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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think it is a good idea to move house while 7-8 months pg? Or would you wait until after baby arrives?

76 replies

emeraldgirl1 · 10/12/2012 14:15

Just trying to get my life in order here and would appreciate opinions!!

DH and are torn about what to do. If we moved now (well, in a few weeks time; am currently 6m pregnant with 1st baby) it would be a choice rather than a necessity. BUT there are still good reasons to do it now.

However there are also bad reasons to do it now - not the least of which is obviously the stress and also the fact that this would leave me with a brand new baby and in a brand new area.

Am in London so friends are scattered to the 4 winds across town anyway, it's not as if I have friends on my doorstep as support but nevertheless the area would be new and would be getting used to all of that (plus new home) with a new (my first) baby.

What would you do? Given that it is not an absolute necessity (eg for work or something).

Move now or move after?

OP posts:
DeckTheHallsWithBartimaeus · 10/12/2012 15:03

Move when pregnant!

We moved when DS was 4 months. We couldn't move earlier because we were selling and buying but still it was awful.

DS had reflux and couldn't be put down, I'd manage to pack half a box max over 2-3 days whilst DH was at work...but we couldn't pack in the evenings because the flat was so tiny and DS woke up at the slighest sound.

So we just had to take turns at the weekend to hold DS or pack boxes.

Then we moved. And I thought DS would be unsettled for a few days in a new place. Hah! It coincided with his 4 month sleep regression (and I'm sure the stress I felt at moving didn't help) and he just didn't sleep. I ended up getting to know our new flat really well at 3am as I paced around the floor for 2 hours with DS in the sling desperately trying to get him back to sleep...

And of course, if packing was hard enough, unpacking was just as bad, again as we couldn't put DS down. The only good thing was the flat was bigger so there wasn't the problem we'd had before of living in a tiny flat with new baby, all new baby's stuff and boxes!

YouCanBe · 10/12/2012 15:03

Definitely move before the baby comes if you can.

OscarPistoriusBitontheside · 10/12/2012 15:05

I moved at 38 weeks with baby 2 and SPD and I recommend you move before the baby arrives. When you have your new baby make sure you get out and attend groups. That way you'll make new friends in your position.

GrimAndHumourlessAndEven · 10/12/2012 15:12

We moved at 8 months pg with a toddler, it was fine

It was winter so we didn't start regular groups til spring, bad weather and wee ones didn't mix well. We frequented library, nearby park etc

MrsSantasCervix · 10/12/2012 15:15

I moved the day before I gave birth to dd, I was six days overdue, I would not reccomend that but it was just the way it happened, it was move then or wait another few months for something to come up. I'm glad I did it, but would never do it again. Do it now while you haven't got a baby to look after therefore not allowing you to straighten up the house and unpack everything.

SantaWearsGreen · 10/12/2012 15:17

I moved during my first two pregnancies. I moved twice during the first! And during the second moved when I was seven months pg.

Much better moving then than with a small baby. At least when you are pg there is just yourself to think about so you don't have a small baby to feed/change/cuddle whilst you are trying to do all the moving and sorting! Its far better to get all settled and sorted before baby is here. Once baby is here you also will be more reluctant to move because its so much effort and so exhausting!

I wouldn't move in the ninth month for obvious reasons but before then yes, not a problem.

butisthismyname · 10/12/2012 15:18

We moved a week before ds was born Shock It was quite frightening but dh and the removals men got it all done super speedily as they were terrified there may be a birth on uncarpeted and unfurnished rooms.. I just sat around looking pretty fat Grin

freddiefrog · 10/12/2012 15:21

I'd definately do it now.

We moved with 8 week old DD1 and it was awful

LDNmummy · 10/12/2012 15:25

I moved with a six month old, do it now and save yourself a lot of stress.

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat · 10/12/2012 16:03

I moved a week before DD was born, I'm glad I did. We were mostly settled in before she arrived.

One tip though, do not try to put together any bedroom furniture alone. I got stuck between the bed and the wardrobe because of my huge bump.

It took a while to get out Blush

10outof10 · 10/12/2012 16:09

I moved out of London when I was 36 weeks pregnant with first baby. Let me tell you, those removal men work bloody quickly when they see a very pregnant lady having Braxton Hicks Contractions in her new kitchen! Joined a prenatal group and I've never looked back.

Phineyj · 10/12/2012 16:18

At my NCT group, out of 8 couples we were the only one that wasn't either in the process of moving or had just moved-- and my midwife says she can nearly always identify the right house for the first appointment because of scaffolding or removal van - draw your own conclusions! I don't think NCT groups are all that cliquey - I don't know anyone with new babies other than through the group anyway, despite having lived in the area for 10 years, as mostly I've worked quite far away. Go for it, and book the packing service as as well as the movers if you can.

katiecubs · 10/12/2012 16:22

I move at 36 weeks and it was fine - however I can 't even begin to imagine how much more difficult it would be with a newborn!

TaurielTest · 10/12/2012 16:25

I have done both - moved from London flat to rented flat in new town when DS1 was 4 months. Then moved from rented flat to new house in another new town when 7 months pg with DS2.

On the social side, I found it easy enough to make new friends with after moving with DS1 by accessing groups, NCT, getting health visitor to tell me where all the mums with new babies hung out ... so don't worry too much about that aspect, you will still find people even if you don't move until afterwards.

But on balance, it was way way easier to move when pregnant - and I say this as someone who's quite physically incapacitated by PGP when pregnant. Especially if you know a post-birth move is imminent, it might be hard to nest in preparation.

Original poster
emeraldgirl1 · 10/12/2012 16:35

Right - on the basis of what all you lovely MNers have said, I need to sit DH down with a glass of wine tonight and tell him we need to get looking for a rental, pronto!!
Xmas is really inconvenient timing, tbh, it feels like we can't really do too much on the rental/selling front now so close to Xmas and then I worry that once the New Year comes we won't have left ourselves enough time - i'll be 7 months exactly on Xmas Day...

OP posts:
Callmecordelia · 10/12/2012 16:37

They're much easier to look after on the inside.... Grin

Original poster
emeraldgirl1 · 10/12/2012 16:38

Callmecordelia - that's a good way of putting it!!!

OP posts:
DublinMammy · 10/12/2012 16:40

Move now, much easier to do while preggers rather than with new-born....

Chandon · 10/12/2012 16:45

Move before.

It is amazing how easy it is to meet new people with a babe or tot in tow!

Good luck

MissedTheBusHome · 10/12/2012 16:47

I'd move now.

I have moved when 9mths pregnant - DC2 arrived 5 days later.

Again with a 20 mth old and 6mth old.

3 weeks after DC3 was born and again when DC4 was 11 days old.

That first move was definitely the easiest.

Original poster
emeraldgirl1 · 10/12/2012 16:55

Of course what is only now occurring to me (because I am a bit dim, or because my brain is addled with hormones) is that we will probably end up moving AGAIN with the baby on the assumption that we do find a place to buy after 6 months or so renting... that would put the baby at about 4 months old anyway!!! So I would be moving when pg and then again with a small baby...

Oh dear. Feel like I've really buggered this one up.

If we could have afforded to move earlier, we would/should (not that it's exactly affordable now, it's just becoming a necessity for more space!)

OP posts:
pleasestoptalking · 10/12/2012 17:31

I moved when 7 months pregnant and had 2 year old twins. We moved to completely new area and I knew only one family. I did a lot of research before we moved to find local children's centres / baby groups etc and started going as soon as we moved to the area. It was a good move. It wasn't easy but I don't think it would have been any easier to do it with a tiny baby.

Do your research and then move and be as proactive as you can to meet people / find groups you can go to as soon as you've had the baby etc and you'll be fine.

Good luck!

nannyl · 10/12/2012 18:25

I have just moved house with a baby

it would have been MUCH easier to do it pregnant!

and when you have your baby, no matter where you live you will find yourself meeting "local" mummies.
Id say thats easier to do when tiny, rather than toddlers too!

PolterGoose · 10/12/2012 19:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BatCave · 10/12/2012 19:26

Definitely move before baby is here! You'll be able to settle in in time to enjoy your baby without the stress of having to move.

We just recently moved when I was 39 weeks pregnant. We also had a homebirth planned Xmas Grin

I then furiously got the new place as sorted as possible before baby arrived and I'm so glad we did.

Of course there is the added bonus that you can't do sod all except boss people about, rest, make bacon butties and tea, rest a bit more....