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AIBU?

to be thinking of getting a puppy...

64 replies

lola88 · 09/12/2012 19:07

... when i have a 10mo and am going back to work 2 days a week?

DP is desperate for a dog he's always had them and misses having one we had planned to get one when we moved in together but things have got in the way mostly working and baby. His friend has offered us one of his pups very cheap as an xmas pressie for DS/DP they have 6 chug pups we can have our pick from.

I've never had a dog so am a bit worried about how a puppy would be with a baby and also how long it would be before it could be left alone? I would be going back to work mon and friday around the same time as the pup will be ready to come, i can leave the pup with my sister these days but would it be ok to do that? Also long term how long before it could be left for a few hours with a walk in the day?

AIBU to even think about accepting

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JethroTull · 09/12/2012 19:47

We got a puppy in August. It's taken until very recently for me to feel like I am even sort of coping and we don't have any children. Puppies are Hard Work.

Good on you if you're able to cope!

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Bubblegum78 · 09/12/2012 19:49

A very sensible question OP...

On the face of it, yes. Dogs are like children, especially puppies.

They need toilet training, not too difficult but it takes time and patience and this varies depending on the dog.

They have to be walked twice a day and bathed and brushed or they smell and moult all over the place.

You need to spend lots of time with your pet, they are emotional creatures prone to stress and depression like humans.

Larger breed dogs such as labradoors, german shepards, boxers, springer spaniels ect.... are VERY energetic so they should be walked an hour in the morning and again in the evening and you cannot get away with not doing it because it's training/snowing/your ill.

Even with smaller dogs, they still need to be walked and cared for.

If you DO get a dog I suggest a small breed dog, short haired.

You also need to weigh it up, certain breeds are not so good with children, for example KCC are prone to arthritis in their back legs and can get snappy, Staffs are cute but get extremly powerful very quickly.

I have a Labradoodle called Daisy and she is fantastic with the kids, but totally bonkers and has to be walked for hours, she also eats EVERYTHING, that's the Lab in her apparently.

You need to do a lot of research to decide what breed would be good for your family.

I also think you will totally have your hands full with a pup and a toddler, even more reason to either put it off or got for a small, short haired breed.

You also need to think of the expense, you will have to pay, even for a rescue dog, usally about £100+, more for a pedegree dog. (I paid £300 for Daisy).

You also need to be smart if you get a rescue dog. A lot of rescue centers put the dogs on something called a "haltie" when they walk them out for you, this TOTALLY alters their behaviour and makes them docile and well behaved, so if you do look at a dog you need to see how it behaves off the lead/collar. The difference in the animal can be quite alarming.

A responsible owner, will get their pet vaccinated; £99 vacs for life with Vets 4 Pets, microchipped;£25 and Pet Insurance; this varies but I'm paying £24 PCM with DL, a bed, lead, collar and bowl will be another £50.

You also have to worm and flea them every 4-6 weeks.

I spent £500 when I bought Daisy.

If your dog has to go to the vets that's more expense, P.I only covers certain things and most P.I companies make you pay an excess, mine is £80.

Daisy once ate something and vomitted, I had to take her to the vets the day before pay day, I literally had no money and NONE of the vets I called, including the vets she was registered with would see her unless I could pay, I had to borrow the money off my mum and pay her back the following day.

Just some info to think about.

Good luck! x

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lola88 · 09/12/2012 19:49

tbh a chug is not a dog that i would have ever thought about but the mum and dad are lovely dogs and the size suits me our house and garden are small.

I have 2 friends with babies and puppies who have managed but i'm still unsure, i'm sure i could manage but i want to make sure a dog would fit in with our life style. I'm not too worried about DS as he will be 1 by the time we get the pup and he is very good at listening to what i tell him he knows not to touch the dog or cats and stops dead as soon as he hears 'no don't touch' (i trained him well Grin) and as i said we have gates between the kitchen and livingroom and at the top and bottom of the stairs so there would be 'safe areas' to leave the baby pup in.

I just want to make sure a dog would be happy with us we have 2 weeks to decided if we want one.

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lola88 · 09/12/2012 19:54

thanks Bubblegum78 thats very helpfull

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TidyDancer · 09/12/2012 19:54

There is nothing in your posts that suggests to me that you are ready to have a dog. You are full of indecision.

I speak as someone who has babies and (rescue) dogs.

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ElectricMonk · 09/12/2012 19:57

What would you do if:

  1. An unforeseen "near miss" made you feel that your child was in danger from the dog?
  2. An unforeseen "near miss" made you feel that the dog was in danger from your child?
  3. Your sister was suddenly unable or unwilling to provide daycare for the dog, due to a change of circumstances?
  4. The dog developed a chronic health issue costing several hundred pounds that wouldn't be covered by insurance in the long term?
  5. The dog was difficult to housetrain, or required more attention and extra housework than you expected?
  6. The dog got bored one Saturday while you were out and chewed through the wires for the TV/destroyed the couch etc?
  7. You or your child turned out to be allergic to the dog?

    If the answer to any of those questions is "We'd have to rehome him" then you will be much happier if you wait until your circumstances are better suited to having a dog.

    Also, do bear in mind that there are hundreds of popular breeds of dogs with different advantages and disadvantages, and it's statistically very unlikely that somebody you know breeds the kind which would suit you best. Well looked after, a dog will last a very long time - it's not fair to you or the animal if you spend the next 12 years regretting your decision and feeling guilty about it.

    I won't touch on the moral elements of all of this as I'm sure somebody else has done so by now and there's always room for debate there, whereas practicalities are what they are. The idea of a dog (or even the memory of a few specific dogs, in your DP's case) is bound to be very different from the reality, and you are very likely to regret a decision made over the course of weeks when the consequences will follow you for a decade into the future. I say this as the owner of a delightful parrot whom I should not have bought for at least another decade, and whom I will treat very well but feel somewhat burdened by for about 20 years because of a decision I made over the course of a couple of months in an unbalanced state of mind and based on the preferences of people other than myself...
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CabbageLeaves · 09/12/2012 20:01

I wish parents had to go through the MN interview prior to 'getting' a baby.

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lola88 · 09/12/2012 20:04

Tidy i don't like to make snap decisions i am full of questions not indecision I like to find out what i'm getting myself into, hear other peoples helpfull opinions and advice and weigh it up.

I'm not going to just jump in without finding out everything i need to know i'm aware some people have experience with dogs so it would be an easy decision but as i have none i can't just decide to get a dog 'because i want one'

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SneezySnatcher · 09/12/2012 20:04

A friend has two chugs. They are yappy and destructive (probably due in part to not being walked enough). She has spent hundreds of pounds getting various health problems treated (and they are both young dogs). Even if you were to get a puppy, I'd reconsider the breed.

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ImperialSantaKnickers · 09/12/2012 20:04

I'm worried by the motives of the 'friend' who bred the puppies. If this was an unplanned oops litter then maybe fair enough (although termination is an available option) but if not, why has he bred this lot? Which he is now offering round to 'friends' cheap, just in time for Christmas?

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degutastic · 09/12/2012 20:09

*I'm guessing that a chug is a chihuahua cross Pug?

Reasons against getting one:

  • It will be riddled with health problems since both breeds have a lot of them and their is no such thing a hybrid vigor
  • It will be tiny I really don't like tiny dogs so prone to being stepped on/more easy to hurt when playing with them
  • I don't believe in giving animals to people as presents - It implies that animals are a disposable whim
  • Really cheap better mean under £80 or you have mug written on your forehead
  • Doubt the parents will have been health tested
  • Why did your friend breed them?
  • Do both parents have impeccable temperaments? If not why did your friend breed them?


I really don't agree with breeding 'designer' crossbreeds

If you do get one then please get it checked by a vet - undershot jaws/ holes in their hearts and other defects are common in poorly bred dogs*


^This, with bells on.

However, wrt the principle of getting a dog, yanbu. Wrt the rescue issue, sometimes breed rescues are less idealistic in their rehoming policies than the big charities.

There are sometimes good reasons not to get a rescue pup, but if you do decide to purchase a dog, the last thing you should consider doing is fueling the craze for backyard breeding of "poor quality" animals (by which I mean undesirable or genetically screwed) and designer crossbreeds (which contrary to popular mythology do not have hybrid vigour or improve the issues associated with pure breds).

If you decide to go ahead, you would be well advised to put a great deal of thought into the choice of breed, breeder/rescue and pup - not just take the cheap offer from a mate.
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KitchenandJumble · 09/12/2012 20:15

I know nothing about "chugs." (BTW, what a dreadful name for this type of dog!) But I'm a bit surprised to see all the posts about how hard it is to have a puppy. It might be hard for some people with some dogs. But it wasn't for us at all. Our current dog was about 4 months old when we got him. He was completely housetrained in a week or so. He chewed a couple of things he shouldn't have but in general was remarkably good about chewing only his own toys. He's a wonderful dog and we love him to distraction.

The ease of training him has absolutely nothing to do with me. I'm an ordinary dog owner with no special skills. But his temperament and intelligence made it very easy to work with him even as a puppy. I guess what I'm saying is that the amount of work you have to do depends on the individual pup. Just as some babies sleep through the night from early on, whereas some don't sleep through for years, etc. What do you know about the temperaments of the parent dogs?

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degutastic · 09/12/2012 20:20

K&J, my last two dogs have been just like that - super easy to train and have around in every respect. Worst thing current lad has done is destroy a couple of jumpers at around 4 months! But, I chose dogs who would fit into my lifestyle easily, after a great deal of thought - not just because a mate was selling one cheap Sad

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TidyDancer · 09/12/2012 20:35

Look, don't get me wrong, I think it's great that you're asking questions. It's just that it's never a good idea to take on a dog (or any animal, actually) without being sure you both want it and will be able to care for it sufficiently. I just don't think you're sure enough on either point.

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twinklesparkles · 09/12/2012 20:47

Urgh ... Chug :/

I hate to be rude but maybe consider a better type of dog...

Chugs are going to be prone to health problems. And how would a chug benefit your children? What can children do with a chug?

Sorry I don't mean to be rude ...

Also, why bother if your gonna be in work all day? What's the point of buying a dog and then giving it to your sis to babysit... What if she wants to go out?

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TwitchyTail · 09/12/2012 20:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

worsestershiresauce · 09/12/2012 20:58

I have done the puppy thing twice now, and would never ever do it again. Dogs are easy, puppies however are a huge amount of work just because of the time they take up.

They have to be taken out every 45 mins for the toilet. Until you have trained them to go on command they can spend half an hour playing before they get round to it. If you give up and come in again they will immediately mess in the house.

They can't be left when they are tiny. They are babies. An adult dog can be left for up to a max 4 hours, but not a puppy.

They often scream cry at night, or when you are in another room. A puppy with separation anxiety is very hard to deal with. You also need to get them out for a wee a couple of times at night. I set the alarm for midnight and 5 am.

Training takes up a lot of time, and you need to commit to doing this every day if you want a nice dog. Untrained dogs are a liability, and not much fun to be around.

Xmas is the worst time of year to get a puppy. They are very sensitive to noise, chaos, change in routine. Both mine had severe vomiting and stomach upset whenever we had guests down (lots of extra cleaning up.... lovely). They look like they are having fun playing with visitors, but actually they are stressed. If you want a puppy collect it after xmas when you are back on your usual routine.

Dogs are expensive. If money is tight seriously reconsider. First year will cost you hundreds - £35 to walk in the door at the vets, two lots of vaccs on top (about £50 a time), neutering (at least £100, probably more), insurance, collar, lead, bedding, basket/crate, toys, food, a walker for when you are out (£10 an hour). Plus puppies eat rubbish and pick up bugs so you will need to factor in several trips to the vets for antibiotics/check ups.

Post in the doghouse for some really informed replies and lots of help.

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redwallday · 09/12/2012 20:59

Honestly? You will end up rehoming it. Think dog piss and shit all over your floor while your 10 month old tries to crawl around. Getting a puppy with a young baby really isn't s good combination. Especially if your not used to dogs. You also need to research the breed. Small dogs are often hard to house train and have big personalities which if not managed properly can make for a snappy barking little monster!

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ZeldaUpNorth · 09/12/2012 20:59

I'm thinking of getting a dog after Christmas. I've wanted one for ages and I think now is the perfect time as dd3(last dc) is nearly 3 and I am not at work yet (so puppy will not be left alone) I've done loads of research on type (though I'll be lucky to get what I want in a rescue centre) and what dogs need, yet I'm still hesitant. It's a big responsibility to take on. Why not wait until after Christmas and look more into a breed you would like and try a rescue centre?

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lola88 · 09/12/2012 21:11

The rescue centre don't like to rehome any dog with children under 5 i was advised to get a puppy by them.

The pups parents are family pets very sweet and good natured. I'm just unsure about going back to work DP says it's only 2 days but it seems slightly unfair to me, my sister would take very good care of it happily but it ould mean dropping off a puppy and a baby at diff houses all before 8am. DP wants one so badly i said i would look into it but at the end of the day i need to consider if it's fair on a dog.

I would never want to rehome we had to do that with a cat years ago because our older cat was attacking her and it was heartbreaking even though she was only rehomed with a lovely lady in our street i still cried my 6 yr old eyes out

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kilmuir · 09/12/2012 21:16

irresponsibe breeding. don't encourage it by accepting a puppy.
what will you do with a young puppy when you are at work

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NothingIsAsBadAsItSeems · 09/12/2012 23:45

The pups parents are family pets very sweet and good natured. I'm just unsure about going back to work DP says it's only 2 days but it seems slightly unfair to me, my sister would take very good care of it happily but it ould mean dropping off a puppy and a baby at diff houses all before 8am. DP wants one so badly i said i would look into it but at the end of the day i need to consider if it's fair on a dog.

What happens if your puppy is travel sick? Can you cope with the added stress of a distressed puppy and sick all over your car + the amount of time and patience that goes into fixing it. Of course sometimes it can't be fixed...

Even with the good temperaments of the parents I'd want to know why these two dogs were bred as it certainly wasn't to improve anything with either breed.

My dalmatian bitch has just had her first litter (8 puppies so I've gone from 4 dogs and a 2 year old to 12 dogs and a 2 year old) we'll be keeping 1 bitch. All pups are KC reg., will come with extensive puppy pack, both their jabs, BAER certificate, 5 generation pedigree, life time support, I'll take the pups back at any stage of their life, both parents have had the relevant health tests as will the puppies and they all had approved homes waiting prior to their birth - the majority were spoken for before conception. Non of the pups will be leaving us until after Xmas. Is your friend offering any of this? - A decent breeder should offer at least most of the above

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NothingIsAsBadAsItSeems · 09/12/2012 23:51
  • Pups will also have been introduced to children, cats, chickens, horses and normal house hold noises
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Pandemoniaa · 10/12/2012 00:08

I cannot think of anything more alarming than a "chug". As others have said, both breeds suffer from appalling health problems and this type of crossbreeding is downright irresponsible. I cannot imagine that the dog will be at all suitable for your household and certainly won't have the necessary stamina or temperament to cope with a small child.

If you want a small dog there are many, much more healthy alternatives than this genetic nightmare in the making but right now, I'd be inclined to wait until your baby is a little older.

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MeerkatMerkin · 10/12/2012 00:19

Will you have time to socialise the dog? A lot of smaller breeds get "big dog syndrome" with other dogs (and in general) because they have been treated like handbag dogs, whisked into the owner's arms when behaving badly rather than the behaviour altered accordingly because it seems easier. It's not good, emotionally, for the dog. Just a thought.

I might have considered getting a small breed puppy when my DS was 1 but now that he is 2, boisterous and testing boundaries constantly (including hitting our dog sometimes, which luckily our soft staffy tolerates, but could really injure a smaller dog) I can see that it would be horribly unfair on the dog. He might respond well to being told "no" now but believe me he will test you as he gets bigger!

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