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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I check OH's ID???? TMI ALERT!!!

37 replies

charlieandthechocolatecake · 12/12/2012 22:25

So....I am sitting in OH's office mumsnetting while hes on the computer. I am reading an old thread about how to successfully give a blow job. One suggestion was to have a mouthful of a fizzy drink...

Me: apparantly, if I have a fizzy drink in my mouth when I give you a blow job, it will feel really good!

OH: (frowning) we can try it...(brief pause)...but I don't want to catch an STI.

WTF?

Biscuit
OP posts:
Original poster
charlieandthechocolatecake · 12/12/2012 22:29

He says he's 23...we have a 4 month old DS.

I now believe he can be no older than 13.

I have been living a lie.

OP posts:
DoingitOnTheRoofTopWithSanta · 12/12/2012 22:34

WTH?

DoingitOnTheRoofTopWithSanta · 12/12/2012 22:35

Oh my god I once spilt some coke on my chair..what if some got in? Best get myself checked out!

KnittingChristmas · 12/12/2012 22:37
Confused
CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 12/12/2012 22:38
Hmm If he tells you that you can't get pregnant if you have sex standing up, RUN! For the hills! Grin
Binfullofgibletsonthe26th · 12/12/2012 22:39

Is that a Soda Transmitted Irritation he's referring to?

EverythingsDozy · 12/12/2012 22:40

Binfull Grin

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 12/12/2012 22:40

Oh god. AIBU is really confusing tonight. Does oh think that you have an STI or does he fear that fizzy drinks somehow cause STIs?

Original poster
charlieandthechocolatecake · 12/12/2012 22:44

It gets worse. He reckons the 'quality control' people spit in the drinks...hence catching an STI through sexual contact with it.

I don't understand. He is otherwise extremely intelligent...

OP posts:
Original poster
charlieandthechocolatecake · 12/12/2012 22:46

binfull I'd rather he thought that than the nonsense he's come out with!

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 12/12/2012 22:46

so he never drinks any fizzy drink then??? lol!

hhhhhhh · 12/12/2012 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
charlieandthechocolatecake · 12/12/2012 22:49

He does squeaky but you don't catch STI's through drinking them do you? (standing in OH's shoes)

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 12/12/2012 22:49

okaaaayyyyy.... Grin

RacHoHoHog · 12/12/2012 22:53

I thought he had got confused with a uti but no, your other posts confirm that your dp is actually a bit dippy!

PommePoire · 12/12/2012 22:53

Riiiight. Suggest you anoint your fanjo in Tango as gentle introduction to the idea that exposing your genitalia to fizzy drinks is not a guaranteed outing to the GUM?

stifnstav · 12/12/2012 22:55

So the STI in the pop goes through his nob?

MaryChristmaZEverybody · 12/12/2012 22:56

Is he my fourteen year old son?

He has been watching the American version of The Inbetweeners, and they are at about this level of intelligence, I think Xmas Confused

tethersjinglebellend · 12/12/2012 22:58

Sticky Todger Irritation I reckon, binfull...

PommePoire · 12/12/2012 22:58

Yeah, stifnstav, that seems to be his logic, but the OP's having it in her mouth (and the rest of the population drinking it) causes no sexual health problems.

ecclesvet · 12/12/2012 23:01

Maybe he means UTI? Although I've no idea if that would make any more sense...

midori1999 · 12/12/2012 23:04

I don't know what to say, but Grin

wewereherefirst · 12/12/2012 23:08

Grin Would he prefer champers? People surely don't spit in that!

CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 12/12/2012 23:09

OH NO! French people crush the grapes with their feet! He might catch Verrucas! Shock

cheekybaubles · 12/12/2012 23:14

Don't have a poke with a mouthful of coke, stick to tizer its safer and wiser...