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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If I save money

31 replies

IneedAsockamnesty · 15/12/2012 21:34

For my children, the actual money is mine and I wish to save it for them until an undisclosed time ( basicly I have yet to decide) and no tax fraud ect is happening.

Am I being unreasonable to not provide any information about this at all to there other parent (I'm a lone parent) or anybody else not bank/ hmrc related if I chose not to.

Basically I think its totally up to me and nothing to do with dad but dad feels I should keep him informed.

I would never dream of asking for info like this at all.

OP posts:
cantspel · 15/12/2012 21:40

you have to disclose it if you are putting in a claim for any means tested benefits.

CajaDeLaMemoria · 15/12/2012 21:42

You don't need to tell their dad. It's none of their business.

You do need to disclose it to benefits etc, but it looks like you know that.

Original poster
IneedAsockamnesty · 15/12/2012 22:14

Cantspel.

I'm a higher rate tax payer so that's not an issue

OP posts:
CoolaYuleA · 15/12/2012 22:17

My Mum has an account in DD's name with herself as the adult signatory - I have no idea what is in there because it's nothing to do with me. DD will get it when she's 18.

What you choose to do with YOUR money is noones business but yours.

Festivedidi · 15/12/2012 22:17

No you don't need to tell their dad. Why would you? Does he tell you about all of his savings accounts?

I've never told dd1's dad anything about our financial situation, but then he's never asked.

Original poster
IneedAsockamnesty · 15/12/2012 22:30

No he tells me nothing and I would not ask, I was rather blindsided by the request but thought hang on a sec am I being a cow by saying " nothing to do with you"

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 15/12/2012 22:34

Yanbu

Nowt to do with anyone else.

AdoraJingleBells · 16/12/2012 00:08

Is it your dad, or DC's dad? Either way you don't have to tell him but I'd say DC's dad isn't BU in asking, unless you think there is an ulterior motive. Your dad has no right to ask at all.

BertieBotts · 16/12/2012 00:11

No I think that's fine. My mum had a similar account for my sister and I, we used it for things like big school trips or a computer for school work when these expenses came up and we had no spare money.

My dad also had savings books for us which we weren't aware of, which were presented to us on our 21st birthdays. In fact, I'd forgotten about that, and I am supposed to be starting a course soon which I was worrying about where to find the money from, so thank you for reminding me!

Hegsy · 16/12/2012 00:13

YANBU its nothing to do with him.

TiaMariaandEggnog · 16/12/2012 00:49

Definately not U to keep it private from their dad (or anyone else other than HMRC etc for that matter - but as you've said, that's not the issue here). It's a private account - so no-one without a legal right needs to be told about at all

Original poster
IneedAsockamnesty · 16/12/2012 00:55

Adora,

Dc's dad. The reasons why I think its nothing to do with him are, it is not currently dc's money, it is mine, I am saving it with the intention of giving it to the dc's at some stage I have yet to decide when this will be. This is solely funded by me ( no money from anywhere other than my wages). It remains mine until I chose to gift it to each dc.
The dc's know nothing of its existence and won't until I give it.
It is separate to money that is held in trust for them to receive when they reach 18.

I cannot even think of any reason for his interest in it

Him and I have no financial links or arrangements not even maintainance or pocket money for dc's

OP posts:
SantaIAmSoFuckingRock · 16/12/2012 01:02

how does he even know this account exists or that you are saving? how did the conversation come about?

TiaMariaandEggnog · 16/12/2012 01:05

I'd totally agree - assuming the account is only in your name, then it's YOUR money, which you may or may not gift to the DCs at some point in the future. Or you may decide to blow it all on shoes. Grin Point is, it's yours to do with what you wish - and no-one else's concern. Has he shared all his private financial info with you? No? thought not!!

ProtegeMoi · 16/12/2012 01:08

Yep nothing to do with him.

I have accounts for my children and their father asked about them I would happily tell him the balance but only because the maintenance he pays goes straight in there each month.

If this is your money then it's your business.

Original poster
IneedAsockamnesty · 16/12/2012 01:19

He out right asked if I was saving any for dc's in either my name or theirs.

Worded just like that.

OP posts:
SantaIAmSoFuckingRock · 16/12/2012 01:22

nosey git. what was his reason for wanting to know? was he trying to see whether he should be doing it aswell or do you think he might be going to ask you for money?

StuntGirl · 16/12/2012 01:24

I'd have told him it was none of his business frankly.

sashh · 16/12/2012 02:02

If you are a higher rate tax payer then it might be better to have the money in the children's name, they are not higher rate taxpayers so wold get more interest.

Actually it would probably be best in an ISA or for you to start a pension for them.

WeAreEternal · 16/12/2012 02:21

Why would he want to know, or think he had any right to know?

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 16/12/2012 02:25

Why do you want to know that? is the best comeback. Puts him on the spot.

bradywasmyfavouritewiseman · 16/12/2012 07:47

None of his business.

There maybe occasion to declare it legally. But probably not in your situation.

But no its not of his business and I am now desperate to know why he thinks its ok to ask that.

EuroShagmore · 16/12/2012 07:55

I can't see why it is his business. But if the account was in the child's name, I believe the interest would be tax free. That always used to be the case anyway. At the moment when interest is peanuts that probably doesn't make much difference unless the sum involved is huge, but it might if interest rates become high in future.

Original poster
IneedAsockamnesty · 16/12/2012 13:27

I'm afraid I was not especially grown up or clever when he asked I just said,

Mind your own, he then said he had a right to know.

I'm certain he has no intention of saving himself. It's not a huge amount of money, only about £80 for each year they have been in the world.

And I'm almost certain he had less than honest reasons for asking but just can't think what.

OP posts:
TrillsCarolsOutOfTune · 16/12/2012 13:30

It is no business of anyone else's whether you are saving money and what you intend to do with your savings.