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AIBU?

to be thinking of getting a puppy...

64 replies

lola88 · 09/12/2012 19:07

... when i have a 10mo and am going back to work 2 days a week?

DP is desperate for a dog he's always had them and misses having one we had planned to get one when we moved in together but things have got in the way mostly working and baby. His friend has offered us one of his pups very cheap as an xmas pressie for DS/DP they have 6 chug pups we can have our pick from.

I've never had a dog so am a bit worried about how a puppy would be with a baby and also how long it would be before it could be left alone? I would be going back to work mon and friday around the same time as the pup will be ready to come, i can leave the pup with my sister these days but would it be ok to do that? Also long term how long before it could be left for a few hours with a walk in the day?

AIBU to even think about accepting

OP posts:
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CoolaYuleA · 10/12/2012 00:44

I have had lots of dogs, and currently have two - a 12 year old and a 4 year old. Both rescued as puppies. I have had a variety of breeds and sizes, old and puppy, even one with a severe birth defect. I love dogs and have taken in many waifs and strays over the years and trained them all.

I now have a 14 month old DD.

With all my experience and knowledge there is no way on earth I would consider getting a puppy now. My old pooch is great, she happily fits in around DDs needs. The younger one chunters a bit but does as she is told. A puppy has to have it's needs met when they occur, they can't hang on to toilet because you are feeding a baby, or changing a nappy. They might want to poddle around the garden for 45 minutes before peeing and you need to be out there with them whilst they do it. They may decide to yowl all night.

My pooches were trained to walk to heel long before DD came along. Adding a pram into the mix provoked a lot of sniffing and sideways "WTF?!" glances - but both dogs just pootle along beside me as they have always done. A puppy wouldn't do this. When you start walking a puppy they sit down and stare at EVERY noise (first time out with old dog it took 45 minutes to walk to the shop 5 minutes away). Then they tend to pull and weave about - impossible with a pushchair.

Now to the "Chug" eeeeew they have a reputation for being snappy. I wouldn't put one near a child, particularly a young child. You mention stair gates - a puppy that size would just go between the bars so gates would be pointless.

Puppies are like babies - and you would have two totally different babies with different needs both wanting/needing them met immediately. You would either have to neglect your child's needs to meet the dog's - or neglect the dog's needs to meet your child's.

I won't be getting another puppy until DD is at least five.

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CoolaYuleA · 10/12/2012 00:45

*impossible to manage effectively with a pushchair.

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MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 10/12/2012 01:14

Don't do it... My reasons...

  1. Stupid designer dogs, the more there are the less good they are
  2. 10-12 months is too young. They could never, ever be left alone together, why not wait
  3. It is frankly irresponsible and unfeeling to buy a dog when there are so many wonderful dogs waiting for re-homing
  4. There are a thousand reasons there may be issues: behaviour; biting; wetting; stress; health of your child or the dog; expense; being let down for care; too much work.


Just wait a bit. There really is no rush. Unfortunately the shelters will be full in a year.
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MyLittleAprilSunshine · 10/12/2012 02:00

I'd advise you that if you want to get a dog that you get an older dog that is already trained and good with children and preferably medium sized. Medium sized dogs in general don't need as much walking as the larger dogs (but obviously still need their walks, this goes without saying) and are less snappy than the little dogs. I'd say at least 3 years old, so they are really settled in their temperment. I'd definately not go for a designer breed. They don't really want to 'play' with kids and can sometimes come off as a bit snobby. There is no point getting a dog just because your partner really wants one. It would have to be something you'd all gain as a family from it.

I did a quick test on SelectSmart for dog breeds and put in roughly what I think you would want in a dog. These are the results from 1 being the best, to 179 being the worst. Have a look at the top breeds and see what you think. :)

  1. Sussex Spaniel (100%) Breed Info
  2. Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever (97%) Breed Info
  3. Polish Lowland Sheepdog (92%) Breed Info
  4. German Pinscher (90%) Breed Info
  5. Pointer (85%) Breed Info
  6. Treeing Walker Coonhound (85%) Breed Info
  7. Keeshond (85%) Breed Info
  8. American Water Spaniel (83%) Breed Info
  9. Entlebucher Mountain Dog (83%) Breed Info
  10. German Shorthaired Pointer (83%) Breed Info
  11. Irish Red and White Setter (83%) Breed Info
  12. Brittany Spaniel (82%) Breed Info
  13. American Eskimo-Standard (81%) Breed Info
  14. Petit Basset Griffon Vendéen (81%) Breed Info
  15. English Setter (81%) Breed Info
  16. Beagle (79%) Breed Info
  17. Australian Shepherd (79%) Breed Info
  18. Saluki (79%) Breed Info
  19. Weimaraner (79%) Breed Info
  20. Irish Water Spaniel (79%) Breed Info
  21. Miniature Bull Terrier (76%) Breed Info
  22. Scottish Terrier (76%) Breed Info
  23. Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier (76%) Breed Info
  24. Whippet (76%) Breed Info
  25. Gordon Setter (76%) Breed Info
  26. Field Spaniel (75%) Breed Info
  27. Irish Terrier (75%) Breed Info
  28. Bluetick Coonhound (74%) Breed Info
  29. Wirehaired Pointing Griffon (73%) Breed Info
  30. Welsh Corgi (Pembroke) (72%) Breed Info
  31. Welsh Corgi (Cardigan) (70%) Breed Info
  32. Welsh Springer Spaniel (70%) Breed Info
  33. Labrador Retriever (67%) Breed Info
  34. Airedale Terrier (67%) Breed Info
  35. Poodle (standard) (67%) Breed Info
  36. Clumber Spaniel (67%) Breed Info
  37. Glen of Imaal Terrier (67%) Breed Info
  38. Icelandic Sheepdog (67%) Breed Info
  39. Redbone Coonhound (65%) Breed Info
  40. Bulldog (65%) Breed Info
  41. Tibetan Terrier (65%) Breed Info
  42. French Bulldog (65%) Breed Info
  43. Golden Retriever (65%) Breed Info
  44. Harrier (65%) Breed Info
  45. English Cocker Spaniel (65%) Breed Info
  46. Bearded Collie (63%) Breed Info
  47. Border Collie (63%) Breed Info
  48. Border Terrier (63%) Breed Info
  49. Portuguese Water Dog (63%) Breed Info
  50. Puli (63%) Breed Info
  51. Pyrenean Shepherd (63%) Breed Info
  52. Curly-Coated Retriever (63%) Breed Info
  53. Staffordshire Bull Terrier (63%) Breed Info
  54. Swedish Vallhund (63%) Breed Info
  55. Vizsla (63%) Breed Info
  56. Flat-Coated Retriever (63%) Breed Info
  57. American Foxhound (61%) Breed Info
  58. Australian Cattle Dog (61%) Breed Info
  59. Norwegian Elkhound (61%) Breed Info
  60. Pharaoh Hound (61%) Breed Info
  61. Plott (61%) Breed Info
  62. Collie (61%) Breed Info
  63. Dachshund (61%) Breed Info
  64. English Foxhound (61%) Breed Info
  65. English Springer Spaniel (61%) Breed Info
  66. Irish Setter (61%) Breed Info
  67. Bull Terrier (60%) Breed Info
  68. Standard Schnauzer (60%) Breed Info
  69. Basset Hound (58%) Breed Info
  70. Norwegian Buhund (58%) Breed Info
  71. Belgian Malinois (58%) Breed Info
  72. Belgian Sheepdog (58%) Breed Info
  73. Black and Tan Coonhound (58%) Breed Info
  74. Briard (58%) Breed Info
  75. Canaan Dog (58%) Breed Info
  76. Dalmatian (58%) Breed Info
  77. Kerry Blue Terrier (58%) Breed Info
  78. Black Russian Terrier (56%) Breed Info
  79. Scottish Deerhound (56%) Breed Info
  80. Chesapeake Bay Retriever (56%) Breed Info
  81. Shiba Inu (56%) Breed Info
  82. Spinone Italiano (56%) Breed Info
  83. German Wirehaired Pointer (56%) Breed Info
  84. Ibizan Hound (56%) Breed Info
  85. American Eskimo-Miniature (54%) Breed Info
  86. Boykin Spaniel (54%) Breed Info
  87. Rhodesian Ridgeback (54%) Breed Info
  88. Samoyed (53%) Breed Info
  89. Smooth Fox Terrier (52%) Breed Info
  90. Borzoi (52%) Breed Info
  91. Chinese Shar-Pei (52%) Breed Info
  92. Dogue de Bordeaux (52%) Breed Info
  93. Havanese (52%) Breed Info
  94. Cocker Spaniel (51%) Breed Info
  95. Australian Terrier (50%) Breed Info
  96. Wire Fox Terrier (50%) Breed Info
  97. Boxer (50%) Breed Info
  98. Schipperke (50%) Breed Info
  99. Manchester Terrier (48%) Breed Info
  100. Belgian Tervuren (47%) Breed Info
  101. Bernese Mountain Dog (47%) Breed Info
  102. Welsh Terrier (47%) Breed Info
  103. German Shepherd Dog (47%) Breed Info
  104. Sealyham Terrier (46%) Breed Info
  105. Poodle (miniature) (45%) Breed Info
  106. Cesky Terrier (45%) Breed Info
  107. Finnish Spitz (44%) Breed Info
  108. Giant Schnauzer (44%) Breed Info
  109. Lakeland Terrier (43%) Breed Info
  110. American Eskimo Dog-Toy (43%) Breed Info
  111. Bichon Frise (43%) Breed Info
  112. Cavalier King Charles Spaniel (43%) Breed Info
  113. Alaskan Malamute (42%) Breed Info
  114. American Staffordshire Terrier (42%) Breed Info
  115. Poodle (toy) (42%) Breed Info
  116. Greyhound (42%) Breed Info
  117. Afghan Hound (41%) Breed Info
  118. Shetland Sheepdog (41%) Breed Info
  119. English Toy Spaniel (41%) Breed Info
  120. Doberman Pinscher (40%) Breed Info
  121. Leonberger (38%) Breed Info
  122. Beauceron (38%) Breed Info
  123. Cane Corso (38%) Breed Info
  124. Tibetan Mastiff (38%) Breed Info
  125. Tibetan Spaniel (38%) Breed Info
  126. Toy Fox Terrier (38%) Breed Info
  127. Xoloitzcuintli (38%) Breed Info
  128. Affenpinscher (36%) Breed Info
  129. Manchester Terrier-Toy (36%) Breed Info
  130. Anatolian Shepherd Dog (36%) Breed Info
  131. Miniature Pinscher (36%) Breed Info
  132. Neapolitan Mastiff (36%) Breed Info
  133. Norwegian Lundehund (36%) Breed Info
  134. Bloodhound (36%) Breed Info
  135. Siberian Husky (35%) Breed Info
  136. Komondor (34%) Breed Info
  137. Basenji (34%) Breed Info
  138. Otterhound (34%) Breed Info
  139. Boston Terrier (34%) Breed Info
  140. Pug (34%) Breed Info
  141. Silky Terrier (34%) Breed Info
  142. Dandie Dinmont Terrier (34%) Breed Info
  143. Greater Swiss Mountain Dog (34%) Breed Info
  144. Italian Greyhound (34%) Breed Info
  145. Japanese Chin (34%) Breed Info
  146. Chow Chow (33%) Breed Info
  147. Dachshund, Mini (33%) Breed Info
  148. Bedlington Terrier (32%) Breed Info
  149. Bouvier des Flandres (32%) Breed Info
  150. Chinese Crested (32%) Breed Info
  151. Great Pyrenees (32%) Breed Info
  152. Irish Wolfhound (32%) Breed Info
  153. Old English Sheepdog (31%) Breed Info
  154. Maltese (29%) Breed Info
  155. Newfoundland (29%) Breed Info
  156. Brussels Griffon (29%) Breed Info
  157. Kuvasz (27%) Breed Info
  158. Lowchen (27%) Breed Info
  159. Mastiff (27%) Breed Info
  160. Bullmastiff (27%) Breed Info
  161. Yorkshire Terrier (27%) Breed Info
  162. Parson Russell Terrier (Jack Russell) (26%) Breed Info
  163. Papillon (25%) Breed Info
  164. Saint Bernard (24%) Breed Info
  165. West Highland White Terrier (24%) Breed Info
  166. Norfolk Terrier (23%) Breed Info
  167. Skye Terrier (23%) Breed Info
  168. Pomeranian (22%) Breed Info
  169. Dachshund, Toy (22%) Breed Info
  170. Norwich Terrier (20%) Breed Info
  171. Cairn Terrier (20%) Breed Info
  172. Shih Tzu (20%) Breed Info
  173. Chihuahua (20%) Breed Info
  174. Rottweiler (17%) Breed Info
  175. Great Dane (17%) Breed Info
  176. Akita (15%) Breed Info
  177. Miniature Schnauzer (13%) Breed Info
  178. Lhasa Apso (8%) Breed Info
  179. Pekingese (8%)
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MyLittleAprilSunshine · 10/12/2012 02:02

Oh also note Pug and Chihauahua quite low for percentage of what you would want.

Plus they do tend to have a lotta health problems.

Hope this helps :)

www.selectsmart.com/DOG/

to take test for yourself .

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onceisneverenough · 10/12/2012 04:26

Some good advice on here already. I have worked in rescue centres, for a breeder, at a boarding kennels and have rehomed some rescue dogs myself privately that rescues did not have room for and where the dogs needed extra 1 to 1 attention. I also have 5 dogs myself.
Giving a needy dog a home is always the ideal but you shouldn't feel pressured into getting a rescue dog if you would rather buy a puppy of a breed of your choosing. Rescue dogs need more training and often come with their own set of behavior problems that wont have been apparent in a kennel situation, such as being very destructive in the home, not being 100% with strangers or being very poorly trained. Sometimes far worse if the dog was badly abused or neglected. I would not rule out you getting a rescue dog entirely if your partner has a lot of experience with dogs, but from what I have gathered I think choosing a breed that will fit in with your lifestyle and approaching a reputable breeder would be the best choice for your household.

I would not recommend you accepting the chug puppy, some of my reasons are the same as many other posters, the dog is of a breed that is more likely to be snappy also being small it could easily be stepped on or injured. Also because I think given your situation with your 10mo and house training it may not be ideal at this time of year. If you were to take on a puppy next year in the summer you would be able to leave the back door open. Also again in the summer months when the weather is nice you will be able to enjoy taking the dog for a walk and sitting outside more.

If you were to wait it would give you time to save up for a puppy that came fully registered, vaccinated, wormed and with 4 weeks free insurance. It would also give you time to do plenty of research and narrow down a list of breeds you like and that are suitable. It would also give you time to do any work that needed doing such as making the garden dog proof. You would also be able to work out a doggy budget e.g insurance, vaccinations, wormer, food, toys, puppy classes.

Please think very carefully before you take on any animal.

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merrymouse · 10/12/2012 06:22

You are approaching one of the most demanding times for children - when they are newly walking - and you are going back to work. Cut yourself some slack and don't get a dog.

At this age your DS would be happier with a cuddly toy, and your DP, while wanting a dog, from what you say, is not in a position to look after the dog. I can tell you that without any doubt the generous person making a huge sacrifice would NOT be the friend offering the dog at a discount, it would be you. Looking at your current life stage, I do not think you are in a position to do this.

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CabbageLeaves · 10/12/2012 06:38

My initial reaction to this thread was one of sighing because I've never ever seen a poster advised to get a dog. It's always the same response that they are too difficult, too expensive, not compatible with children or working and usually a few personal insults and assumptions thrown in (you sound, unprepared, totally unsuitable...should never have dogs)

However in amongst the usual posts there has been some great advice and I really think it should be taken.

I have always had dogs, always rescue dogs. However, I wanted my last dog to be 'chosen' not someone else's cast off or a problem pup. Dithered and dithered wondering about my situation (work, children, cost, reliant on others for pup care). Based on this thread I might never have gone ahead.

Eventually took on a 'rescue' of a dog someone else didn't want (3yrs old) because he moults (who da' thought eh?)

He's slotted into our lives and been my best most beloved dog ever. Enjoyed by extended family, he sleeps next to me now and is contented, calm and fantastic with DC.

All good.

What it has taught me though is that my yrs of coping with unsuitable breeds, poorly bred dogs, poorly socialised dogs etc was just a horrible experience of dog ownership. It's great if there are people who can rescue those and give them good homes. I'd never do it again (maybe when retired and plenty of time on my hands?)

I would really recommend a considered purchase. A breed or cross that has recommendations. I share the chug ewwww. It's not a promising hint of health. Vets bills can run into hundreds very quickly.

Sounds like the parents are social animals so that is good, but I'd still consider choosing rather than acquiring because this dog is being waved under your nose.

A dog should be for life and can be a burden not a joy. Choose one when it will be

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FreddoBaggyMac · 10/12/2012 06:49

I would wait a couple of years until your DC is older, and also I'd recommend getting a puppy at the beginning of summer for housetraining reasons (you will be outside with them a LOT of the time!) We got a puppy about four months ago and my youngest DC is three, and I think it would have been more difficult if he was younger. You'd never be able to leave the puppy alone with your DC as it's in their nature to chase and nibble you with their very sharp teeth (until you train them to do otherwise which takes a while!) Working a few days a week would not cause too many problems providing you give the puppy lots of attention at other times.

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lotsofdogshere · 10/12/2012 09:09

I wouldn't do this for all the reasons given above. Pugs/Chiw crosses probably = very high maintenance both behaviourally and health wise. I've been there in returning to work, with a young baby and dogs already in the family. It is entirely possible, but very demanding. The first 12 - 18 months of a dogs life tend to be the time you really need to put the effort into training them. House training is easy, usually achieved within 2 - 4 weeks but you need to be totally vigilant. Out for a wee every half hour initially, and after every feed (4 a day). If you have a crawling baby, it will be a challenge to stop the baby crawling into a new puddle, or worse. So many of these cross breeds combine the best and/or the worst of the original breed. I'm not anti cross breed in any way, but I do worry about the trend for so called "designer" dogs, as so many of them end up in rescue before they reach their first birthday. Often between 7 - 10 months because they get bigger, more lively, nipping and need lots of consistent, patient input to help them learn more acceptable ways of behaving. If you really want a dog, wait until things are more settled generally, getting one at Christmas, alongside your return to work is a recipe for disaster.

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TimeyWimeyStuff · 10/12/2012 09:27

Does your DP know that it is specifically a chug being offered? I ask because, in addition to all the very good points about health and behaviour of this type of dog, I wonder whether it's the sort of dog your DP has been dreaming of. Might sound shallow, but if he is to invest time, money and love in this animal as well, it has to be what he really wants as well as you. You said upthread that it was the type of dog that would suit you. I know my DH would be horrified at the prospect of a small "designer" dog. Why is why we have two rough and ready rescues. One of whom came to us no questions asked from a stand-alone animal shelter that I desperately had to get him away from (even though they knew we had a small child).

Please look into rescue. A retired greyhound or similar might better suit your circumstances. When not being walked (run) they love to laze around all day.

But, overall, you really don't sound ready for this at all. I'd pass on the current offer do some more research, then choose the right blend for the whole family. Smile

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Paiviaso · 10/12/2012 10:06

I would say you shouldn't do this simply because the puppy doesn't sound like it is coming from a good source.

A "chug" (why are they breeding this cross??) that you will get for not very much money - why is not very much money? Is this because they haven't done any health testing? From the info you've given us, it sounds like some unneutered family pets were thrown together to make some puppies, which they are selling for some very undeserved £££.

If you are going to buy a puppy, please buy one from a breeder who is knowledgeable, health tests their dogs, researches their lines, knows their breed inside and out, and is dedicated to breeding healthy, happy dogs that conform to their breed standard. This way, you will know what temperament and characteristics to expect from your dog, you will know the dog will fit into your family, and you will hopefully end up with a dog that will be with you a good number of years :)

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LadyPenelope · 10/12/2012 15:28

I would caution waiting. I had never owned a dog and our family just got a puppy. She is a great breed for families - good temperament, Intelligent, etc. she is a friendly puppy and does all the stuff puppies do ... Bites and chews, jumps up, nips. She has company all day bar v short periods and we spend a lot of time training her.

My DH does most of hard work. Gets up at 6 to walk and train her, walks her in evening, does vet appointments, does all reaserach, takes lead with training, orders food online etc. this was our deal as I was certain I could to take on another responsibility. I was happy to be back up but not be the one in charge. ( that's me for rest of family and I also work full time)

But she is a lot of work and adds an added complication and new logistic to our life. I would defintely not do it with child your child's age, or working outside home. Even with gates etc, it is not so simple to keep puppy safe and out of trouble. Our puppy is crate trained which has been great. Means she will happily go in crate for a short time with some toys if we need peace to do homework, bath kids, go on phone, have noisy boisterous kids over for play date.

I love the puppy and she has brought a lot of pleasure to our family. However,my initial instinct that I did not want the responsibility was right. She is a lot of work and you have to be ready for the work. If you are not used to dogs( as I was not), the puppy biting, jumping, growling etc, can be v disconcerting. You will be the one dealing with that until the training kicks in.

Don't want to spread doom and gloom, as our pup is also v sweet and now a firm part of the family, but I am relieved we did not do it sooner and glad my DH is able to shoulder the main part of the work.

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Whoknowswhocares · 10/12/2012 16:45

There is a very good reason why the rescue centre will not let you have a dog! Those with considerable experience have decided your son is not the right age to introduce a dog to the family.
Why would you decide that as a complete novice, you know better than them? Yabu.

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