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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think its a bit tight when parents count a school dinner as THE main meal of the day

468 replies

MariahScarey · 16/12/2012 12:34

all other things being equal (money activities etc)

have a colleague who makes her kids have sandwiches for tea " as they eat at school"

they have money, they can cook - is this laziness?
I know they wont starve or out, but I wouldnt count a tiny school meal that is then burned off as a main meal.

USUAL DISCLAIMERS

Yes there are worse things to worry to about
YEs its none of my business
Yes I am judging

OP posts:
cory · 17/12/2012 07:08

A bit surprised that posters regard a cooked meal as more likely to contribute to the obesity problem. Personally, I wouldn't have thought of a cooked meal (say a ratatouille or a stew with plenty of winter vegetables) as containing more calories than a meal of sandwiches and crisps and soft drinks, which is what a lot of dc's friends seem to eat- I'd have thought it contained less.

And no, cooked food is not a particularly British phenomenon: Swedes (even adult ones) are far more likely to eat two cooked meals a day. They are also statistically far less obese. It's the snacking that has brought on the current British obesity problem imho.

But I fully understand if people haven't got the time or inclination to cook, and I'm sure a well balanced sandwich meal can be just as good.

FamiliesShareGerms · 17/12/2012 07:15

YABU

Even in the cold midwinter, no one really "needs" two cooked meals a day.

flippinada · 17/12/2012 07:21

Annie Grin.

exoticfruits · 17/12/2012 07:35

I can't see any point in having a school meal unless they are good ones, and if they are good ones and they have one then they don't need a second one. I can't eat 2 cooked meals a day.

samandi · 17/12/2012 10:50

I would count a cooked school dinner as a main meal, yes.

motherinferior · 17/12/2012 11:20

Cor, the accusation of 'gluttony' is so...medieval. Fabulous.

I don't really think the fact my daughters eat the same as their parents in the evening, and that is usually a quite nice meal, is an immediate sentence of type 2 diabetes and other obesity-related conditions. Nor does the fact they frequently leave for school having eaten pancakes cooked by their father.

Atthewelles · 17/12/2012 11:26

YABU. As long as children get one proper hot meal a day why does it matter if their mum or dad decide to just make sandwiches for the other meal.

Unless, of course, the school meals are absolute rubbish. But if they're proper dinners -bolognaise, casserole, shepherd's pie, chicken and mash etc - then no need to cook another dinner for them in the evening.

Original poster
MariahScarey · 17/12/2012 11:27

hiya MI
how are things? its me.

OP posts:
freddiefrog · 17/12/2012 11:35

YABU

My children generally have packed lunches, but when they have school dinner, they don't want another cooked meal in the evening.

The times they do have a dinner is because we have something on in the evening and I don't have time/it's inconvenient to cook a meal for them - for eg, DD2 has Beavers on a Friday night at 6pm, she has a school dinner, so I can chuck beans on toast at her before she goes guilt free as I know she's already had a decent meal, they have their school Christmas dinner on Thursday, which is handy as I have a meeting to go to at 5.30pm, so they can have a picky tea

poshfrock · 17/12/2012 11:38

When my DSS's mum stopped working and went on benefits he became entitled to free school meals. So he stopped having packed lunches and instead was having a cooked meal with dessert at lunchtime and the same when he returned home from school. He gained 2 1/2 stone in a year aged 7. By the time he was 10 he weighed more than me (and was several inches shorter). Now he lives with us he has a packed lunch and cooked meal in the evening and his weight is normal. My daughter has school dinners but a sandwich for her evening meal. She is 8 and doesn't need two cooked meals a day. I am not lazy. I cook dinner from scratch for my family every night ( or my husband does) but I do try and watch what my kids eat.

motherinferior · 17/12/2012 11:45

I am still baffled by the idea that 'cooked' food is somehow a Bad Thing compared to Uncooked Food. And when I get in (after a not particularly massive lunch) I want a nice meal in the evening. I cannot be arsed to give my kids sandwiches while putting on the pasta for myself.

I write about food and diet a fair bit and have never come across strict injunctions from dietitians that Cooked Food should be restricted for fear of pitching one's children into an orgy of off-the-scales gluttony

(I am OK but DD1 is poorly!)

motherinferior · 17/12/2012 11:55

Also PMSL at the idea of 'too hot to cook or eat hot food'. Tell that to my Indian mum Grin

IneedAsockamnesty · 17/12/2012 12:09

I don't think its just about cooked food, I think its more large substantial meals. Either cooked or not. And the implication that a sandwich is not enough.

Eating to much is not a good thing.

motherinferior · 17/12/2012 12:12

I know eating too much is not a good thing. (I write about food and health and stuff for a living.) But nice food is one of the main joys in life, dammit, and obsessing with keeping one's children's food intake restricted is also not a good thing.

takataka · 17/12/2012 12:21

my dcs find it difficult to eat 2 cooked meals a day...its too much for them usually

they have school dinners, as I struggle to get breakfast into them (Hmm) so they are hungry at lunch time and wont/dont eat a packed lunch...

GreatCongas · 17/12/2012 12:28

Well I am that parent and you can fuck off

Works I for us and we have happy healthy children

GreatCongas · 17/12/2012 12:30

And how's it tight when we pay for the fucking school meal

And you wouldn't dare criticise someone who couldn't afford to pay for it

PolkadotCircus · 17/12/2012 12:33

I do that why on earth would you judge?

My mother brought us up having a big healthy breakfast and 1 hot meal and 1 sandwich meal a day.It's how I feed my 3 very healthy dc.

If they have a hot school dinner they'll have w/m sandwiches,carrot sticks,yog,flapjack,fruit and milk for tea or baked beans on toast or soup and toast(no diff to sandwiches).

If they have a packed lunch they'll have a cooked meal-it's called a balanced diet.How bizarre.Hmm

PolkadotCircus · 17/12/2012 12:35

Also I have 3 dc,I'm not made of money so a cheaper sandwich tea after I've paid the best part of a tenner is it I'm afraid.

So is it not ok for dc to have packed lunches then if they must have 2 hot meals a day?Hmm

motherinferior · 17/12/2012 12:35

Actually it's those of us who force-feed our children a nice meal in the evenings who are getting it in the neck, can I please point out?

Original poster
MariahScarey · 17/12/2012 12:42

Don't tell people to Fück off.
Or you get zapped by hq

OP posts:
Muminwestlondon · 17/12/2012 12:49

In my day there was a "proper" school dinner (meat, potatoes, veg, dessert). I grew up in a very poor area of Notting Hill and that was the main meal of the day for many kids with just a sandwich/snack in the evening. Many were on free school meals and generally the whole primary school was considered so unhealthy that the school doctor said we had to have free school milk.

My kids take packed lunch, but I understand that free school meals are more of a snack nowadays than a big meal.

takataka · 17/12/2012 12:53

mum the dinners at dcs primary school are very substantial, and not at all snack like; they have roast dinners/jerk chicken ricenpeas/ chilli and tacos etc etc with a pudding (cake and custard, milk and biscuits)

is this not the same every where then? (we are in deprived area, with lots of FSMs in the school)

AmberSocks · 17/12/2012 12:55

i find this obsession with hot food wierd,what is important is the nutrients in food not whether its hot or cold.

My kids have packed lunches as they have big appetites and a school dinner wouldnt be enough for them,ive seen the portion sizes!They do have a main meal when they come in but there has been timesin the past when they have lived on things like peanut butter on toast,cheerios,yogurtsandfruit for weeks (when i had dc3 dc1 and2 were 2 and 11months so the first few weeks there wernt many hot meals unless dh cooked them!)

Jins · 17/12/2012 12:57

Food is just fuel. If everyone has had a good meal at lunchtime then I don't see the need to provide anything too substantial in the evening. If it's one of those days where everyone has grabbed lunch on the run then we have a bigger meal together.

I've checked my job description and it doesn't say anything about what I have to provide at each meal in order to prevent being judged as lazy. I don't feel the need to self validate in this way