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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

In thinking 'that table was MINE!'

70 replies

LifeIsButtercream · 13/12/2012 18:09

I think I might need some chocolate-based PMT remedy...........

I went alone to a cafe in town this morning - not lunchtime but the small cafe was full apart from one remaining table, I was at the till ordering and juggling 400 bags of Christmas shopping when I heard the cafe door go. Two ladies came in, I paid and picked up my tray, but when I turned around one of the ladies had sat at the table while her friend/daughter/something-or-other went up to order, and left me standing there in the middle of the cafe weilding a tray of coffee and cake with nowhere to go.

I ended up standing at the end of the counter-y bit where you get knives/forks/spoons/sugar/ketchup/whatnot necking coffee until someone left their table while occasionally giving glaring looks to the table THEIVES

Rant over - I feel better for that!

OP posts:

Rudolphstolemycarrots · 13/12/2012 19:09

The same goes for small children, safer that they are seated then wondering around the cafe with hot drinks and adults tripping over them.

exoticfruits · 13/12/2012 19:11

This thread will go on for 20 pages btw.

It will indeed! And no one will change their mind or alter their behaviour.
I can't see it is a problem-if you are with someone you can get a table first-if you are on your own you can sit anywhere.

The 2 women came in to be sociable and they needed a table together-you went in to eat and could sit with someone else on their own. I have never found anyone objecting if I ask to use a spare seat on their table.

exoticfruits · 13/12/2012 19:12

The small children should most definitely be put in a seat first.

Sirzy · 13/12/2012 19:15

Sugarrice

Some will say it is, most will agree that it is actually the sensible thing to do!

BigShinyBaubles · 13/12/2012 19:21

I always save a table if Im out with other people and I will continue to do so.

CaliforniaSucksSnowballs · 13/12/2012 19:22

Until I was back in UK visiting a year or so back I had never come across table hoarders and not having anywhere to sit down with my coffee.
But out shopping with my Mum (who can be a cheeky beggar some days) I found us sitting with all kinds of strangers in coffee shops, she'd invite wanderers with a tray to sit with us and we would take empty chairs at others tables without a second glance. I really did enjoy this we sat and chatted with some really nice people who were complete strangers. Here they'd have thought you were crazy and shoot you (thats my Dh's explanation)

jinglebellyalltheway · 13/12/2012 19:22

Rudolf surely the 3 or 6 people can count, and can look to see how many people are on front of them in the que Vs how many seats there are first, and if the sums don't add up, wait or go elsewhere, don't take seats from someone who is about to be handed their tray!

jinglebellyalltheway · 13/12/2012 19:24

and I DO seat my toddler, but only after I count the amt of people ahead at the counter Vs amt of tables, and it rarely needs two hands people, it's not difficult so long as you can count to, usually max of 10!

EllenParsons · 13/12/2012 19:26

I think you should have put your coat or bags down on the table and since you didn't mark the table in any way, it was free and the ladies can't be blamed for sitting at an empty table. Annoying for you though, yes!

Sirzy · 13/12/2012 19:27

How are you supposed to guess how many tables the people in the queue need if everyone has to stand and queue?

and its much easier for one person to find a seat than a group of 6!

TidyDancer · 13/12/2012 19:36

If you're going into a pratically empty restaurant then I think it's okay to table save. If there's only a few tables left and a number of people at the counter, it's not okay. The people ahead in the queue take priority, and newcomers should not overtake them by virtue of the fact that they have an extra person with them to table save.

It's really irritating when people leave their children at tables to save them because those who were entitled to the table first will rarely feel like they can just sit with a random child alone (yes, I do remember that thread).

MrsLyman · 13/12/2012 19:36

This is why I tend to prefer cafes where they serve you at the table.

Aboutlastnight · 13/12/2012 19:38

I have stood waiting for a table with three small children and a tray of food while fat middle aged people 'saved' tables for their friends.

Pigs

VivaLeBeaver · 13/12/2012 19:41

What does their BMI have to do with it? Nice attitude.

PumpkinPositive · 13/12/2012 19:43

My view on this matter would depend entirely on which side of the table I was on.

exoticfruits · 13/12/2012 19:45

I wouldn't stand waiting with 3 small DCs-there is no way I would even contemplate getting them food or drink without the table. I used to strap the baby in a high chair-sit the toddler down with something to do and then queue.

PumpkinPositive · 13/12/2012 19:55

I have stood waiting for a table with three small children and a tray of food while fat middle aged people 'saved' tables for their friends.
Pigs

Do you think their manners being inversely proportionate to their weight is connected?

AnnaRack · 13/12/2012 19:57

I would have saved a seat before ordeeing. Not the whole table, just one seat. I cant understand why everyone doesnt do this? On the other hand, if i had bagsied the table first and someone was left without a seat i would have let them share my table. It's only good manners.

Aboutlastnight · 13/12/2012 20:00

I was on my own with them in Pret and I don't like leaving them as they will get into trouble/ annoy other customers.

I get fed up with mumsnet reflex ' people with children are so entitled when actually I see so many other people more entitled and selfish - thoughtless and able to sit alone at a table for four on their iPads while I stand with my children.

ilovesooty · 13/12/2012 20:07

I have stood waiting for a table with three small children and a tray of food while fat middle aged people 'saved' tables for their friends

I don't see why their age is relevant either.

schoolgovernor · 13/12/2012 20:16

I bagged the table!
I have chronic pain in my knees and can only stand or walk for a limited amount of time before I have to rest. My friend and I stopped for our lunch and so that I could get a drink to take my medication.

BluelightsAndSirens · 13/12/2012 20:25

facebook did you mean to sound so rude?

MrsMerryMeeple · 13/12/2012 20:28

The theory "you should count the number of people in the queue and work out if there is a spare table for you" has several flaws.

It only works if EVERYONE entering the venue follows that theory. Otherwise you join the queue, assuming that the third (or whatever number) free table is yours, and the person/group coming in behind you takes it.

How are you supposed to know if the person waiting in the line is alone and wants a table, or is going to join someone sitting at another table? And are the people in line together or alone? Should you really assume that because there are three people in line, and only three tables left, you should walk out again?

This theory only works if you can actually see all the tables fromth e front of the cafe, which is not always, or even often, the case.

Comparisons to Burger King etc don't really work. The social conventions there are a bit different. And I'd be scared my coat would be stolen if I left it unattended on a chair in a fast food joint...

I'm on the side of those who find a space to sit before ordering, unless there is a sign up asking you not to (and I get annoyed by those places that make everyone in a group wait at the counter before ordering, not allowing those with companyto rest their weary legs and get out of the way. After all, half the time I go into a cafe, it's because I want the chance to sit down, and I buy a drink as a fee for using their chairs!)

MrsMerryMeeple · 13/12/2012 20:30

Though I do think it depends on the timing. If you can see someone with a tray or a drink heading for a free table, it is v bad manners to grab it before them...

TidyDancer · 13/12/2012 20:33

Fakebook may have been harsh, but (s)he wasn't actually wrong....

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