To be fed up of friend implying that I'm materialistic because I'm buying my DC Christmas presents...

[ZandraDee]

Since mid-November my friend has been bleating on about how she will only be knitting/crocheting some dolls dresses for her DD because 'Christmas isn't about presents and it is such a shame you (meaning me!) feel the need to spend so much money at Christmas'

Do you like her in general? If you do, then I think it would be worth clearing the air by saying something, politely and calmly, next time she does it. Otherwise (or maybe this is just me...) you may end up shouting at her when your patience finally snaps.

FWIW I don't think there is any doubt that she is wrong and silly, so don't start doubting your own practice or your children's attitudes. She is either deluding herself, or trying very hard to. Either way, you don't have to just smile politely. You can also challenge silliness politely.

Stab her.

I do like her, we usually get on very well but she has always been a little lacking in tact. I probably won't say anything because I would hate to have a fall out, its just that it drives me mad!

Just say: "It's different for you as you're lucky enough to have wider family buying for your children. For us the only presents they get are from us. Besides your lot have much more than ours to start with." And then :)

Well, there doesn't have to be a fallout if you just say it calmly. But up to you - MN is always here for a rant when it gets too much!

I just need to grow a backbone really!

Yes you do!!

Why do you feel it is ok for her to be rude to you but you aren't allowed a right of reply? If she can dole out the tactless comments she needs to be able to take any comeback.

I can't stand hypocrites and I can't stand people who can dish it out but are thin skinned when it Comes back

ZandraDee you should met my SIL she can crack a walnut with arse whilst spouting a load of crap. i'd never risk playing poker with her.

There's toys all over the place, lots of vintage stuff which she claims she played with but more appears all the time and it's shabby chic rather then 80's Gonk style

. She never shops apart from ebay, Steiner craft fayres, Dorchester & Winchester car boot (travels for the posh ones). Would never buy anything new but some how knows the stock of GLTC, Letterbox, Little Acorns.

The entire contents of this shop is present but is regarded as essentials rather than play stuff.

Your plastic, however well played with and carefully chosen is evil - think of the chinese children, her's is repurposing, rehoming, etc. and there are dozens of woven baskets of it along with a dedicated shed.

We have to sit through her lectures every year and I never call her on it because I cannot believe anyone can be so rude and deluded.

We've had the piece of string lecture , she never prompts the kids to say thank you and gifts are generally critised for not being organic/hardback/duplicates/second hand .

To be honest I think the kids are terrified of SIL's judgy pants and opting for the pinecone in public always gets praise.

It sounds like they'd get on like a house on fire Black !

I know I should be more assertive, but that has just never been me. I'm the one who ends up running the stall on the fair all day or baking all the cakes for Children in Need bake sale because everyone else says no and somehow I'm incapable of uttering that word.

Bit extreme snob I agree though

I've never met anyone IRL who only gives knitted presents to their children or who picks holes in presents because they aren't organic etc. The worst is my dad who moans about things being made in China.

Try this.

What I spend on my children is usually all they get because my relatives do not buy costly gifts. in our family the parents take responsibility for that sort of thing, its lovely that yours chose to do that and it must be so lovely for you to not have that financial pressure at Christmas.

Then smile, its not an insult so you won't need guts to say it