to think asking a child's parent if that child can have a sweet is not the crime of the century?

[sausagesandwich34]

'fun' day at work today (shop, pre christmas type 'fun')

I was out and about in the shop and had some sweets

I was asking the parent's if the children would like a sweet-in uniform, very obviously worked there, not some random child catcher

most people said it's fine, 1 or 2 said no thank you, no problem, merry christmas and all that

one woman had a massive go at me sayig did I realise that children could have allergies, diabetes etc and offering children that I didn't know a sweet was totally inappropriate as I was encouraging them to talk to strangers

was I doing something wrong?

and I wasn't offering the sweet and then checking it was ok, I was asking the parent first

or was she just having a bad day?

YANBU she was probably suffering pre- Christmas stress.

As you were asking the parent first, YWNBU. she probably didnt want to have to.say no and deal with a strop, but too bad, that's parenting!

You will always get people like that when you deal with the public. You were doing nothing wrong-it is easy to say 'no thank you'. I was offered one today-it is very common!

She sounds very rude (and pretty ignorant!). You clearly DID realise that children might have allergies, diabetes, ADHD or parents that might not want them rotting their teeth. That's why you were asking the parents for permission!

She's just unpleasant. Probably not just having a bad day - that's probably her default setting, OP.

YANBU, her reaction was way OTT. You didn't offer anything to her dc in any case, you asked her if they could have it. Presumably, the parent would have said no if allergies or diabetes had been an issue. Or if she just didn't want the kid to have it.

And do people really not want their kids to talk to strangers even while they are in the company of their parents?

She was probably thrown because you didn't offer her one and was unable to deal with the surprising level of disappointment that caused?

Possibly?

What she said has a grain of truth in it as an opinion, but nothing like enough to have a strop at your festivities.

Like others have said, pre-Christmas stress for sure.

You're not alone.

I was offering sweets round at a Halloween party and yes, I was asking parents first, and I got the snottiest look from one mum, you'd think I'd offered weed or something.

It Is Not The Crime Of The Century.

My 2 year olds new catch phrase applies here; ' she's a silly bugger'!

I bet she's on MN.

YANBU.

I worked as a sales assistant and some people couldn't quite manage picking the items they needed, paying for them and then leaving.

No some had to comment on my appearance, moan about the store, etc

You asked the parents first - therefore its not a problem.

Bound to be on MN moaning about a birthday DC handing out sweets at school!

When my DD was 6 months old, I had to take her to the Dr as an emergency.
She was in the carrier sling with me.
My 3 yo DS was in the back carrier with DH
(This was 10 years ago BTW)

The GP who was excellant with children, gave my DS a Campino before he looked at DD.
DS was "Oh Thank You, nomnomnom".

I didn't think it was odd or act OTT. It was a good way to keep the other child happy

LadyBeagle got there first, my thought was 'bet she's a MNer'

Not at all unreasonable. Have a lovely xmas.

Bad day. Take no notice.

How self important. Some people don't have anything in their lives other than the ability to look down on others based on lifestyle choices.

I had this once.

I was on a ferry and there was a small boy in the set in front, watching me give DS some snacks (biscuits). He watched and watched and looked like he would like one so I tapped the Mum on the shoulder and said " Im just wondering if your little boy would like one of these as Im giving DS one. Thought I'd best check with you first rather than just giving him one"

She made a bit of a fuss, as he did seem to have a food intolerance of some sort, but didn't mention this, just said he couldnt have the ones I offered etc etc. Then she turned away and did some loud parenting telling him "You can have the SPECIAL biscuits I have here for you".

I was . I DID ask silly lady. I am aware of food intolerances and allergies and parents who just dont like their kids having biscuits. Sheesh.

Some mothers are so bloody paranoid.

There is a little girl in DD class who isn't allowed sweets, but her Mum still hands them out at parties and doesnt make a big deal. You can always just say no without the drama !

My ds has diabetes, I wouldn't have minded being asked.

Ds is currently undergoing allergy testing. A bakery were stood outside giving out samples yesterday anf I simply said "no thank you" when asked if DS wanted one. No need to be rude about it.

Yanbu

YANBU, although I suppose if a child can't have a sweet for medical reasons, it might be hard for the mum and child if the mum always has to say no and deal with the child's disappointment/tantrum? So I can see it from that point of view, but it sounds as if the mum went way OTT in her reaction. She could have made her point without having a tantrum herself.

I have a child with many severe allergies, and YANBU she was. You asked the parent first, so whats her problem?

If you offered it straight to the child YABVU this is a situation that gives ne palpatations.

Toffee - in that case it's up to the parents to make the child understand that they can't have certain foods and why. Certainly doesn't justify having a go at someone being nice