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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be absolutely seething with the ex about promised presents for Christmas

56 replies

SophisticatedFury · 09/12/2012 12:27

So my ex partner has been telling my 10 year old son that he'd get him a PS3 for christmas. I've clarified this with him. However, he text me Monday night to say he didn't realise PS3's were that expensive and can not afford to get one. He's told my son for months he'd get one.

I'm so pissed off. I mean it's 2 weeks before Christmas and now he drops the bombshell. DS doesn't know this yet as ex has only text to tell me. I've been wracking my brains on our figures to see if we can afford to get one as I know he's going to be so disappointed.

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 09/12/2012 12:28

How much can he afford towards it?

KatzGold · 09/12/2012 12:28

Can he get a second hand one from somewhere like game since they tend o come with a warranty?

squeakytoy · 09/12/2012 12:28

Aw thats a really shitty thing to do to a kid :(

Sirzy · 09/12/2012 12:28

I would tell your ex that as HE promised to buy one HE can explain why he can't have one.

Would it be possible to pick up a second hand one? Not ideal I know but at least he would have one.

SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 09/12/2012 12:29

YANBU. He needs to make a significant contribution towards one. Today.

wonderingsoul · 09/12/2012 12:30

id say fine..

fine out how much one is. tell him to tehtier give you what he can and your both go halfs with it and it can be a joint pressy
or tello him to give ds the money to go to wards one.

fuzzpig · 09/12/2012 12:30

Either you go halves - and make sure your DS knows it's from both of you - or you get your ex to ring DS right now and explain it to him.

SPsFanjoIsSantasLittleHoHoHo · 09/12/2012 12:31

Second hands ones are about £150 now I think. Tell him he caused it so he can fix it

DontmindifIdo · 09/12/2012 12:32

that's horrible, but it's not your job to tell your DS or work out how to pay for one. I guess though your ex will still leave you to pick up the pieces with your DS even if he does tell him.

If you can't afford it, then your ex needs to tell your DS this weekend so you've got time to manage his upset and then get him excited about Christmas again.

Snapespeare · 09/12/2012 12:32

I've always hated my DCs getting two sets of presents (especially when XP has a rich gf & overcompensated for general disinterest with lavish Xmas gifts) could you afford one between you?

Original poster
SophisticatedFury · 09/12/2012 12:33

I've mentioned a second hand one in my reply text. I'm still awaiting a text back. I've even tried phoning his phone - no answer. I fear the onus is on myself and dp to deal with it...

OP posts:
SantaWearsGreen · 09/12/2012 12:36

The new super slim one is £150 new on amazon.

That's a really rubbish thing to do to a kid. I'd suggest going halves also.

Lesbeadiva · 09/12/2012 12:39

How expensive did he think they were?.

diddl · 09/12/2012 12:43

Have you already sorted Christmas presents for your son?

Could you take anything back & buy the PS3 instead?

I wouldn´t go halves tbh-I´d either buy it or not iyswim.

When´s his bday?

Is it too much for that?

Original poster
SophisticatedFury · 09/12/2012 12:48

My point exactly Lesbeadiva. SantaWearsGreen, thanks for that info. It looks like it's out of my pocket yet again.

OP posts:
fuzzpig · 09/12/2012 12:49

No, don't let ex get away with not breaking the news.

It's not like it's difficult to look up a product online, he has no excuse for not having realised the price.

And it's also not difficult to say "sorry it's going to be too expensive to buy this Xmas" (unfortunately we have had to do this before) and common bloody sense to do it ASAP so they don't get their hopes up!

JenaiMathis · 09/12/2012 12:53

£150 is rather less than I thought it'd be. What's his problem? Is he really that broke that he can't find £150?

Original poster
SophisticatedFury · 09/12/2012 12:54

I've pretty much sorted his presents, Diddl. Do PS3s come with games or am I going to have to fork out seperately for those?

OP posts:
SPsFanjoIsSantasLittleHoHoHo · 09/12/2012 12:55

Some preowned ones come with games. Game do preowned bundles

Original poster
SophisticatedFury · 09/12/2012 12:57

Fuzzpig, I fear I'm going to break the news - he's suddenly unreachable by text or phone since he broke the news.

OP posts:
Snapespeare · 09/12/2012 12:58

I wouldn't buy it. I'd get XP to explain that he can't afford it and DS will do without. You are not responsible for backfilling the ex when he can't keep his promises.

JenaiMathis · 09/12/2012 13:00

Oh dear.

Don't do it yet; maybe he's hatching a plan/talking to the local loan shark/his mother.

Has something happened maybe; a huge unexpected bill, redundancy perhaps, that had changed his circumstances dramatically? Or is he just a knob?

SPsFanjoIsSantasLittleHoHoHo · 09/12/2012 13:01

Preowned no games £140

hermioneweasley · 09/12/2012 13:01

I wouldn't buy one. At 10 your DS is old enough to understand that he gets some gifts from you and some from his dad. When his dad sees him and hands over something other than a PS3, he can do the explaining. Harsh though it sounds, your DS needs to learn that his dad is unreliable as I suspect this will not be the last time he let's him down.

fuzzpig · 09/12/2012 13:02

No I don't think you should buy it either really though I can see why you are desperate to avoid his disappointment.