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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think my colleague is being ridiculous?

124 replies

matchpoint · 10/12/2012 15:54

I work in your bog-standard office job-Monday to Friday, 9-5pm. I will be working Christmas Eve, as it is a normal working day, as will my colleagues.

One colleague is moaning to anyone who will listen about how unfaiirrrrr it is that she has to work on Christmas Eve and therefore can't spend the day with her children. Because Christmas is "all about the children!" and it's "soooo sad not spending Christmas Eve with your children".

My DH is working a 12.5 hour shift Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. (he is a nurse) and we have two young DDs. I was also a nurse (left the profession though), and am sick and tired of people thinking they have an automatic right to Christmas off because they have young children.

WIBU to tell her to go do one?

OP posts:

tasmaniandevilchaser · 10/12/2012 16:30

YANBU, and I say this as a person with a small child.

In a previous job a long time ago, it was assumed, as I didn't have children at the time, that I would work Christmas and not New Years. Actually, if I had agreed to that, it would have meant sitting in my rented flat alone for any time I wasn't at work. My family lived too far away to go there after work and friends were all away with their families. It would have been the first Christmas for 6 years that I'd have spent with my family as I'd been living abroad. My colleagues with kids all lived nearby and could have gone there after work and still had time with their families.

What I'm saying (in a long winded way) is just because you have children, it does not give you automatic rights over Christmas rotas imo. Your colleague will spend time with her family in the evening, she is a whinger.

bradyismyfavouritewiseman · 10/12/2012 16:31

Its a normal working day. She has Christmas day and boxing day off.

She should suck it up but it doesn't mean she's not disappointed.

Yes she can be disappointed, but no one wants to hear it again and again.

And she will have known this for ages. Its not like Christmas is planned last minute. How can you be disappointed by something you knew was going to happen?

daddyorchipsdaddyorchips · 10/12/2012 16:32

She is BU. She should come and work for the lovely company I work for who gifted Christmas Eve off to all employees. God bless them, every one! :D

JenaiMathis · 10/12/2012 16:33

People without children at home often have a greater need to have Christmas Eve off so they can travel to be with their own family/friends.

She is being a pita and should shut up.

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 10/12/2012 16:36

For the third year in a row I have been rota'd on to work Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. I have a 1.5 hour commute each way, so have little time to join in family squabbling festivities.

We are not allowed to take holidays during that time. I don't have children but would enjoy spending time with my brother's children. I've heard one colleague is furious to be on just one of those days because she has a child and she is sure it's being done deliberately.

No, it is because there are four senior members of staff and one day each is fair.

Janeatthebarre · 10/12/2012 16:44

I can understand people not wanting to work on Christmas Eve. But I really have an issue with the attitude that people with children are somehow more 'deserving' of leave over Christmas or should have first say on when they want to take their Summer holidays etc. Most people have families that they want to see as much of as possible over the Christmas season, not just people with children.

MissedTheBusHome · 10/12/2012 16:49

Personally I hate working Christmas Eve, I do think Christmas is all about the children and I would moan incessantly if I was required to work. So flame me

Pandemoniaa · 10/12/2012 16:51

I'm always a bit surprised when people make such a big deal about working on Christmas Eve or, if it is so important to be at home, don't take annual leave. Christmas Eve is rarely the longest working day in the year after all.

Janeatthebarre · 10/12/2012 17:08

So people without children should not take part in Christmas, Missedthebus ?

MammaTJ · 10/12/2012 17:10

Care assistant here, not allowed to take AL over Christmas. I work Sunday, Tuesday and Wednesday nights, so it looks like I will finish work at 8 am on Christmas eve, sleep a little (as DP is at least off), get up and try to enjoy preparation for Christmas day. Then do Christmas day, go to work on a night shift, work Boxing day night.

She doesn't get any much sympathy from me!

I do love my job though.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 10/12/2012 17:10

I agree!! I work in an office and we are open xmas eve. My DH always moans about how bad it is I have to work xmas eve but my point is it isn't a bank holiday, it's just another day really. We go home early if we are quiet and then come back to work day after boxing day.

thekidsrule · 10/12/2012 17:13

christ its only christmas eve day

yanbu

by the 26th she will probably be moaning to go back to work

FlojoHoHoHo · 10/12/2012 17:16

YABU I don't like working Xmas eve either. I'm a nurse but I make sure I get it off every year and usually work New Year, this yr I'm lucky enough to have both. I'm guessing u don't like this colleague much, not the fact that she shouldn't moan about working Xmas eve with DCs.

poozlepants · 10/12/2012 17:17

DH always works on Christmas Eve/ Hogmanay because they do piss all and go home at 3pm at the latest but he gets paid for a full day. I think he'd rather do that that spend it with a hyper 4 year old going "Has Santa been yet" over and over.

chrismissymoomoomee · 10/12/2012 17:17

I think YABU, she isn't going and demanding the day off and causing everyone elses workload to increase. We are all entitled to a moan every now and then. I would also say the same if it was someone wanting to be alone or with their partner or other family on christmas eve too and was pissed off about working.

Are you telling me you have never moaned about going into work because you would rather be doing something else OP?

PickledInAPearTree · 10/12/2012 18:55

Allowed a little whinge surely? Unless she is taking it to annoying levels.

Every office job I've had they've normally let you go a bit early.

TheReturnOfBridezilla · 10/12/2012 19:06

Working Christmas Eve/day does suck, especially when you have children. I would always work in favour of a collegaue with children. Luckily I'm not in a job where I have to do it anymore.

scarletforyaOfficialXmasGRINCH · 10/12/2012 19:28

baublesandbaileys

Fair play to you! That's proper Xmas spirit!

OP YANBU, next time she whines ask her why she doesn't take AL!!?

cathpip · 10/12/2012 19:35

My dh would love to have xmas eve off to spend with me and our 2 dc's but he is the boss so will be last out of the office and then have to drive from London back home to North Yorkshire. He should be home just before midnight if we are lucky, so your colleague should just suck it up or take annual leave...

spoonsspoonsspoons · 10/12/2012 19:47

We normally get 3 days off at Christmas - Christmas Day, Boxing Day plus another, tied into a weekend so normally a 5 day break - great and we're very lucky. They've moved things round this year though and given us New Years Eve off instead, meaning just a two day break for Christmas. Cue lots of upset people as it makes it very difficult for people to travel to see their families for Christmas, normally it's possible as no annual leave required.

I can understand colleagues having a little whinge in these circumstances, even though obviously even two days off is more than some people have.

ddubsgirl · 10/12/2012 19:54

My working Xmas eve but I am working Boxing Day which means I miss out on spending the day with all the family but its in the contract we have to work either Boxing Day or New Year's Day cos people can't seem to live without supermarkets shut for more than a day

caramelwaffle · 10/12/2012 19:59

Christmas day is Tuesday this year and I am assuming that you have Boxing day off as a Bank holiday: She is having a whine because instead of having five days off straight it will be two days off, one day on, two days off...or perhaps she is just a whiney sort.

scurryfunge · 10/12/2012 20:08

Christmas Eve is blocked for annual leave for me because it is one of our busiest times. I have had 4 Holiday periods off in the last 16 years. Everyone want s to spend time off at Christmas but because of the nature of my job, it is unrealistic, children or no children. I wouldn't dream of expecting time off because of children.

10storeylovesong · 10/12/2012 20:15

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request

Hobbitation · 10/12/2012 20:22

I used to work with a number of people with family overseas (typically South Africa, Ireland, Australia and NZ) who always took 3 weeks off at Christmas to 'go home'. The rest of us were working between Christmas and NY, though it wasn't too bad as it was really quiet. I always worked Christmas Eve when the girls were very small, except when it fell on a day I didn't normally work. But we normally finished at 4 or even earlier so it didn't seem worth taking the day off. One office I worked in shut over Christmas until the beginning of January. DH has never had to go in over Christmas and he works for central government.

Friends of ours are managers in care homes and have to work Christmas Day and Boxing Day. My SIL used to be a nurse and quite often did nightshifts at Christmas. People in retail often have to work on Boxing Day. I think if you have a few days off at Christmas you are quite lucky.

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