AIBU to think my colleague is being ridiculous?

[matchpoint]

I work in your bog-standard office job-Monday to Friday, 9-5pm. I will be working Christmas Eve, as it is a normal working day, as will my colleagues.

One colleague is moaning to anyone who will listen about how unfaiirrrrr it is that she has to work on Christmas Eve and therefore can't spend the day with her children. Because Christmas is "all about the children!" and it's "soooo sad not spending Christmas Eve with your children".

My DH is working a 12.5 hour shift Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. (he is a nurse) and we have two young DDs. I was also a nurse (left the profession though), and am sick and tired of people thinking they have an automatic right to Christmas off because they have young children.

WIBU to tell her to go do one?

You don't necessarily in some jobs.

Health care yes. My last job, totally pointless being there. Pointless. My boss was a power trip nightmare and only ever let two people off at the same time. We had nothing to do. There were no calls.

Oh yes did I have a moan.

many people are required to work over common holiday times, that is reality. hopefully people can try arrange their own time (paid time off?) or their own personal schedules. it is a challenge for sure, but one that many have to manage.

No-one has said she's unreasonable for wanting to spend Christmas with her kids.

Constantly complaining about it is a different matter. She knew what the rules were.

If I think something is not fair,I will make sure everyone knows how I feel.

If I think something is not fair,I will make sure everyone knows how I feel

Standing up for fair treatment in the workplace is one thing. Whinging and moaning lowers morale.

oh well, I've been moaning all day at work today

I have children. But I do not believe that they give me more of a right to have a family Christmas than those without.

And who says Christmas is all about presents the children? Last I heard, it's a Christian festival celebrating the birth of Jesus.

We had to apply for the days we wanted. We can't all be off on Christmas Eve or there would be no service in place. I'm working on Christmas Eve and driving over 100 miles when I finish so I can visit my mum in her care home on Christmas Day. I shall have to stay at a hotel then drive home - I haven't anywhere to go for Christmas lunch so I doubt I'll get one. I'm back at work on 27th. If things have to happen a certain way you just get on with it. The OP's colleague is not having to work on a public holiday and I think she's BU to moan vocally.

I moan about work and I'm self employed. I moan to myself.

If you're self employed at least you're not affecting team morale!

I'm a bitch to work for. Seriously though ds nursery has decided to shut all week!

So I can't work even though I need to.

Moan moan moan.

This year I have to work Xmas eve, Boxing day and new Years Eve. I have four young children but I'm just relieved to be off for Christmas day with them. We have family coming over from the USA for Christmas but won't get to see them at all due to my shifts and not being able to travel to where they are staying

YANBU

She is moaning about working on a normal working day.

I used to work in healthcare, I also used to volunteer for on call over Xmas (job where you did oncall not worked weekends / nights) because I don't celebrate it.

The people who do have a right to complain are the ones who work 25th/26th Decembe in a year they are over the weekend, so they don't get extra pay because the bank holiday is either 23/24th or 26/27th.

I've never got any extra pay for working those days either :(

Am I your colleague ? I've been moaning about this. Not allowed to take annual leave as someone has to cover for the boss. Wouldn't think it was less bad for those without children though. My youngest is 8, and this is (probably) my last year of having a believer. I' m just disappointed I won't be able to spend the 24th getting super excited.

Let her moan. I'm sure you annoy her sometimes too. Different things matter to different people.

Nothing wrong with your collegue having a moan. I'm working Christmas day and boxing day and it sucks balls so I will be whinging and moaning about it from now until I finish on boxing day
wah wah wah

"Different things matter to different people"

Agree. People all have different days. I was actually really not bothered about working Christmas in the past as I liked to lig it up over the New Year, now I would be. Christmas Eve is more important to some people than others.

Sometimes people aren't allowed to book it off, for no good reason. Like me in previous years. Yes you have to get on with it ultimately but a good moan never hurt anybody.

I am WATCHING all you "suck it upers" ready to scream SUCK IT UP next time you fancy a moan.

Unusual, she's not being asked to work on Christmas, she's being asked to work the day before.

There are people (quite rightly) pointing out that at least she gets Christmas off - lots of jobs don't.

OP - have you asked her why she didn't book it off if she didn't want to work it? Or did she expect it as another day on top of holiday allowance?

Yeah janeatthebarre cos that is exactly what I said

Of course Christmas is more important to children than adults and for young children particularly part of the magic is the excitement of going to bed knowing you'll wake up with a stocking full of pressies. It's exciting. How unreasonable for a parent to want to share in that magic.

Not 'exactly' what you said, but somehow implied.

There's having a moan and incessant whinging about it.

Most people have to work Xmas Eve, it's the joys of working.

My DH is on a small team in a service. The team have a list as to who gets Xmas/NYE and first pick of leave dates as they can only have two off at any one time because of operational requirements.

Would OP's colleague prefer to work Xmas day instead?

If it's an office job, I assume you are off on bank holidays? So she's off at 5 on Christmas Eve, off Christmas Day and Boxing Day? That sounds like every other office job in the country. Sometimes you get to go a bit early on Christmas Eve as a sort of 'merry christmas everyone'.

Whining and moaning about this sort of thing can end badly, example:

My manager used to let everyone finish early (lunchtime ish) on Christmas Eve. There was nothing written down about it, he would just say - 'off you go, have a lovely Christmas', and the office was closed between Christmas and New Year. Well, one year, someone kicked off because they only worked part time and finished at lunchtime anyway and Christmas Even happened to fall on their half day. So since everyone else got sent home early, they shouldn't have to even come in and it just wasn't fair. They went so far as to launch an official grievance about it. The higher-ups were distinctly unimpressed with this, and all the time and meetings etc it took to hear out the grievance and decided that to avoid this happening in the future; no one would get to go home early on Christmas Eve. They also decided (although I think it was unrelated to the complaint) that the office should open between Christmas and New Year. As you can imagine, this person's colleagues were not very happy about this, and blamed him for not only not being able to go home early, but having to come in after Christmas. This happened years ago, and it still gets brought up about this time of year, every year, and this person still gets bitched and moaned about. We can and really hold a grudge in my office, it seems.

So beware bitching and moaning, the consequences can be unexpected.

janeatthebarre if you choose to take "Christmas is all about the children" as implicitly meaning that "those with children shouldn't take part in Christmas" then can I suggest you're a little over sensitive and might like to take a step back from this thread.