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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find dh disgusting

49 replies

Pinkforever · 09/12/2012 02:00

dh went into town to meet a friend for drinks at 6pm.just rolled in and is steaming.our ds woke up and callee because dh couldnt walk from taxi.when i asked dh why he was in such a state and where had he been he. told me repeatedly to fuck off.again our ds heard this.he has just been sick.i think in our bedroom and i will have to clean it up.aibu to be disgusted with himr?

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 09/12/2012 02:04

YANBU and I have every sympathy for you.

I'm not sure which bit is the worst, the telling you to fuck off or the barf in the bedroom.

What will it be like tomorrow in your experience of him.

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/12/2012 02:13

Is this a one off or is he frequently drunk and abusive?

Original poster
Pinkforever · 09/12/2012 02:16

i think he will not give a shit and will brazen it.out.he will use the excuse that he never goes out and i go out a lot whicis true.however the last time i got in a state like he is was 5 years ago when he left me in the hall unconcious.he will use that as a stick to beat me with.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 09/12/2012 02:19

What about the 'fuck off's? How will be brazen that out?

Original poster
Pinkforever · 09/12/2012 02:19

he used to have a huge problem with alcohol but has calmed down a lot over the past few years.i actually encouraged him to go out.probably should not have gone fishwife at him and i did tell him to fuck off back.to his mothers.

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rhondajean · 09/12/2012 02:22

Oh jeez pink (( hugs)) how can he bring up to youthst he left you unconscious? Or did I misread?

Original poster
Pinkforever · 09/12/2012 02:26

yep i was passed out and was then sick and he stepped over me and went to bed.i made sure the kids never saw me though and have never been in that state again.he will just turn it round to i am a nag and how he only goes out once a year.

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MrsTerryPratchett · 09/12/2012 02:29

I think you need to talk about it calmly when he is sober.

rhondajean · 09/12/2012 02:35

Yes. No one is perfect but really, some if us learn from it eh?

Monty27 · 09/12/2012 02:38

Don't clean it up, sleep somewhere else. Leave him to do it tomorrow.

DozyDuck · 09/12/2012 06:08

Tbh if it was me, it's only once a year, I wouldn't have nagged in the first place. He was out of order saying 'fuck off' but the getting drunk and being sick once a year isn't exactly a hangable offence is it? Really? Confused

Thumbwitch · 09/12/2012 06:11

Being sick in the bedroom is out of order, so is saying fuck off in the hearing of your children; getting drunk once a year I could forgive, despite the steaming state of him.
But the first two - nah, fuckit, he's no business calling you a nag - you're justified in being really pissed off over that.

WandaDoff · 09/12/2012 06:16

He's a prick; Or he's doing a cracking impression of one anyway.

Don't think I'm too far away if you're needing a friendly face hen x

BlueSkySoftSand · 09/12/2012 06:33

My dad always told me to never argue with a person when drunk. It gets you nowhere and can only cause more problems.

Wait till the cold light of day when there head feels like it will explode then rip them apart discuss.

AbigailAdams · 09/12/2012 06:52

Pink this isn't the first (and nor will it be the last) time you have posted about you H. He is abusive when sober so this isn't alcohol related. He isn't going to get better. Do you really want to put up with this shit for the rest of your life?

Original poster
Pinkforever · 09/12/2012 09:16

i am up making kids breakfast.i heard a lot of noise during the night and when i went to see what was going on he was running a bath but didnt even know where he was. there is sick in the sink and a sick covered tshirt and towel left on the floor.havent even gone into our room but have opened all the windows.

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ImagineJL · 09/12/2012 09:29

To be honest I think that drinking so much that you're sick is something adults should grow out of before they have kids, and telling eachother to fuck off is not exactly nice for the kids to hear either. I never cease to be amazed at how much people are prepared to allow their kids to witness.

Original poster
Pinkforever · 09/12/2012 09:36

gee thanks for that imagine.i didnt tell him to fuck off.of course i didnt plan for ds to see dh in that state.my ds found it funny that his dad couldnt walk.i dont.

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DingDongKethryverilyonHigh · 09/12/2012 09:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bradyismyfavouritewiseman · 09/12/2012 09:39

and i did tell him to fuck off back.to his mothers.

You posted this ^^ op.

GoldQuintessenceAndMyhrr · 09/12/2012 09:41

Why start arguments with a drunk when the kids can hear? So the kids heard you tell him to fuck off? So who woke the kids? You or him?

You were the sober one, did it occur to you that for the sake of family peace and your kids you could just let him get to bed without screaming?

How do you know your kids did not see you laying in your own sick in the hall?

I think the two of you seriously need to grow up. And it seems you should have considered leaving him long ago.

Original poster
Pinkforever · 09/12/2012 10:03

i told him if he spoke to me like that again he could go live with his mother.i know my kids didnt see me as they were fast asleep and i made sure i cleaned up before they got up. yeah because its so easy to leave a marriage when you have no money and no where to go right?...

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bradyismyfavouritewiseman · 09/12/2012 10:10

op my point is, you get shitty with people because they comment about you telling him to fuck off.

The only reason anyone thinks you told him to fuck off, is because that's what YOU said.

This is clearly an unhappy marriage. You need to start making a plan to leave. And stop posting on aibu if you don't want opinions. Perhaps 'relationships' maybe a better place to post? If its support you are wanting.

in aibu, you will get opinions.

GoldQuintessenceAndMyhrr · 09/12/2012 10:13

"because its so easy to leave a marriage when you have no money and no where to go right?..."

People do leave bad marriages even if they have no money and nowhere to go. People also make excuses why they cant leave, and the above is one of them.
Others plan, save money, find a job, and move on.

Which category do you fall in to?

Original poster
Pinkforever · 09/12/2012 10:14

i have no problem with opinions.i do have a problem with the sanctimonious tone of some posters..... i suppose i better go clean up as not nice for kids to see it.

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