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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect my fanjo to ever be the same again?!

50 replies

PeppaTwig · 10/12/2012 22:28

I know it's only been 2 weeks since my beautiful girl was born and although I'm not in any pain or discomfort (anymore) from a stitched episiotomy and 2nd degree tear it doesn't feel like 'me' down there yet. Will it ever or is that wishful thinking?
My DS was a CS under GA so a totally different experience so it's all new to me!
Don't worry if you can't reassure me, I just NEED to know either way!

OP posts:

ZandraDee · 10/12/2012 22:36

My nether regions have never recovered, I have to be honest , it was the second baby that really did the worst damage though. My youngest is 2 now and its not great, but it still works thankfully

willybreeder · 10/12/2012 22:36

Yes it will! You are no doubt still swollen and tender, a good friend recommended i squirted water from a plastic bottle when I peed to stop it stinging so much!
Its good to start doing pelvic floor exercises as soon as you can, Ive recently been inspired to do more of them again from a MN'ter!

CheckpointCharlie · 10/12/2012 22:38

Yes yes yes yes yes to the pelvic floor....... Did you get advice from anyone?
Congrats on your new baby!

BadRoly · 10/12/2012 22:40

I had 3 vbacs and had 2nd degree tears with each, 3rd one being the worst. I had discomfort for a long time after the 2nd vbac.

Dc4 is now 3.5 and I would say things have been 'normal' for at least 2.5 of those years and probably more like 3.

2 weeks is very early but if things don't feel right in 6mths then get it all checked out

cbeebiesatemybrain · 10/12/2012 22:40

Don't panic, 2 weeks is very early days! It will still be swollen and bruised down there atm. I remember thinking the exact same thing after each of my dcs were born but all is fine now. If you're still worried when you get to your 6 week check you can ask your gp to take a look and make sure all is as it should be.

Congratulations

GalaxyDisaStar · 10/12/2012 22:41

I don't feel identical, but it does feel fine IYSWIM. It takes a good few weeks though, sometimes a few months, even if there is no long term damage.

ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings · 10/12/2012 22:42

I'm 4wks on from #2's birth and looking in the mirror at it recently (I was curious ) you can't really tell I'd had a baby that recently. In fact, I think it looks better than it did during pg (double ) and has started feeling much more normal. I only had a couple of stitches (I think along the scar from my DD's birth rather than trauma from this one iyswim) so that probably helps, but even after the more extensive tear from DD, I felt more normal again by the 6wk check, although not entirely. Give it time and you should be more confident about it.

MincePiesAndBaileys · 10/12/2012 22:42

Congrats on the new baby!

I remember thinking the same and tmi alert but the first time we had sex after which was about 6 weeks after giving birth, I felt so ahem, loose and huge fine below. but after a fee more weeks it felt better and sex felt good, so ime it takes a couple of months to get back to normal. Do your pelvis, keep it clean give it time.....

musttidyupBeforeSantaComes · 10/12/2012 22:44

Mine's never been the same. Sorry.
Re pelvic floor can I take the opportunity to preach? I was told to do them. I did. Apparently not well enough. 2 years after DC3 it shows.
Seeing a physio now, my episiotomy caused damage and weakness in the RHS of my pelvic floor. When they say do PFEs they don't specify just how much - you need to start at 10x10 seconds and 10 quick ones five times a day and you should be pulling it so tight that it exhausts your... erm... fanny.
Get cracking!
HTH

nickelbabylyinginamanger · 10/12/2012 22:46

it's been a year here.
still doesn't feel like mine.
but that's just cos it's baggy.
it doesn't hurt or pull anymore.
mine was an episiotomy and tear too

MsVestibule · 10/12/2012 22:51

I remember having a quick check whilst in the bath 2 weeks post DC1 and thinking "fuuuuuuuuuccccccckkkkkk!!!!!". It all seemed, er, a bit mangled. I asked my GP to check me over at my 6 week check and she reassured me that everything was fine. Six years later, I'm still not convinced it's all back to normal, but it hasn't affected me sexually at all although maybe 2 weeks post partum, that's not your primary concern.

I don't really remember any problems after DC2, but I didn't have an episiotomy with that birth.

Quodlibet · 10/12/2012 22:53

Nickel that reads like a really depressing poem. I thought it was going to rhyme at the end.

MrsKeithRichards · 10/12/2012 22:59

I was lucky to have two big babies through vaginal delivery and never needed stitches. I did tear a little but not enough to warrant stitches. I wasn't sure if it was a compliment or not when the midwife congratulated me.

Despite that I do not have a fanny like a wizards sleeve. Honest. Ask dh he'll tell you!

It's got back to normal over time, 2 weeks is nothing. See how you're feeling in another 4 weeks, it does get better.

In the meantime congratulations and enjoy your baby!

MsVestibule · 10/12/2012 23:02

Quodlibet . That actually made me laugh out loud!

FlojoHoHoHo · 10/12/2012 23:07

YABU sorry. But don't worry about your fanjo, worry about the stretch marks, the dark circles under your eyes and when u give up breast feeding and your books hit your ankles

MissCellania · 10/12/2012 23:09

Yeah, um, good luck with that. Maybe you'll be fine or unlucky like me five years later and awaiting surgery

VisualiseAHorse · 10/12/2012 23:09

Mine feels fine now (7.5 months on), I think it started to feel better after about 6/8 weeks. Although, I only suffered two 'grazes', so no stitching or anything else.

BunnyLebowski · 10/12/2012 23:09

2 weeks is too early woman!!

I was convinced my clunge was inside out and totally Mrs Mangled after having DD. A few months later everything settled down and felt ok again. Scar from stitches healed. Felt ready to have sex again.

I got away light. Everything is pretty much as before.

But honestly? The fear of injury to my body has been a factor in my decision not to have another DC.

The stories on MN of knackered pelvic floors, peeing when sneezing, problems with sex, pain/discomfort, prolapses etc have completely terrified me

apostrophethesnowman · 10/12/2012 23:43

It may never be exactly the same as before, but it will be perfectly acceptable. Honestly.

pylonic · 11/12/2012 00:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SantaFlashesHisBoobsALot · 11/12/2012 00:46

My fanjo is just fine

It takes a little while for things to snap back to normal though.

Pelvic floors, ladies. And - squeeeeeze, release. Squeeeeeeeeze, release...

CaHoHoHootz · 11/12/2012 00:57

I would make sure you are happy with the results if you tear and require stitching. It is easier to get things done sooner rather than later.

M0naLisa · 11/12/2012 01:22

Can someone in simple terms explain how to do a correct pelvic floor exercise.
I try and try and just feel like I'm squeezing my bum cheeks together :-/

It's 10 days since I had my DS3

pickledparsnip · 11/12/2012 01:22

In all honesty mine felt smaller for a while, not sure how!

ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings · 11/12/2012 03:59

M0na imagine trying to hold in a wee & a fart at the same time. Try to lift those same muscles all at once - pull them up & in. Hold for 10s. Release & relax. Repeat x10. Then do 'quick twitch' ones 10 to start).

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