Incident in pool left me a bit perplexed/ worried

[AlphaBeta2012]

Was swimming today with my 22mth old son. He is pretty unconfident in the water so we have been working on him slowly building up his confidence and having fun in the pool. we were having fun in the baby pool bit which has a small whirlpool area. Going round this my son was on my back and this 8/9 year old boy came by kicking frantically, he came past us and caught my son a little bit, then with another big kick which i managed to block with my arm as it nearly hit my son in the head. The space was narrow and I very nicely said to him, that he was swimming very well but could he be a bit careful kicking as there was lots of babies in the pool. He smiled and said sorry he was just learning to swim properly. Then his father (I assume) came up behind us and literally yelled at this child 'why have you stopped swimming - I told you to do a whole lap'. Off poor kid then leapt, kicking fractically in the way children learning to swim to do and caught me really hard in the stomach - I'm 17 weeks pregnant so was not impressed (though on't blame kid). I said, still politely, to the father/ uncle/ whoever he was. 'Excuse me, would it be sensible to teach him to swim in the main pool (there is a lot of shallow there), he has just accidently kicked my son and now just kicked me in the stomach and I'm pregnant, I know he didn't mean to but there is a lot more room in there (gesturing to main pool)' - I hadn't raised my voice or anything, and wasn't angry at that point. This man then told me - 'why don't you just go and f* yourself you stuck up cow' and went off. I was really shocked and we left the pool.
Was I BU, I really don't think I was, especailly to have that language infront of my toddler! i think i am more worried about this mans attitude towards the child and me saying that to him would make him go off more at the child instead!

A child learning to swim is hardly 'anti social behaviour' and calling the OP a 'victim' is ridiculous!

It's a public swimming pool, you expect to be in close quarters with other people.

Maybe I'm just a little bit more 'live and let live' than others on this thread.

A child learning to swim isn't anti-social. It is, however, a bit anti-social to both your child and all others in the pool, which included other children learning to swim if you bollock your child for stopping.

Complain to the pool. They should get the lifeguards to keep an closer eye on the baby pool for you. It's scary though - hope youre not too shook up

That I agree with Jessie!

So by being in a public place with a toddler the op should look out for possible harm? Above and beyond what she already did? I find that notion laughable as the OP has made clear she had nowhere to go!!
OP also was not negative to the child and made a perfectly reasonable suggestion to an unreasonable man. She got abuse for her trouble.

OP hasnt suggested child was in any way at fault yet she is being precious to not want her child or unborn child hurt? Live and let live my arse! What if that kick had caused a MC or damage to the OP? Where does live an let live fit in there?! The least the man could of done is apologise! He sounds an obnoxious cretin and the OP sounds very reserved what a wanker.

Hope you are ok OP.

Child himself showed far more manners than his father. Let's hope he retains the ability to say sorry!

YANBU. The man's a twat and I feel sorry for the boy.

You run into dysfunctional idiots everywhere, unfortunately. Glad you and baby were okay.

I agree that the man sounds like an obnoxious cretin, but I don't agree that she made a reasonable suggestion. She made an unwelcome, patronising and I think rude, suggestion.

If the man and child had wanted to be in the main pool, they would have been. The fact that they weren't suggests there was a reason for their choice, even if that reason was just personal preference.

And yes, if you are going to a public swimming pool on a Sunday morning, you should look out for children who are splashing an kicking! If you want to avoid older children, go to the pool during a babes and bumps session or whatever they call it nowadays while all the older ones are at school.

He was out of order to speak to you the way he did but the way you spoke to him could have been perceived as patronising,hence his less than charming reaction.

She made an unwelcome, patronising and I think rude, suggestion.

Utter nonsense.

So what if the OP works all week outraged? She should not swim for fear of being hurt by someone? And worse she should expect that?? People are always on about entitlement on here but its not entitled to expect not to be hurt! If YOUR child hurt the OP would you say to her "oh its your fault for being here on a weekend with your child who
Is smaller than mine"?? What bollocks

I think, considering you were kicked in the stomach OP, you were very level headed.

I was elbowed in the stomach when I was only a few weeks pregnant, and it really shook me.

I'm not sure what you are asking what you are being unreasonable about, but I don't think YABU.

I suppose I was just interested whether others would have reacted like I did, or was the mans response in any way justified. To those who think I was rude/ patronising what should I have said? I can't believe any mother or pregnant women would of not wanted to say anything?

I suppose I was just interested whether others would have reacted like I did, or was the mans response in any way justified. To those who think I was rude/ patronising what should I have said? I can't believe any mother or pregnant women would of not wanted to say anything?

Inclined to agree with outraged - of course as an adult you have a responsibility to look out for potential hazards and a young child who might swim into you is one you might reasonably expect to encounter in a swimming pool.

That being said the man was deeply unpleasant.

That's horrible, OP, no wonder you're still upset.

I think you were a bit pushy to ask them to move, but his reaction was completely outrageous, makes your pushiness pale into nothingness. He should have apologised not become apoplectic. There is no excuse for his response.

Crap dad and 8/9 is very late to learn to swim, much easier to do it earlier, like at 22 months! If he'd learned earlier, he wouldn't be doing the mad kicking. Oh well suppose I'm a bit biased, just look at my name!

entitled to expect not to be hurt

Jeez we're talking about a primary aged school kid who has not yet got he hang of swimming not an adult thug committing an assault

X post.

"what should I have said?"

If i go the pool I expect to get the occasional bump, probably more than occasional. And that's the adult-only sessions. Seriously. With children playing the bumps happen even more often. So I wouldn't have commented at all about it. I'd only comment if someone was being malicious in their bumping. Or exceptionally reckless, I guess. But usually the lifeguards step in.

Have you heard of pool-rage? Regular pool users all have our own pet peeves about everyone else in the pool.

I don't think I would have commented about it at all to be honest. I might have felt like saying something, just as I did when I was in Mummy Tiger mode with my own PFB and older children splashed or bumped them, but I wouldn't have said anything.

OP already had an apology from the child, I can't see what could possibly have been gained from saying anything. Whatever the outcome, someone was going to end up upset. It was either going to be the child who was no longer allowed to learn to swim the pool he was comfortable in being upset, or the OP who didn't get the response she wanted. It ended up being the OP.

Pool rage? How ridiculous! I was kicked hard in the stomach when pregnant and I have no right to think it was avoidable! Or to expect apology from accompanying adult!! My goodness some of you are a hard nosed bunch!

Pool rage? How ridiculous! I was kicked hard in the stomach when pregnant and I have no right to think it was avoidable! Or to expect apology from accompanying adult!! My goodness some of you are a hard nosed bunch!

OP, imo you did nothing wrong and he was just a twat.

I'm so sorry this happened to you - yes he reacted to losing face but that's not your problem, you did nothing wrong.

I was using the baby pool with ds2 last year, who was 3/ 4 - there was a family of several kids including some 9/10yos who could swim fine, and were just hanging about swimming in the baby pool (which is about 2ft deep at most!) We got splashed by one and I asked them really nicely if they could be careful - ended up being confronted by their angry parent.

We managed to smooth it over without incident but it was awful. People should remember that a baby pool is really for babies - you can't take a baby or toddler in the big pool at all, while bigger kids CAN use the bigger pool (about 3-4ft deep).

whatever the rights and wrongs, the man was a total git to you and totally out of order. Sounds like he's a git to everyone including his poor lad.

I'd have got straight out of that pool and reported him for abusive language.

I would not have reported the poor boy but told the manager he spoke to him like shit aswell as yourself.

Look out for him next time and report him when you see him.
The only reason people like this arsehole continue to bully and intimidate those around them is because no one stands up to them.

Why do you need an apology from the adult? You had an apology from the child who made the mistake, and it was only an accident! You sound like hard work to me.