9pm bedtime for nine year old dd, aibu?

[48Hours]

Apparently everyone in school gets to stay up way later than this and I should let dd too. I actually think even 9pm is a bit late for her but then what do I know!
So aib an u horrid mother?

age 10 and 8. In bed by 9, woken up at 7:50. Sometimes they go to bed earlier and are allowed to read, but if it is brownies/swimming they don't really have time. We're normally upstairs between 8 and 8:30 and I read to them for half an hour or so.

DS is eight. Screen time finishes at 8 and he tends to wander off to bed around 8:30-9:00 to read. Like ginmakesitallok I just tend to let him read as long as he wants. He wakes himself at 7 every morning, weekday and weekend so he's getting enough sleep. If he had trouble waking I'd be firmer about bed time though.

YANBU though. Your child your rules, I am sick of saying "I am not everyone else's Mother!" Apparently everyone has COD and gets to watch Family Guy , most of the class is made up of 9/10 year olds but I still don't believe them for a second.

My 10yr old goes to bed at 9pm and is up at 8pm.

My 13yr old goes to bed at 9.30am and is up at 7.45am...though sometimes he likes to get up earlier and watch TV/listen to music.

This is all a bit samey. It depends on the child surely. If they are not overtired and not causing you grief, they can stay up longer/read in bed longer??? Don't listen to me though, I have more or less always done 'on demand feeding' and 'on demand bedtimes' lol.
At the moment 13 year old is voluntarily putting himself to bed at 11pm, 11 year old is resisting a similar time and would probably benefit from 10pm. I'm working on it. I also grew up pleasing myself re bedtime within reason - I think because my parents wanted me to have quality solo time with them once my mentally handicapped sister had gone to bed.

DD 10(nearly 11) goes to bed at 7 to watch a DVD or read a book. Lights out at 9pm and is always asleep within 10 mins.

My DD went through a stage about 6 months ago saying all her class go to bed at 10,11 and later at night.
She tried going to bed later (9.45pm) for a week was a right madam to live with and ended up going back to her old routine of lights out at 9pm, even at weekends.
I often find her asleep, still holding a book around 8.30pm.

DS2 15 (nearly 16), lights out at 10pm on a school night. Then at weekends (Fri/Sat )we let him self regulate his bedtime .He's usually asleep by midnight.
He spends most of his time on his computer/xbox.

Kids need more sleep than you think. They need to do more than just 'function' which is what adults can get away with. They need to learn and grow and that takes a lot of energy. As a classroom teacher i found I could always spot the children in a class who haven't had enough sleep and their parents would confirm it if I asked. My ds would be completely exhausted if he went to bed at nine every night. He's not particularly routine bound and can cope with the occasional late night but not on a regular basis. My dd can cope on less sleep but she's noticeably happier when she's in bed on time.

If it helps any, I was just visiting my friend who have a 9yo DS, and 9pm is his weekend bedtime. On school nights he's in bed at 8:30.

dd is 11 and school nights bedtime is 8, weekend is 9. dd gets really grumpy if she's not had enough sleep.

just to say DD/DS get up at 6.50-7am Mon-Fri. DD gets up around 7.30 sat/sun.
DS is doing good if he gets up before lunch on a Sat/Sun.

My son go to bed at 9 to half past he is 11 so that's pretty genrous but he says all his friends go bed dead late!

My 9yo dd goes to bed at 730pm, lights out at 8pm. She sleeps until I wake her at 745am so obviously needs that much.

I sent my dd14 and ds12 to bed at 8:30 tonight. They wake up at 6:15. Ds has gone straight to sleep and dd reads. We discovered earlier this year they were texting or on their ipods when they were meant to be sleeping they now have to leave them in the kitchen before going to bed.

Sleep is important and sorry but I think 9pm on a school night is far too late for a 9 year old.

DD is 10 and in y6. On a school night, lights out is 9pm. She usually goes up to read before this though.

My 10 year old goes to bed at 8.30, reads till 9. So does my 12 year old. YANBU.

All children, same as all adults, are different and each require different lengths of sleep. And some children, like some adults, are early to bed and early risers, others naturally prefer later bed/later get up. And some just need less sleep than others.

So long as what you chose to do works fine for your family - then that's ok.

Never understand why some people want to question what other people chose to do though - surely we all know our own children best?

I would be guided by what time DC are waking in the morning and adjust bedtime accordingly. But your DD will still think YABU

My 9yo has lights out at 8:15.
My 12yo is 9:15.

I think you should tell your 9yo that having asked lots of parents of 9yos the bedtime you are most horrified and grateful that they brought it to your attention...
The overwhelming consensus is that 9:00 is far too late, so you're moving it to 8:30.

Crikey. That was my son posting on my behalf! I need a word.

When DD 11 yo started high school in September, we told her she could decide when to go to bed as long as she could get herself up in the morning without moaning and her school work didn't suffer. We made a suggestion that we thought 10:30 was late enough for a school night. She's a sensible girl anyway and so far it has worked well. If she's tired, she will choose to go to bed earlier.

YANBU...so many of our Year 3/4 are fit to drop by playtime (10.45am) because they are allowed to stay up beyond 9pm!!
My own children were in bed by 8pm at that age,and could read for 1/2 hour.

Sadly she is probably right that EVERYONE goes to bed later...but, as I always say, that doesn't make it right!

PlaySchool - does he know how long his friends are grounded for , for impersonating their mothers on MN??

Nice to know he thinks you are 'genrous' though

Bumble - I'd have loved parents like you!! I'd have also been a right pain in the arse as I'd never have gone to bed! Umm as you can see, self regulation doesn't work that well for me ... though can I blame my parents for that??

My 9 year old goes to bed between 8 & 9.
He would not be able to function if he was up neyond 9.

He also crashes around 7:30 at least once a week if he's had a later bedtime at weekends.
And annoyingly always up at the crack of dawn during the weekend.

When DD was 9 she was in bed at 730hrs she is 11 now and goes top her room at 830 with lights out at 9 now any later and she is a gremlin in the morning lol

It completely depends on the child as it is I need wayyyy more sleep than oh