to ask if you think you have been overlooked because of your perceived lack of wealth?

[suebfg]

I didn't used to think that this sort of thing existed (maybe I am too naive) but since DS started at school, I feel as if I have been bypassed by a few people because I don't wear certain clothes, drive a fancy car etc. Are people really so shallow?

OK so it's not the local Queen but she's at least a Duchess has issued a decree. Her child wishes to entertain 4 class mates at a birthday tea in her home.
Finally after three years Violet Beauregarde is allowed to have her school friends rather then her DM's choice cross the threshold. (She's been here to Bohemian Towers a few times.)

I bet there's another party for the golf club kids.

Should I get DD to casually mention that her DM has just won the Booker Prize/Oscar for my field or shall I just warn her not to say ' Pull my finger'.

I suppose so. I don't know why really, but it is just by far the most common color, and it takes ages to order a car in, so you just have what's on the forecourt!

FGS - we spend 34k pa on school fees. Nobody gives monkey's elbow about what cars anyone else drives and there is a wonderful variety tootling up to the common every morning. From the 12 plate audis, the odd Bentley, the beamers and mercs, the convertible minis and fiat 500s to the ancient French cars and Volvos, an ancient Nissan, a Meriva and all sorts of other rust buckets. Nobody has a white 4x4 with cherish plates though - just doesn't attract that type. Thank God.

I think sometimes we project our own insecurities onto other people.

I had no school gate skills. I truly had no ability to socialise outside a very niche circle of people I met through work and old old friends.

Everything had to be v v precisely timed. V organised and often I was arranging meetings calls things on the hoof. I was always a fast moving type.

My hairdresser amazed me as has said that his colourist knows me at the school and .....blah blah blah
I was !
I have never met her let alone spoken to her and yet she has loads of ideas based on her stuff and how I appear

The school gate isn't a barometer

They might just be quite shy? Whilst you think they are snubbing you by not making eye contact, have you observed them acting in a similar manner with others? I know that people have always assumed I'm terribly snotty (from a young age) but the truth is just that I am very shy until I get to know someone.

A lot of people seem standoffish when they are merely shy.

They aren't shy, quite the reverse

What I am referring to isn't shyness either! I always make allowances for shyness as I know that shy people can be seen as stand-offish. But referring to people as povvos because they don't have a Porsche isn't a classic symptom of shyness and that is the sort of thing I have experienced.

Maybe it's a school thing. Can't say this has ever happened to me. I'm nice to people and people are nice to me.