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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want people to stop fucking staring at me in the gym?

82 replies

chinglebellsbatmansmells · 08/12/2012 22:12

It's hard enough to motivate myself to get off my lazy ass without feeling uncomfortable while I'm there, all sweaty and red faced.

Why do people have to stare anyway. I dint fucking stare at them while they're puffing and panting, it's just RUDE.

Can't I just sweat and MN in peace fgs!

It really puts me off. Sad

OP posts:
samandi · 09/12/2012 09:44

YANBU.

Celticlassie · 09/12/2012 12:11

There's no way they're all staring at you. I quite often catch someone's eye in the gym and realise that I've been gazing vacantly in their direction, while they're also gazing vacantly in mine!

StickEmUp · 09/12/2012 12:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

musicmadness · 09/12/2012 12:22

They won't be staring at you. They will be in their own little world and won't be paying attention to anyone around them. I do the same thing and often realise I've been looking vaguely in someone's direction but I'm never looking at them so to speak.

I go to the gym very regularly, and the only people I've ever looked at and actually paid attention to was someone who was wearing very heavy make up and someone wearing a strapless bra and shorts. That was for a grand total of about two seconds each. Very few people are interested in anyone other than themselves when they are at the gym!

Spons · 09/12/2012 12:28

They're defo not staring at you, do you think you're inadvertently staring at people as you think they're staring at you?! I sometimes where a cap at the gym (keeps my sweaty mane off my face) and its much easier yo avoid all eye contact with it on!!

higgyjig · 09/12/2012 12:50

Unless you are hot, they are not all "staring" at you wow vain much

Reasons I "stare" at people in the gym:

  • they're spending a fecking age on the machines just relaxing when I want to use it. I keep looking round to see when the hell they're going to get off so I can finish my circuit.
  • they're doing something like paddling about 0.1mm on the stairmaster or using the machine totally wrong and I have a cheeky look. (I would tell them but then I might be accused of fucking talking to them in the gym Xmas Hmm
  • Absent mindedly looking round with interest at everyone but not really registering them

I repeat. Unless you are hot, you are not a work of art that people just have to stare at.

higgyjig · 09/12/2012 12:52

What exercise are you even doing that you can be on MN at the same time? Unless it's something like recumbent bike - and to be honest you shoudn't be that relaxed even for that - then you are not working hard enough. You should not have enough time to make lengthy posts in between sets either.

BrianButterfield · 09/12/2012 12:55

Things I have thought looking at people:

Isn't he hot in that? (Man wearing thick cotton hoodie with hood up on cross-trainer)
Wow, she's running fast, that's impressive.
I like her leggings.
I wonder if he's nearly finished as he's slowing down, because that's my favourite machine and I would like to use it next.
Is that such-and-such? I think it might be from the back but I'm not sure.
Ha, what a poser (to the gym nut men who spend most of their time checking each other out)

TinyDancingHoofer · 09/12/2012 15:33

Well, you must be looking at them to see them looking at you so YABU! No one is staring at you, they are too busy thinking about themselves.

allthatglittersisnotgold · 09/12/2012 22:52

Was once doing a cat stretch and caught a guy staring at my upended arse in the mirror, turned around and made sure he knew he was a nasty little pervert. On the other hand though I find myself absent mindedly staring at people, and really i'm thinking nothing. If anything it's that looks like a good exercise should I try that?! Don't let it bother you, just keep going!

MissNJE · 10/12/2012 10:26

I have to admit that I usually stare at people at the gym. I stare at those who are incredible fit and have a great body so that I can motivate me.

girlsyearapart · 10/12/2012 17:00

Yep I do that too!

TrillsCarolsOutOfTune · 10/12/2012 17:05

YABU to want them to stop staring at you, because they are not staring at you.

DontCallMeBaby · 10/12/2012 17:10

I don't do the gym thing any more, but when I did, reasons for 'staring' at people included:

  • ooh, you're actually running slower than me on that treadmill, no one runs slower than me, I think I actually love you
  • get off the damn machine, I want to use it
  • that's a nice top, hm, do I NEED new gym kit yet?
  • oh no, please don't change the handle on the lats machine, I'll have to change it back and I'm a bit short and struggle to do it ...

Since then I've had all self-consciousness removed by a PT who takes the piss out of me for going purple at the least exertion.

Janeatthebarre · 10/12/2012 17:12

What I really can't stand is when someone in the changing room is finished getting dressed and instead of going out and sitting in reception while they're waiting for their friends, sit on the bench in the changing room idly staring around at other people. Really uncomfortable. Angry

Chandon · 10/12/2012 17:18

Maybe they just wonder why you are looking around you murderously??

Or maybe you are very goodlooking?

Or maybe you have a generic face and look like everyone's sister, colleague, neighbour?

Maybe you shout motivational critique at yourself? Without noticing?

Usually people stare for a reason

Meglet · 10/12/2012 17:21

If they're looking at you it's because you are fiddling about with your phone and not working hard enough Wink.

That's the only reason I might give anyone a glance at the gym, just thinking 'how can they use their phone when they're meant to be beasting their workout?'

Absy · 10/12/2012 17:23

Well, to give you some guidance as to why people might be staring at you, it could be if you answer yes to one or more of the following:

  • are you a man who grunts everytime he does a rep and looks particularly pained when a hot woman walks past
  • are you a ridiculously good looking man, doing chin ups while circulating your body (it's difficult to describe in words, but astounding to watch)
  • are you a women working out in just your pants and a sports bra
  • are you jogging in a pair of tights (as in proper tights) instead of shorts/tracksuit bottoms/something more normal
  • are you a woman dancing in Zumba like it's actually an X Factor Audition and/or Strip Club

If it's not one of the above, they're probably not staring

CashmereHoodlum · 10/12/2012 17:24

Has anyone suggested getting a t-shirt printed with IT'S RUDE TO STARE yet?

HolofernesesHead · 10/12/2012 17:29

I was in a cafe on my own once, deep in thought, miles away and utterly oblivious to my surroundings.

Suddently came to and reailsed that I'd unwittingly been staring straight at a young woman, who was obviously a bit disquieted. I said 'Sorry' but left pretty quickly after that. Oh dear. Mad stary woman. These gym-goers probably just like me, all deep in reverie, staring in random directions, one of which happens to be you! Grin

girlsyearapart · 10/12/2012 18:56

absy is said woman at Zumba wearing a lambada esqe mini skirt over her gym clothes ?? She goes to my Zumba class..

takataka · 10/12/2012 19:02

just need to add one to Absys list

  • are you stood on the mat area, touching and rubbing your body erotically?
takataka · 10/12/2012 19:03

and another;

  • do you have headphones in? are you singing out loud?
Original poster
chinglebellsbatmansmells · 10/12/2012 22:45

Well thanks all for the giggles! Xmas Grin I've come to the conclusion that the answer is either this:

Maybe they just wonder why you are looking around you murderously??

... or I'm just being paranoid!

OP posts:
EuroShagmore · 10/12/2012 22:53

I think you might be being a leetle bit paranoid.

I only look at other people in the gym
-if I like their outfit and am trying to peek at the logo so I can work out where I can get one;
-if they have an amazing bod or are doing something really impressive, out of admiration;
-if they are men making repulsive grunting noises, out of disgust;
-I'm glancing over to see if you are off the bloody machine yet.

Otherwise, if I'm" looking at" you that is just because you are in my line of vision. I am probably not even focussed on you.