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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to question why all social events have to involve drinking / getting drunk and to feel like I have grown out of it?

79 replies

Misspearshaped · 10/12/2012 13:34

Every time there is a birthday, hen do, wedding, Christmas party etc amongst my friends / colleagues all people seem to want to do is drink and get drunk.

I am not a big drinker. I will have a couple of drinks but I'm not really into the whole "let's get really wasted" thing. I was when I was at uni, but that was 10 years ago and now I have hit 30 I have better ways to spend my time and money. I feel like I have totally grown out of wanting to get pissed.

I am very good at standing up for myself and not having my arm twisted into drinking more than I want to, but I am fed up with constantly being made to feel 'boring' because I don't want to get drunk.

One of the reasons I don't drink to excess is that I have hobbies and interests (mainly sport) so I like to feel fresh at the weekend to enjoy my hobbies and not slob around with a hangover all day. I also like to save my money for holidays or nice things for my house rather than spend all my wages on tequila slammers. I also have quite a high-stress job with a lot of responsibility so I can't afford to be hungover on weekdays either. Plus I can't be bothered with drinking too much and making a fool of myself (it's ok when you are 21 but a bit cringe when you are 30 I think) and I care about my health as well.

AIBU to feel this way?

OP posts:

cinnamonnut · 10/12/2012 17:31

YANBY, people can be such dicks as well.

cinnamonnut · 10/12/2012 17:32

*YANBU

Darkesteyes · 10/12/2012 17:36

Im 39 and have never been drunk. Not once. people tend not to believe me though because of this culture that we have now.
I dont really like the taste of most alcohol but i will sometimes have a glass of wine at Christmas or vodka and diet coke/orange on a special occasion but after 2 drinks 3 at the most (and 3 is pushing it for me) i find i want to switch to soft drinks after that. I also have IBS and too much alcohol seems to make it worse so i will never be getting drunk for medical reasons as well as the fact that i dont want to.

grimbletart · 10/12/2012 19:23

YANBU

Drunks are incredibly boring.

SlimJimBra · 10/12/2012 19:32

youoldtinsellyslag LOL at comfy shoes and rennies! Can I come out for a nice meal (and just the one glass of wine) with you?

MadSleighLady · 10/12/2012 19:35

I still have drunken nights, but it tends to be as a treat, or when a dinner out goes really well and everybody stays late, rather than a dedicated aim from 7pm. And I drink drinks I actually like rather than shots to get me drunk. Definitely agree about weekends, I've got better things to do than be hungover now, which I didn't ten years ago!

I only have one friend who hasn't really made the switch. He expects a night out to go on till 3 and end in silly dancing at someone's flat. I'm knackered by half midnight these days.

worsestershiresauce · 10/12/2012 19:38

YANBU - as grimble said, drunks are boring. They are also embarrassing and disgusting. I hate being around drunk people, so avoid anything where the general plan is to get wasted.

I think it is embarrassing for us as a country that there is an accepted culture that getting drunk is a good thing. It is very different elsewhere in the world. I worked in Paris for a year, and was called into the office by the boss one day and asked to have a word with my English colleague. He used to come in to work on a Monday and start the 'oh I got sooooo bladdered at the weekend...' talk. He was actually trying to fit and and be one of the lads. In France however this was regarded as unacceptable, and they believed he was an alcoholic. I had to explain to him that either he changed his line of chat or he would lose his job.

YouOldTinsellySlag · 10/12/2012 19:50

SlimJim- my pleasure, get your comfy shoes on!

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 10/12/2012 20:55

YANBU, OP. I just dont get our 'let's all get pissed' culture that we have in the UK. I very rarely drink, mainly because I just can't be arsed but also because drink makes me feel crap. It increases my anxiety and makes me feel mentally low. It's also expensive and if you drink you can't drive. On rare nights out I prefer to drive so that I can leave the second I've had enough (I'm an introvert and really dislike big nights out).

I used to drink a lot more when I was in my late teens and early 20's, and during my uni days. I've been drunk three times in my life and each of those times was accidental - I've never set out to deliberately get drunk, just had a few too many on a night out. Once I hit my late 20's and got stuck into work, I just outgrew it. My ex hated it and couldn't understand why I didn't like drinking but he was an arse.

I know that I sound ball-achingly boring and indeed I've been told I'm boring and unsociable. I don't care. On a night out a few months ago (a nice, civil meal, hurrah ) I was talking about the fact I rarely drink and I was asked what I do to relax. Because drinking is the one and only way to relax, obviously .

Needless to say I'm not going on my work's Xmas do which is a piss-up in a bar. I would much rather be home with a good book, nice cup of tea and Corrie .

FromEsme · 10/12/2012 20:58

YANBU

I am so bored of drinking and would much rather go to the theatre/cinema/a restaurant/a walk...

More or less anything but drinking. My body HATES me if I drink.

apostrophethesnowman · 10/12/2012 21:10

I really don't understand why people think that you can't have a bit of fun without consuming alcohol.

I couldn't care less if I never had another drink in my life.

I do have a bottle of wine in the fridge for Christmas day. I know, though, that I will probably have half a glass and my daughters will drink the rest of it. I will still have a great time.

OhTinky · 10/12/2012 21:12

YANBU!

I was in a queue to go clubbing on Sat, and I suddenly thought, what am I doing?! I'm pretty poor anyway with it bring Xmas, I haven't got time for a hangover with a 23m DD and I have another two Xmas outings this week (sit down meals with hopefully more civilised drinks). I left the club queue and went home. I'm 28. I don't want to go clubbing again for a long time! Dont think my friends understand this though, but I'm the only one with a baby.

Different strokes for different folks!

Plomino · 10/12/2012 21:15

Me too . Don't get me wrong , I like a drink , but not to the degree that I have to be rescued by someone else , throw up, or can't remember what happened . Possibly this may be coloured by the fact I've spent nearly 20 years having to deal with the fallout of Friday and Saturday night drinkers , who go out , get trashed , and either then want to fight the world , or cry on my shoulder whilst screaming abuse at me , and I just don't see any fun in it .

CoteDAzur · 10/12/2012 21:55

YANBU to be fed up with the same old drinks. YABU to think there is nothing else in night life.

Start drinking vodka/Red bull. You will see that it is an entirely different kind of drinking experience - the red bull keeps you alert and energetic.

If that fails, there are always recreational drugs

cinnamonnut · 10/12/2012 22:22

Not sure if CoteDAzur is being serious

3monkeys3 · 10/12/2012 22:34

I'm 30 too. I like getting tiddly with dh as we just laugh and laugh , but other than that I stopped getting trashed years ago. I hate feeling drunk. My sil gets absolutely, embarrassingly hammered still - I feel sorry for her tbh.

Annakin31 · 10/12/2012 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

katiecubs · 10/12/2012 22:56

YABU sorry - It's fun

Am sad I don't do it as much anymore either though - toddlers and hangovers are not so fun.

ImperfectPirouette · 10/12/2012 23:28

YANBU

I've never been very into alcohol (all the empty calories!) & it doesn't mix well with various of the medications I'm on so these days I just don't drink. Thankfully I have very few friends who're into Getting Blind Drunk & those who do enjoy that don't expect me to join in!

It sounds a bit as though you need to think about Finding Some New Friends. Not dumping your current ones, but reevaluating your relationships & trying to build new ones based on The Person You Are Now.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 10/12/2012 23:32

Yabu. If not breastfeeding or pregnant it is lovely to get totally twatted every now and again. I can still manage an reasonably energetic shag with dh in the morning so it is possible to combine alcohol with exercise in my experience.

maddening · 10/12/2012 23:41

A lot of my party going youth friends ( some are 40's-50's (I'm 35)) are still mad for it party hard types but I meet them.for lunch occasionally rather than go out with them and I get to hear of all the antics and goings on and I miss it slightly but wouldn't go back - maybe once in a blue moon but not at the moment.

It is a hard lifestyle to maintain long term - one friend has recently posted that his friend has completely lost it with a long term alcohol problem and is really suffering - the chap is 40 something and at least when I knew him was a lovely person although obviously alcohol dependant even then.

Lueji · 11/12/2012 00:07

I'm not and never been friends with people who think that they need to get drunk to have fun.

Can't see the point, TBH.

Snazzyfeelingfestive · 11/12/2012 00:19

Totally agree OP. Like SoftKittyWarmKitty I have often not drunk on nights out because that way I can drive and I am totally in control of how I get home and when I leave, but more importantly, because it's not the main reason I go out - I can easily do without alcohol as my reason for being out is to see my friends and have a good time with them. But it is very common for people to be a) incredulous and b) judgemental about that, in a way they would hate if you turned it back on them and their drinking. I don't moan at people for drinking or think it's weird of them so why take that approach to me not drinking?
I've had numerous people 'explain' why they aren't drinking when out too and have never understood why you should need to. It's as if you need an excuse not to be drinking! One friend told me she was pregnant and said she was sure I had already guessed because she hadn't been drinking. It had never crossed my mind because I just assumed she didn't want to that day, but evidently other people watch this stuff like hawks.

Darkesteyes · 11/12/2012 00:23

Ive never been a clubbing drinking person. i prefer a nice chat with someone and a restaurant or something like a creative writing weekend. i would love to go to the theatre and see a play.
Those are the things i like.
Went to my school reunion last year and the people who used to take the piss out of me just because i like different things are still the same.

Darkesteyes · 11/12/2012 00:32

SoftKittyWarmKittyMon 10-Dec-12 20:55:55

Yep THIS. (except i dont drive) alcohol can make me feel low too. It also makes me weepy. God i sound such fun dont i!

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