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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

9pm bedtime for nine year old dd, aibu?

75 replies

48Hours · 11/12/2012 21:16

Apparently everyone in school gets to stay up way later than this and I should let dd too. I actually think even 9pm is a bit late for her but then what do I know!
So aib an u horrid mother?

OP posts:
Chandon · 11/12/2012 21:34

My 9 yr old , now 10, has a 9pm bedtime, which works for him. I used to send him to bed at 8, but he would often still be awake, staring at the celing at 9, so figured he could stay up a bit later.

My 8 yr old is out of sorts if his bedtime slips past 8pm, all kids are different!

LemonBreeland · 11/12/2012 21:35

DS1 is 9 and goes to bed at 8. He does go to bed at 9 on a couple of nights when he does sports, but is tired the next day going to bed that late.

VerySmallSqueak · 11/12/2012 21:35

My 8 year old needs more sleep than my 6 year old (and I think I need more sleep than both of them.)

I judge it by when they naturally wake at the weekend.If they naturally wake at the time they need to be up for school,having gone to bed at the usual time,I reckon they get enough sleep. (if that makes sense Confused )

YANB an U horrid mother.

Hobbitation · 11/12/2012 21:40

Sounds fine to me. I try and get my 7 year old to be asleep by 9 and she has to get up between 7.30 and 8, so 10.5 hours sleep is fine for her I think.

TheOriginalNutcracker · 11/12/2012 21:41

Ds is 10 and goes at 8pm on weekdays and 9:30 at weekends.

foslady · 11/12/2012 21:42

Thankyou thankyou thankyou!!!!

I thought this was just me too! dd is 9, almost 10 and is in bed by 8, lights out half past

insanityscratching · 11/12/2012 21:43

Dd9 goes to bed between 9.30 and 10 but she definitely goes to bed later than all of her friends whose bedtimes range from 7.30 to 9. Dd doesn't need a lot of sleep though.

Yama · 11/12/2012 21:46

This morning dd (7) woke up bright eyed and bushy-tailed. She was in bed by 7.30 last night.

Yesterday morning we had tears and much begging to stay in bed. She had gone to bed at around 9pm on Sunday. Nuff said.

manicinsomniac · 11/12/2012 21:49

It sounds fine to me.

My children don't really have a bedtime because we are often out until 10pm or later. So, if we're in, they go to bed as early as possible (sometimes even 7.30pm for the 10 year old!) but, often it's more like 10.30pm.

dorapeppageorgenoddy · 11/12/2012 21:54

Just adding a story from when I was young...my mother always had the 3 of us in bed so early as she had a strong belief adult time was needed...and she was done in terms of giving to us (sahm) anyway I went to boarding school at year 9 and the first night I was sooooo shocked how late we were allowed to go to bed...9.30pm and lights out at 10pm...

Now as a mother I agree with the early bedtime thing or at least bed and then reading for a time upstairs...16 month old bed at 6 and sleeps tool 7.30 (which I know is lucky) and 3 year old bed at 7...

In the future 12 and 14 year old - i hope i stick to an early bed...

NeverKnowinglySnoggedHugh · 11/12/2012 21:55

my nearly 9 year old has lights off at 8.30, in his room at 8pm.
At the weekends he is allowed to stay up till 9pm.

We increased it this year from lights off at 8pm
He sleeps until 7am so I am still reasonably confident in our decisions.

His younger brother has lights off at 7.30 and sleeps till 7 so as above it seems he still needs that level of sleep.

Blu · 11/12/2012 21:57

DS was in bed by 8 / 8.30 at 9.

NeverKnowinglySnoggedHugh · 11/12/2012 21:57

manic just being nosey.. aren't your little ones knackered at school?

ginmakesitallok · 11/12/2012 22:03

DD1 turned 9 in November - bedtime is usually before 8. She gets to read on bed, no idea what time she turns off her light Blush She sleeps til 7

manicinsomniac · 11/12/2012 22:30

They don't seem to be neverknowingly. At the ends of terms they are and I admit they could do with more sleep this week but I can't find another way around it. They've never had a routine, even as babies, so I think they cope much better than a child used to routine would if it was suddenly taken from them.

manicinsomniac · 11/12/2012 22:31

I only need 5 hours sleep to function normally so maybe they take after me!

Rudolphstolemycarrots · 11/12/2012 22:41

my 9 year old goes at 7.30 because he needs his sleep.

lisad123 · 11/12/2012 22:44

My 9'year old is in bed by 7.30 on school night and 8.30-9pm on weekend

Rudolphstolemycarrots · 11/12/2012 22:44

He went to bed at 6 the other night he was so exhausted!

FlojoHoHoHo · 11/12/2012 22:45

DS is 7 and he goes to bed between 7-7.30.
When he goes to his dads at wkends, he keeps him up til 9pm and I pay for it the next day :(

Frikadellen · 11/12/2012 22:46

My 9 year old goes to bed at 8 oclock lights out at 8 30 my 11 year old goes at 8 30 lights out at 9 (though in practice he is in bed by 8 and asleep by 8 30) oldest two almost 13 and 15 go to bed at 9 they all have school in the morning. If weekend then the older 2 can go when they wish the later two goes at 11 the latest

nappyaddict · 11/12/2012 22:48

manicinsomniac

How old are your DC? What time do they get up in the morning? Do they have to be woken in the morning or do they wake up by themselves?

Pantofino · 11/12/2012 22:50

I have a nearly 9 yo for whom bedtime is 8.30. She is NEVER asleep before 9pm. Wake up is 7am. She goes to bed later at the weekend - wants to watch Strictly etc,

valiumredhead · 11/12/2012 23:04

Ds is 11 and his bedtime in the week is 8 - 9pm depending on how tired he is. It was strict 8pm when he was 9 as he needs his sleep!

inchoccyheaven · 11/12/2012 23:11

My 10 and 12 yr olds have gone to 9pm for a few years now. They are usually asleep by 10- 10.30pm Neither really has a problem getting up for school and go to bed about 10-10.30pm at weekends and asleep anytime up to midnight.

Just do what's best for you and your child.