To be narked that I was asked by the shop assistant to let someone else go ahead of me in the queue at the local co-op...

[Needingsomeadvice]

...so that he could 'get to work'?

I am not sure if I as being unreasonable to feel this way. I had dropped my DC off at school and had my other young DC with me in the pushchair. We had run out of basics that morning (due to DP eating them late at night ) such as bread, butter, milk etc) and so I had had to prioritise giving DS his weetabix with the last of the milk and make his sandwich with the one remaining slice of bread. I then took DS to school and went straight to the coop for said basic things. Neither myself nor DD had had a proper breakfast, just a banana and a drink of water each to tide us over, and I hadn't had my coffee (which is why I am asking if IWBU). Anyway, the plan was to get home and make proper breakfast for us before heading back out again on various errands.

When I reached the counter and put down my basket, the shop assistant nodded at the man behind me and said to me "Can I just serve this man behind you first luv, because he has got to go to work?" I was a bit grumpy I'll admit, and gave her a bit of an incredulous kind of look and said something along the lines of yes I would because he only had a few things, but in my head I was quite hacked off and thought she shouldn't assume that I wasn't in a hurry to get somewhere (In truth, I was...my caffeine-deprived, low blood sugar self was really wanting to get back home and eat!). She seemed sheepish, and tried to make small talk when she was serving me about my shopping. The man behind me had a can of red bull and a meal deal. He looked very apologetic. He hadn't asked to go in front - I assume he comes in on his way to work quite regularly and the woman took it upon herself to ask for him.

Now, if the man himself had asked if he could jump in front because he was running very late (for example) I would have probably agreed, but I didn't like the way that this woman was implying that my time had less value than his. I felt that she made assumptions that because I was in there at 9:15 with a toddler that I was not in a hurry perhaps, but I feel like it wasn't her call to make really. I am in there a lot as it is probably the closest convenience store that takes cards and is open long hours.

So WIBU? Was I right to feel a bit put out or was it just my lack of coffee and breakfast making me over-cranky? (Please be kind as it is my first AIBU ).

YANBU. totally agree with Solid and Hackmum.

And who knew that only incidents of earth shattering significance/opportunities for judginess should be posted on AIBU

Thanks blackeyedsusan for the .
Gingerodgers, if you don't think much of my situation why bother to post?! Yes it is fairly insignificant but then this is a talk forum, it doesn't have to be earth shattering! ?

Crossed posts Thelightpassenger .

YANBU but no biggie.

Wouldn't bother me. If I had to get somewhere then I'd say so, and politely refuse. If I didn't, I'd happily let him go in front. If I see someone in the queue looking edgily at their watch I'll often offer anyway.

I'm sure it's been said but I'll throw in my tuppence worth...

If he has asked I'd've said yes no problem. But it was none of her business and she was making a judgement on what you were doing that day without knowing faff all about you. So I would have been momentarily pissed off and had a "bloody cheek" mutter to myself.

Well, if she actually knew he was rushing for work, then it wouldn't bother me. But it would be a little weird if she didn't know... did he look in a rush? Most people are not in a mad rush to get to work, they leave plenty of time to get there.

YANBU.

YABU. (sorry)

You should have said no if you didn't want the man to jump the line. I really think it is that simply. I would have said that I was sorry but I was in a big rush too but that I would go as fast as I could. I would have smiled and been pleasant.

I have learnt to consciously pause before answering when someone puts me on the spot. Just long enough to think about how I want to respond. I probably look a bit daft but it means I don't end up rushing to agree to things I don't actually want to do.

Agree with solid. This would piss me off, it was cheeky of her to assume that as a woman with a child your time was less valuable than a man who has to get to work.

YWNBU The assistant was making sexist and unreasonable assumptions. Of course in isolation it is no biggie BUT if life were made up of a series of these seemingly trivial incidents then we would be back in the 1970's and start not giving women jobs, and/or paying them less, because men "have families to support". If it happens again then perhaps you might make a polite but firm point and ask what makes the cashier imagine that his time is more valuable than yours. We need to make a stand against everyday sexism.

Yep would have irritated me too but I'm generally an irritable person especially in the morning

Wow someone actually bothered to ask for someone else to push in!

I live in Belgium and am often in the Netherlands too. It seems to be the norm her that if anyone fancies pushing in, they simply place their food in a supermarket in front of yours and I'm sure it's because they hear me speaking English - anti-foreigner attitude is normal here unfortunately at all levels of society including officialdom. I've now got used to this nasty habit, last happened a few months ago, picked the food back up, stuffed it in their hands and shouted back in Dutch that I was there first, making sure the whole shop could hear and that person can't push in any more queues.

for future reference, take 2 slices of bread, put in a freezer bag, freeze them. Then in an emergancy situation, you can toast straight from frozen so you at least have some toast. Also buy an extra pint of milk and freeze, you can always defrost in the microwave, not great but better than nothing.

Oh and YANBU - I hate this "terribly busy man is more important than the little lady who can't possibly have anything to do with her life" (and how important can this bloke's job be if he doesn't need to be in the office before 9am?)