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Original poster

to think its a bit tight when parents count a school dinner as THE main meal of the day

468 replies

MariahScarey · 16/12/2012 12:34

all other things being equal (money activities etc)

have a colleague who makes her kids have sandwiches for tea " as they eat at school"

they have money, they can cook - is this laziness?
I know they wont starve or out, but I wouldnt count a tiny school meal that is then burned off as a main meal.

USUAL DISCLAIMERS

Yes there are worse things to worry to about
YEs its none of my business
Yes I am judging

OP posts:
wordfactory · 19/12/2012 14:03

That's BS laqueen.

Go on any 'what's for tea' thread here on MN and the vast vast majority of us are cooking quite simple yet delicious family food. It's what families all around the world eat.

By all means feed your family bowls of cereal and sandwiches and pre-prepared meals from M&S...I really have no strong feelings whatsoever...but don't pretend that this is because you are above current trends and anyone with a life should do the same.

Bonsoir · 19/12/2012 14:04

I make meals from scratch from high-quality ingredients according to reasonably traditional recipes (though not necessarily the traditions of my own culture) because I think that the act of sitting down to a good home-made meal at a pre-agreed time every day, and having conversations, is one of the most important aspects of family life. It affords comfort, sustenance (physical and psychological), sharing, relaxation...

wordfactory · 19/12/2012 14:05

I don't feel bad either tosn when life precludes us eating a proper meal together.

wordfactory · 19/12/2012 14:08

bonsoir I agree.

I don't feel remotely bad when it can't happen (last night for example I fed six thirteen year old girls pizza and gingerbread men) but I'm not going to pretend that it isn't a valuable thing to do as a family either.

Bonsoir · 19/12/2012 14:10

No, I don't find bad either when people have to eat sandwiches for lunch - life is busy and eating a quick sandwich between activities is a necessity for all of us some days. Ditto when I go out for the evening and the children get to eat supermarket pizza - they are thrilled and I don't want to be faffing about with cooking while trying to make myself look glamorous and delicious-smelling!

LilyBolero · 19/12/2012 14:11

Don't judge people who cannot sit down and eat together as a family, in our case it is through ridiculous working hours, we are never all in as a family at any time which could be construed a meal time.

imdreamingofaskyebluechristmas · 19/12/2012 14:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wordfactory · 19/12/2012 14:14

lily I don't judge.

To be honest we are often in a situation where it is impossible. But that doesn't mean it's not a highly valuable thing to do...

GreatCongas · 19/12/2012 14:15

Why the assumption that if you feed your children sandwiches that A you can't cook B never eat together C buy ready meals

I'm one of the ones who said that I feed my lot sandwiches (or equivalent) for example last night Bread, (which I make) with soft cheese (which I sometimes make) and chutney (which I make) then yoghurt (oh yes I've been known to make that too) and fruit (ok I don't make that) hell I've been known to make the butter too.

People make up so much crap to suit their side of the argument.
My argument is that as long as all parties are happy and healthy then why the hell does it matter how we do it.

I grew up having tea with my family. Teacups and a teapot and my dad with the bread board next to him with a choice of fillings and cheeses in the middle.
The only one in my family who has ever had weight problems is my mum but she has thyroid problems. I've never been on a diet and never been over weight. My brother is a tall skinny beanpole.
Would someone really say we did it wrong as a family?
(Well they might criticise the reading at the table, but I did learn lot from other people's books)

Rudolphstolemycarrots · 19/12/2012 14:17

My school doesn't provide school dinners at all but if they did I would consider them to be the main meal of the day.

Children don't actually need that much to eat really but we pile it on and give often them rubbish food which leads to future health problems.

We are actually designed to have our main meal in the morning, middle sized meal in the afternoon and light snack in the evening. For some reason we do it all back to front.

wordfactory · 19/12/2012 14:18

greatcongas I was addressing laqueen.

And yes, people do make up crap to defend themselves don't they? Pretending that eating home cooked food together isn't a valuable thing to do because you can't or don't wnat to do it is a classic example.

In life there are lots of valuable things that perhaps we can't do. That's fine, we shouldlearn to be kind to ourselves. Trying to devalue the activity is not the way forward.

naughtymummy · 19/12/2012 14:20

I agree wordfactory. I do also think it is important that the dcs know that sometimes because of practical or financial constraints dinner is beans on toast. I have ended relationships in the past because of unrealistic expectations around food given to men by their mothers.

GreatCongas · 19/12/2012 14:20

Thinking about it that was the night before. Last night I actually cooked because I have three of my four at home and we had pitta pockets for lunch. Dd though had had a school dinner yesterday and ate about a third of her portion of my lovingly cooked food (the ungrateful wretch Grin)

Toughasoldboots · 19/12/2012 14:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wordfactory · 19/12/2012 14:23

I think of it like being very fit.

I'm not.

I walk my dogs every day, but I could be much fitter. I can't/don't prioritise the time and energy.

That's okay. But I'm not going to try to devalue being fit. I'm not going to say it's daft or undesirable. I just think it's low on my list of proirities [shrugs].

GreatCongas · 19/12/2012 14:25

Word factory
I wasn't replying to you particularly
There's been a lot of assumptions been spouted all over te thread

JenaiMathis · 19/12/2012 14:26

We are actually designed to have our main meal in the morning, middle sized meal in the afternoon and light snack in the evening (genuine question this) - says who?

GreatCongas · 19/12/2012 14:27

And at no point have I said its not a valuable thing but its not neccessarily more valuable than other ways of doing things which is what this thread was saying

ByTheWay1 · 19/12/2012 15:04

it is strange sometimes the way all parents think that if their child has school dinners they have eaten a hot meal...

One mum in the playground at pick up told me that her DS was always sooo hungry when he got home - he must be on a growth spurt etc.... nope he just eats the meat bit of his dinner then throws the rest away.

Just because they say they eat it, does not mean that they do....

Mind you - it applies to packed lunch too.... they moved the school piano the other day and found behind it 13 sandwich squares..... someone obviously didn't like their sandwiches and sneakily got rid.... since we ask the children to take home any uneaten food, whoever made their lunch must have thought they ate it...

FellatioNelson · 19/12/2012 15:06

I have seen boys in year 7 and above at my sons' school come out at 3.20pm and empty the contents of their lunch bag (minus any crisps or chocolate) straight into the bin before skipping out to mum's car, who no doubt opens it up and thinks it has all been eaten. Hmm

Glup · 19/12/2012 15:19

So, erm, more than 40% of the students in my school have free school meals. For them and their parents, they don't have a choice. It is their main meal. I honestly don't know how some of them survive during the holidays and we do worry about it.

After the Year 11s had finished their exams in the summer, a large proportion of them continued to turn up at lunch time in their school uniform so that they could receieve their meals. Yes, that's going back to school when you don't need to because money is so tight at home that you will struggle to eat otherwise.

I know I've posted this before, but it is the most shocking indication I've seen personally of families really struggling due to the financial situation- because it didn't have the year before.

JenaiMathis · 19/12/2012 15:45

Good lord Glup, that's dreadful.

AmberSocks · 19/12/2012 15:49

i like it when we all eat together but for us its no big deal,we all spend a lot of time together(more than most as no school,i am sahm and dhis own boss so goes to work when he wants/needs to)so its not the onlytime we spend together.if they were at school an we both worked it would be important to us i think.

AmberSocks · 19/12/2012 15:53

we all eat when we are hungry here,kids have fruit first thing,eggs on toast or sausage sarnie mid morning,packed lunch as we always eat lunch out,or in a cafe whatevers there,and dinner is always home cooked unless we get a takeaway,we eat out altogether twice a week,saturday lunch and sunday night.

Mum2Luke · 19/12/2012 16:22

My son has school dinners and also has an evening meal with the family. He is 10 and always on the go, don't think he is in any danger of getting fat with what he gets both at school and at home anyway.

At the moment his elder sister who is training to be a chef, is doing the home cooking and does a balanced meal most nights with veg and protein.

He has a snack when he gets in from school - usually a ham sandwich or something, I rarely buy crisps and sweets as I'd eat them too!Xmas Grin.

There are many kids in our area of Greater Manchester whose meal at school is probably the only meal they will get all day, so many parents are struggling to make ends meet and often go without food so that their children can eat.