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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Which one of us is being unreasonable........or are we both at fault?

38 replies

Earlybird · 14/12/2012 12:58

I am friendly with our neighbour next door. We help each other out in a neighbourly fashion (collect parcels, etc), but do not socialise together.

Neighbour has a very successful decorating business. He and his team have done work for me in the past. For big jobs, we are more formal and he gives an estimate. For smaller jobs, we don't bother with that formality.

His team did several jobs for me a few weeks ago - I thought they were 'smallish' because they didn't take a long time (a few hours each), and we never discussed price. I was floored to receive a bill that was 2-3x more than I imagined (my mental estimate was an educated guess based on his past work/invoices).

I queried the bill with his wife, who does his accounting. She told me that mostly he gives me a discounted 'mates rate', but was not able to do so on these jobs (no reason given). He never told me that this would be a 'client rate' job.

I have had the bill a week as of today, and his wife sent me an email last night asking if I could pay today.

While I am hugely grateful for what he has done in the past, and understand that he might not be able to do it every time, I feel he should have spoken to me about it upfront.

If he is going to treat me as a mate, then I am happy to make every attempt to pay much more quickly than usual. But, if treats me as a client (especially without clarifying this and explaining why), then I expect to be able to treat this as a normal bill and take up to 30 days to pay it. IMO, he can't have it both ways.

So, who is being unreasonable?

BTW, I am posting this and going out for the rest of the day so will not respond until later.

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 14/12/2012 13:05

YABU to get any work done without agreeing a price. Unless you are totally in the know what looks like a small job could be a lot bigger.

However, he ISBU as he should know it is better to always give a price.

I say this as the wife of a decorator - he never does anything at all, no matter how small, without giving a written quote.

TheSecretSantaDNCOP · 14/12/2012 13:06

So he's done work, you didn't ask for a quote or mates rates beforehand, and you think he's being unreasonable...

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 14/12/2012 13:07

...and YA also being U for always expecting "mates rates"...you don't even socialise together. It's his living, he should charge you what he charges everyone else.

squeakytoy · 14/12/2012 13:08

"But, if treats me as a client (especially without clarifying this and explaining why), then I expect to be able to treat this as a normal bill and take up to 30 days to pay it"

Why would you want to do that though? The work has been done, and the materials will have been charge to him.

Would you expect to go to Tesco and say "pay you in 30 days" ???

YABU not to have agreed a price before you instructed them to do the work.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 14/12/2012 13:08

..and sorry but why take 30 days to pay him? He has done the work...pay the man for god sake! This really pisses me off when people (not many) do this to DH.....it's not like you would go to Tesco is it and say thanks for my shopping, I'll pay you in 30!!!! He is a builder, not an internation company so pay him!

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 14/12/2012 13:09

sorry - total x post with Squeaky!

squeakytoy · 14/12/2012 13:09

:) snap!

squeakytoy · 14/12/2012 13:10

and we get this done to us too, and it pisses me off no end.. we make it very clear now that work gets paid on completion of the job, on the day we are there.. not a month later!

quoteunquote · 14/12/2012 13:12

I don't think he being unreasonable, work done, needs to be paid for.

ChristmasJubilee · 14/12/2012 13:18

Pay the bill promptly and let it be a lesson learned.

Narked · 14/12/2012 13:19

You got the work done without a quote. I can see why you thought it would be ok, but you know that's not a sensible way to do things. And I can see why you're annoyed about it, but taking 30 days might make things rather difficult as these people are your neighbours.

I would say that you're going to have to wait to pay it within the next week or two, as it was unexpectedly high. Business invoices do allow somewhere between 14 and 30 days for payment usually. And don't use him or his team again.

PumpkinPositive · 14/12/2012 13:20

Pay it, and get him to give you a quote beforehand in future.

MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour · 14/12/2012 13:22

I think you are the one being unreasonable

TrillsCarolsOutOfTune · 14/12/2012 13:24

I think you were both being unreasonable - you to allow the work to be done and him to do the work - without having agreed the price and terms beforehand.

PumpkinPositive · 14/12/2012 13:24

And don't use him or his team again.

Why not? Sounds as if its worked out well for her in the past.

I'm a little surprised his wife didnt offer an explanation for why mates rates didnt apply on this occasion though.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 14/12/2012 13:26

Business invoices do allow somewhere between 14 and 30 days for payment usually. And don't use him or his team again

So if you had a plumber in to unblock your loo or something would you say thanks, I will pay you in 30?

I doubt he will want to work for her again to be honest, she will now have to find someone she doesn't know and might be a complete cowboy who will probably charge her a lot more......

Still, people live and learn.

busyboysmum · 14/12/2012 13:30

YABU - it's nearly Christmas, pay the man for the work he has done, it's his living. Hubby is a landscaper and we would never expect to have to wait 30 days for people to pay us, they always settle up on the day he finishes the job.

Chandon · 14/12/2012 13:31

Sorry, don t know if this is a reverse aibu, but in any case, it was your mistake for not checking the price, and you could even feel a bit humbled for having been charged a mate's rate for all the previous work.

BalloonSlayer · 14/12/2012 13:31

I think you need to pay it as soon as possible.

It sounds like they are a bit strapped for cash at the moment.

On the other hand, they could be so successful they don't need little jobs to keep them going and are no longer interested in doing little jobs for mates rates.

Either way I think you need to chalk it up to experience and use someone else next time.

(BTW have you ever wondered if it's the wife who doesn't like him doing jobs for the neighbouring laydeez and has jacked the price up to discourage you and he knows nothing about it. Maybe she imagines you standing there in your negligee Carry On style simpering "and is there anything else I can get you?")

CanIHaveAPetGiraffePlease · 14/12/2012 13:39

I'd expect to pay on completion of work. Rather odd to leave it, no wonder they're reminding you!!

Fakebook · 14/12/2012 13:43

Maybe she imagines you standing there in your negligee Carry On style simpering "and is there anything else I can get you?"

I'm sure OP must be a very fine looking lady, but... EEEEWWWW!!

Allergictoironing · 14/12/2012 13:46

Several jobs "only" taking a few hours each? It's gone from doing the odd favour for a neighbour to a significant amount of work. Odd favour for a neighbour = mates rates, significant amount of work = professional rates in my mind. Expecting to have all your work done at the cheap rate is taking the piss.
He has a team who need to be paid with no reason why they should get a discount in their wage for HIS neighbour, a team who would either not be being paid or could be working on a commercially rated job.

SugaricePlumFairy · 14/12/2012 13:46

Pay the money you owe today.

For future estimates get it in writing first to avoid this kind of misunderstanding.

Catsdontcare · 14/12/2012 13:50

Maybe he feels taken advantage of and can longer justify all these jobs at mates rates.

You should have asked beforehand. So Yabu. Oh and quite petty and spiteful to wait 30 days just because you can as some kind of pay back for not doing the work cut price.

supadupapupascupa · 14/12/2012 13:59

Sorry op but i agree with the others. It was your mistake. He should have quoted you but its your responsibility to make sure you know what you are having to pay beforehand. Pay the bill and let it go..........lesson learned.