Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think it is a good idea to move house while 7-8 months pg? Or would you wait until after baby arrives?

76 replies

emeraldgirl1 · 10/12/2012 14:15

Just trying to get my life in order here and would appreciate opinions!!

DH and are torn about what to do. If we moved now (well, in a few weeks time; am currently 6m pregnant with 1st baby) it would be a choice rather than a necessity. BUT there are still good reasons to do it now.

However there are also bad reasons to do it now - not the least of which is obviously the stress and also the fact that this would leave me with a brand new baby and in a brand new area.

Am in London so friends are scattered to the 4 winds across town anyway, it's not as if I have friends on my doorstep as support but nevertheless the area would be new and would be getting used to all of that (plus new home) with a new (my first) baby.

What would you do? Given that it is not an absolute necessity (eg for work or something).

Move now or move after?

OP posts:
McChristmasPants2012 · 10/12/2012 14:19

i would move before the baby is born.

i moved with a 4 month old baby and with lack of sleep and the stress of moving it was a nightmare.

you will have 1-2 months to sort the house out before the baby is born.

5madthings · 10/12/2012 14:19

I would rather move when preg than with a new baby. I have done both and providing you are having a straifhtfirward preg with no.complications then its easier to move when pregnant :)

DeWe · 10/12/2012 14:20

We moved when I was 37 weeks with dd1. I think it was easier to move with her inside me, and then we could do things like getting her room ready etc, rather than having to get the energy up afterwards. And that's despite me not doing pregnancy well, adn I love the newborn baby stage.

Original poster
emeraldgirl1 · 10/12/2012 14:21

V interesting thanks - this was my gut reaction (move when pg) but have been amazed by EVERYONE i know in RL saying I am mad to think about moving when pg and that we should wait...

OP posts:
BigShinyBaubles · 10/12/2012 14:21

I would move before the baby came. At least you'll be settled (and unpacked!)

quesadilla · 10/12/2012 14:21

Depends on how badly you need to move and how much of the heavy lifting (both literally and metaphorically) youre DH can do. If he can handle most of it then I'd say yes probably better to get it out of the way. I put off selling my flat when I was PG and didn't get around to doing it until DD was over 18 months and we spent that time with three of us in a one-bed flat and if I had my time again I would have got it out of the way first.

On the other hand, obviously you don't want to be in a really hairy situation when your due date is looming with the prospect of a house/flat falling through and especially don't want to be lugging boxes about in your condition.

Also you don't say if you're planning to buy or rent? If you're renting its a lot easier, obviously. Buying its much harder to predict when you'll complete etc. If you're planning to embark on a whole buying/selling project probably is better to wait until after the baby is born. If its relatively simple and you can get it out of the way easily do it....

Original poster
emeraldgirl1 · 10/12/2012 14:22

Oops, shoudl add we would be moving from our own flat into a rented place, not our 'own' house IYSWIM, while we keep looking for a place to buy. So moving pre-baby doesn't unfortunately come with the advantage of being able to get a room all lovely and ready for baby...

OP posts:
Samvet · 10/12/2012 14:22

Defo move when pregnant. I moved when baby 7 weeks and it was hell. Tired, stressed, plus move = bad plan! Just 6m preg you will have time to sort house out and scope out area. You can go to bumps and babies type things or do an NCT course in new area and meet mums with new babies too.

Original poster
emeraldgirl1 · 10/12/2012 14:23

Thanks quesdilla - X-posted with you!! Yes, we will be renting...

OP posts:
Amytheflag · 10/12/2012 14:24

I would move before too! I moved when I was 6 months and just got other people to do the lifting while I was the management haha! Could not have imagined doing it after baby was born now I've seen how tired I was! Plus you get to do all the new baby stuff in your new area :D

Original poster
emeraldgirl1 · 10/12/2012 14:24

Wow I am honestly v surprised (though pleased!) to hear all the 'move now' responses... I wonder why everyone I know is telling me to wait!!! My gut reaction is that I would rather do it now but DH has asked his friends and colleagues and has made me doubt myself as they all (like my friends) said we should wait.

OP posts:
KitCat26 · 10/12/2012 14:25

I would also move now rather than wait.

Make sure you take it as easy as you can but really I am pretty sure the stress would be worse with a small baby to contend with as well as everything else.

baublesandbaileys · 10/12/2012 14:26

I'd do it when pregnant, at 7/8 months most people would still be working and perfectly able to do most of the packing /moving/cleaning etc

and if you move before you can get in on some antenatal classes in the new area, rather than move with a baby when everyone already has their baby friend groups established

StrawberryTot · 10/12/2012 14:27

I have moved house whilst 7 months pregnant with dc1 and again when dc2 was 4 months old, and in all honesty I didn't see any difference between the both times, they were both as stressful as house moving is only the second time I had a toddler and a breast feeding baby in tow. Dealing with the dog was what I found difficult when we moved Grin

Emsmaman · 10/12/2012 14:27

How soon after baby would you move? If it was 6 months or more that would be fine, you will be in a rhythm with the baby and it won't be too disruptive, and the scary newborn stage where you rely on your NCT group will be over, and once your DC is mobile there will be plenty of activities you can join to meet other mums.

We moved when DD was 2 months old and it was hell, I would never do that again. Not just the move but all the househunting fell to me with a newborn being carted around on bus & train, having to view properties with a screaming baby, trying to objectively analyse pros and cons after less than 2 hours sleep. I nearly put down a deposit on a 2 bed flat without my DH seeing it, as it was amazing for our budget, because of DD I didn't go out into the garden as it was raining, if I had I would have heard the tube and train running DIRECTLY behind the place (hidden by trees). So if it was between moving whilst pregnant and moving with a newborn, I would say move whilst pregnant and join an NCT group in your new area to meet people. I thought I was tired and braindead whilst heavily pregnant but tbh the fatigue and wooly-headedness that comes with a newborn is worse!

HoratiaLovesBabyJesus · 10/12/2012 14:28

I moved at 33w with DC2. It was fine. It was nice to come from hospital to the right house too, IYSWIM.

The nesting coincided nicely with unpacking at the beginning of maternity leave too.

But get movers. A heavily-pregnant woman should not do more than a child would do as far as moving is concerned. Put stuff into cases or boxes, fine. Manhandle furniture, no way.

Emsmaman · 10/12/2012 14:29

Sorry x posted with just about everyone...slow typist me!

Journey · 10/12/2012 14:33

I'd move before the baby is born. Sleepless nights and moving house with a new born would be stressful.

Original poster
emeraldgirl1 · 10/12/2012 14:34

Dear God, yes, IU have no intention of picking up more ethan a teaspoon Grin

I am very worried about what some of you have pointed out, the idea that I will be a billy no-mates in a new area if we move after everyone has formed friendly baby groups...

We would almost certainly be moving at around 3-4 months (ie after baby born) so it could well be the worst of both worlds.

I think part of me is reluctant to leave my lovely flat in the area I know pretty well and feel settled in... but I will be just as reluctant after the baby arrives!!!

OP posts:
baublesandbaileys · 10/12/2012 14:38

its not all THAT bad OP, in my experience the tight baby groups fall apart a bit and open up at around 9 months when some people go back to work and some don't and it all changes then anyway.. and by toddlerhood its not an issue..
but during the maternity leave period I found that people do stick to their familiar people a bit

but it's not like you'd be friendless forever if you missed the antenatal group window!

Original poster
emeraldgirl1 · 10/12/2012 14:40

baublesandbaileys - am sure you're right!! I just have memories of seeing slightly scary looking cliques of ante-natal class mums in my local Starbucks and feeling that I would never be brave enough to attempt to join in once I had my own baby!! Am sure they were lovely but they looked a bit territorial...

OP posts:
baublesandbaileys · 10/12/2012 14:47

some are lovely, some are super compeditive.. the newborn stage is a bit of a "leveller" and I found people meet in their groups as everyone has the same things in common, then once people start going back to work or not people open up a bit and go back to looking for people that they have something in common with other than the fact that they gave birth the same month IYKWIM

Original poster
emeraldgirl1 · 10/12/2012 14:49

I know exactly what you mean - have been to a couple of pre-natal yoga classes and it's just like being back at school where you are desperately trying to find people you might actually gel with but the one topic of conversation for the time being is all around the pregnancy thing!!

OP posts:
SledsImOn · 10/12/2012 14:55

Do it now - but only if you have to move within months, and if you're utterly sure about the place you're going to.

The last thing you want is to end up somewhere new and wrong, with a small baby, noisy neighbours, noisy traffic at night, no doctors surgery nearby, that sort of thing.

At least you know it where you are - but if you can 'not' move and stay put for a year or so, then I'd do that.

baublesandbaileys · 10/12/2012 15:01

yes I'm finding it much harder to bond with bump/antenatal/baby people with pregnancy no 2 because due to having an older child and work etc I just don't have time/inclination to really indulge in sitting around discussing all things pregnantey all the time and I don't even remember exactly how many weeks I am without referring to my phone app

Honestly I'd rather chat about what people do for work and what they are up to for the holidays etc but its all constant bump and birth chat at the groups and I think being a second time mum a lot of them are a bit shocked at how blaze I am about it! Grin

anyway it might be for the best, I don't imagine many first time mums would appreciate me bringing my bouncy snotty nosed toddler along to their nice calm hygenic PFB coffee mornings anyway LOL

Poor baby no 2 will have to wait till the "antenatal goup" stage is over before getting any little "friends" of it's own!

Swipe left for the next trending thread