Smile no waving as it will ruin the performance video??!!

[AltinkumATEalltheTurkey]

Ds aged 6, very good at reporting things, has told me this morning that when they see us in the school hall they have only to smile and not wave, to their parents.

Bonkers.... Right??

YANBU. Ragwoort et al AreBU.

[grumpy]

Surely part of the learning process is to understand that when you have a job to do (the play) you focus on that and not the inner desire to do whatever you like (wave)? Clearly this isn't going to be policed with an iron fist so kids can still be kids but they're learning how to go about things properly.

This is one of the most trivial AIBUs I've ever seen Does it really matter? It's hardly killing all the joy and childishness of their performance - there will be plenty of mishaps, forgotten lines, falling off stages etc to be remembered without constant waving at the audience. I'm sure your son would not be punished for a minor slip up, like waving the moment he saw you provided it didn't distract from the rest of the performance anyway.

This is just ridiculous!

Its pretty intimidating as a small child to perform in front of anything up to 120 adults.

A small wave to reassure the child mummy and / or daddy is there in the audience is quite comforting. Plus its such a natural reaction to wave to a familiar face.

INSANITY!

I'm very baffled by why you're at all bothered by this. Surely all children are told not to wave when they're on stage in a school play.

There are no rules about waving in our school and it has never been an issue. The kids do the parent spotting when they come in, and the parents are all bobbing from side to side to try and see their child, everyone waves......etc

Then the Head announces the start of the play, everyone settles down, job done. It seems a bit OTT and unnecessary to make a point of banning waving altogether, as soon as they are "performing" then they concentrate on that.

They have been told not to wave, they havent been told to do a handstand for 30 minutes or any other difficult task. Grip needed OP.

I don't see the problem with a bit of over excited waving, I think it adds to the show. That and all the little adlibs, dropping baby Jesus etc. Their not after an Academy Award.

squeaky..., where's the relevance?
"They have been told not to wave, they havent been told to do a handstand for 30 minutes or any other difficult task. Grip needed OP. ''
Handstand? Mad much?

Of course children failing to follow instructions, forgetting their lines etc adds to the charm.

But that doesn't mean the school is wrong to be giving them lines, instructions etc.

Or should they just not bother, because anything they tell the children inhibits their spontaneity?

I don't think this is about the children's enjoyment at all; it's about the parent wanting to be acknowledged and noticed by their dc.

" it's about the parent wanting to be acknowledged and noticed by their dc."

And? So what?

Is this just the schools way of making sure parents aren't acknowledged by their own blummin kids then?

The children have been instructed to do something that is fairly easy to do.. ie not wave Rollmop. I could understand the OPs concern if the kids had been asked to do something which they might find difficult on a stage.. ie a 30 minute handstand..

That seem simple enough to understand to me, but I might just need more coffee :)

FBworry Wed 12-Dec-12 10:47:38
" it's about the parent wanting to be acknowledged and noticed by their dc."

And? So what?

Is this just the schools way of making sure parents aren't acknowledged by their own blummin kids then? "

But why does it have to happen in the middle of a show that children and teachers have worked hard to put together?

How pleased would you be if your child had worked for weeks to learn her lines and nobody listened because of the distraction caused by her mates waving and calling out to mums and aunties? Isn't exactly the kind of thing that might upset a 6yo?

And what is so hard about expecting 6yos to follow instructions quietly for a short space of time- surely they have to do it in assembly every day? They are not babies.

6 is still tiny! Let them be children.

In all the nativity plays I have seen , never has a child start shouting out in the middle.

A wave at the beginning before the play starts is just a wave. The children are just so excited and proud that on a rare occasion mum and dad are at their school during school hours.its a special time.Sad the school need to police this.

DSs Christmas play was amazing.

The kids had a ball, lots of big smiles, waves and "Look Daddy I'm a donkey!".

That's what it's all about IMO, the children enjoying themselves. Not worrying about losing golden time if they do something as natural as wave at their families.

Lats year at ds's assembly one little boy decided to wave at his parents. Fine. No problem.

They stood up and waved vigorously back-from all of 10m away. So he stood on his chair and started dancing wildly. They thought this was adorable, and said so, loudly and regularly through not only the rest of the assembly, but also through the point where the head was congratulating the class and talking to the rest of the school.

If they had given a quick wave back, and watched the other children doing their parts for the assembly, I'll bet he would have stopped after a couple of waves and we wouldn't have had most of the children's words drowned out by 3 or 4 adults squealing "look, he's on his chair. He's so sweet. Do it again for aunty..." as the teachers tried to quietly persuade him to sit down.

I could see dd looking worried as to where we were. So I waved. Her face lit up, she waved back. She maybe waved again two or three times, in the space of about 10min. Surely that's ok??

I really would love to see this being enforced. At DD's play last night there were a wonderfully huge amount of nose pickers and bum scratchers onstage, the waving a parents was totally overlooked!!

Surely that are told not I wave at all performances?? Seems crazy to me to have them all waving and searching for their parents.

I agree with the poster above who said this is more about the OPs need to wave to her DC than for the DC!

Look for parents is a discreet way, make eye contact and smile. Surely that's good enough for any DC and parent.

whois since when are 6 year olds discreet? As subtle as a brick most of them...

Look for parents is a discreet way, make eye contact and smile

FFS......

Exactly how many KS1 kids do you know who can be discreet?!

No one is saying that the kids should be waving or calling out "in the middle" of anything. And with 18 years nativity experience I have never seen that happen, apart from once when a child took a step too far and fell off the stage (unhurt)! A quick wave reassure the child that mummy is there as they can be hard to pick out in a big crowd, mummy is reassured that the child is ok and then on they go with the play. As I said above, ime they are usually concentrating too hard on remembering their lines/songs to worry about waving at anyone.

What dixied said!

I work with children from a local primary school to put on an annual musical where they provide the chorus and there are adult cast members. Children are aged from reception up and admittedly have volunteered to be involved. We talk every year about "professionalism" and acting like they do this all the time and the children love the feedback they get on how good their performances were not just from their own parents but from people they don't even know. Even very young children can rise to the challenge and take pride in having participated in something that is of a high standard. This sort of preparation ultimately makes them more confident and I see no problem with it.

I would be really embarrassed if my 5 year old waved to me from the stage. Very poor stage etiquette. I've seen it from the odd overexcited nursery child at our school but from reception onwards, no way. They're taught to perform the play, not wave to their parents.

YABU

Embarrassed!! Good grief.