap'. Off poor kid then leapt, kicking fractically in the way children learning to swim to do and caught me really hard in the stomach - I'm 17 weeks pregnant so was not impressed (though on't blame kid). I said, still politely, to the father/ uncle/ whoever he was. 'Excuse me, would it be sensible to teach him to swim in the main pool (there is a lot of shallow there), he has just accidently kicked my son and now just kicked me in the stomach and I'm pregnant, I know he didn't mean to but there is a lot more room in there (gesturing to main pool)' - I hadn't raised my voice or anything, and wasn't angry at that point. This man then told me - 'why don't you just go and f* yourself you stuck up cow' and went off. I was really shocked and we left the pool.
Was I BU, I really don't think I was, especailly to have that language infront of my toddler! i think i am more worried about this mans attitude towards the child and me saying that to him would make him go off more at the child instead!

OP posts:
OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 16/12/2012 15:24

Also, if you were kicked that hard (through water Xmas Hmm) then are you sure you were as polite as you thought?

If I was kicked hard, pregnant or not, I'd be likely to be in pain and not exactly putting my polite voice on.

SledsImOn · 16/12/2012 15:28

I don't think it was necessarily an apology she wanted - more to try and prevent further injury, I think the child apologised nicely and THEN proceeded to kick her again - thus speaking to the parent to try and get something done about it? like, child taken elsewhere maybe

McChristmasPants2012 · 16/12/2012 15:29

Yanbu, there was a place for people learning to swim and a toddler designed area is not one of them.

I have stopped going to soft play areas because when dd was 14 months old 6-7 year old used to go into the baby bit play fighting and throwing balls ect and I have also stopped swimming for this reason.

SledsImOn · 16/12/2012 15:32

Yes we don't go swimming any more either. If the baby pool (which is really a beach pool thing) is going to be occupiedwith fairly aggressive larger children who have a children's pool they could be using, and their also aggressive parents, then it's just not worth it.

Mintberry · 16/12/2012 15:35

I'd agree with the live and let live approach if they were in a general children's pool- but they weren't, they were in a babies pool set a side for adults with their babies/toddlers.

The whole reason that the pool was there was to provide a more gentle space for fragile infants to splash about freely. I don't think it was unreasonable at all to expect the boy to go in the appropriate learner/children's pool. It's similar to if nine year old's were barging about dangerously, causing accidents in the toddler area at the play park when there's a perfectly good age appropriate area for them to play.

Getting kicked in the stomach could have caused serious damage to her unborn child, and I'm surprised at the lack of empathy for that here! The boy sounded like he was very well mannered, but I worry for him in the future if he has a father who displays such disrespect in front of him.

Hope you're okay OP- try to write it off as a one off bad experience with a nasty piece of work.

Discolite · 16/12/2012 16:13

I'm on your side OP. It wasn't the boy's fault but at 8 he should be aware of others around him. The father sounds like a nasty piece of work - anyone who thinks a pregnant women should just accept being kicked in the stomach is obviously a twat.

garlicbaubles · 16/12/2012 16:16

Feeling I'm on the wrong thread! I would have told him not to shout at the kid and possibly got punched for my efforts.

GoldenFrankincenseAndMyrrh · 16/12/2012 16:31

Can't believe Outraged attitude. Hmm

What a twat. Yanbu OP.

GoldenFrankincenseAndMyrrh · 16/12/2012 16:31

's

MrsWolowitz · 16/12/2012 16:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MummytoMog · 16/12/2012 16:42

Man sounds like a bit of a nasty one, best to have left rather than risk a really unpleasant confrontation in front of yr LO. Although I would have probably gone off on one to be honest, have a real temper on me. We stopped going to Leytonstone because of all the massive kids who insisted on being really rough in the tiny baby bit. And their creepy dads who hang around leering (I'm not worth leering at, but they still do it). Poor kid. He sounds nice and polite.

SuiGeneris · 16/12/2012 16:46

Yanbu. How awful. I think I would hae reacted just like you, leaving dumbstruck and then coming up with good putdowns later on.

AlphaBeta2012 · 16/12/2012 17:13

Thanks all, and yes garlic wish I'd said something about poor boy. Was initially too worried about ds and baby, then a bit shell shocked from man. I'm increasingly concerned about baby as got nice bruise on hip/ upper pelvis. I've been under the epu (several prior miscarriages) for a while, rang them and they said very unlikely to have caused harm though.

OP posts:
paddyclamp · 16/12/2012 17:28

The OP said the kid was 8/9 and if he was capable of swimming a full lap he should have been in the big pool....YANBU

LilyVonSchtupp · 16/12/2012 17:34

outraged - antisocial behaviour is being told to "go fuck yourself you stuck up cow". I know that you know this and are deliberately misunderstanding in order to be contrarian.

Colliewollydoodle · 16/12/2012 17:38

Well, I know if it had been my son that had accidentally kicked someone, I would have been mortified, and been so apologetic and probably slunk out of the pool. But that's me. I probably need to be more assertive, bet you're still turning the whole event over and over. Don't loose any sleep over it. I know I would !

JamieandtheMagiTorch · 16/12/2012 17:39

OP

You did nothing wrong

The man was a wanker

I have no idea what you are on about Outraged.

ArtexTheHallWithBoughsOfMonkey · 16/12/2012 17:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 16/12/2012 18:01

It's not really about a pregnant woman getting kicked in the stomach though, is it? These things are never about the details, which are irrelevant.

In my view, things like this are happening more and more because people are becoming so very insular, concerned only for themselves and their immediate families and with that focus, unable (or unwilling) to read a situation properly and think before they say something. Everybody feels entitled to say whatever they like in whatever format they want... not everybody has restraint.

OP didn't do anything 'wrong', no - but said something maybe a little ill-advised and quite unnecessary that was taken the wrong way by somebody who wasn't interested and reacted in the way he probably always does, by shouting and swearing. Lots of people swear... I hate it, they do it anyway - gleefully, sometimes.

Probably the better thing to do would have been to leave the pool and speak to the pool attendant or manager and ask them to assess the situation. I'm not convinced it was a 'toddler' pool, not clear from what OP posted but either way, child had a right to be in it and OP's child also.

I don't know what the picking on Outraged is about, other people gave the same views, or some of them. Lots of bandwaggon posters about at the moment it seems.

Anyway, OP, I hope you are feeling better, it must have been a shock. You never know who you are approaching and what their response will be - better not to put yourself in their path if you can help it, I think.

JamieandtheMagiTorch · 16/12/2012 18:09

Lying

I don't agree that what she said was ill-asdised. It was at the point that she had been licked twice that she said something assertive, but not insulting to the other man. I do agree that sadly, there are some people who see any challenge to them as an excuse to become abusive

Outraged has re-stated her view more than once. No picking on going on. merely responding.

JamieandtheMagiTorch · 16/12/2012 18:09

advised

JamieandtheMagiTorch · 16/12/2012 18:10

kicked - not licked

lljkk · 16/12/2012 18:10

Um, pool-rage was just a bit of an aside. About how hard it can be sharing pools nicely. So most of us have our little peeves (I don't like old biddies swimming slowly in pairs). Feel like I touched a nerve that you wanted to take it as an accusation.

JamieandtheMagiTorch · 16/12/2012 18:11

Lying

Me again - thought of something else: I also disagree that we should always seek some higher authority (like a pool attendent) before trying to communicate with our fellow man - that's a bit sad really.

McChristmasPants2012 · 16/12/2012 18:15

Everybody feels entitled to say whatever they like in whatever format they want... not everybody has restraint.

I said, still politely, to the father/ uncle/ whoever he was. 'Excuse me, would it be sensible to teach him to swim in the main pool (there is a lot of shallow there), he has just accidently kicked my son and now just kicked me in the stomach and I'm pregnant, I know he didn't mean to but there is a lot more room in there.

so what was the problem there, if it would of been my child i would of said sorry and thank-you for pointing out that area.