To feel very angry everytime my DH says he's tired too!

[longbay]

I've got a 3&1/2 yrs old DD and a 3 months old DD who take it in turns waking me up every 1 to 3 hrs every single night.
I am EXTREMELY tired.
However, my DH who does not have to get up with them at all/ ever and snores throughout every single disturbance keeps telling me how exhausted he is. On top of that he chooses to go to bed after midnight whereas I'm in bed before 8.30pm! Also he stays in hotels a couple of nights so getS complete uninterrupted nights sleep!

It's not a competition. Talk to him - tell him how you feel, and how he can help.

Fully sympathize but why the hell are you doing it every night? His kids too and he needs to step up to the mark and let you sleep! How can you safely function on so little sleep? He needs a kick up his arse!

Yeah, my DH does it too. He'll say he's tired, i'll say so am I and he'll say 'yeah but I've got work tomorrow' .

Your DH should be pulling his weight with the DC. Punch him awake in future and tell him to sort your eldest, change youngest's bum (or feed if you ff). His DC too.

Why the hell is he not at least getting up to deal with your older DD? And staying in a hotel to get a full nights sleep?

Arsehole.

Are you me OP?

DH doesn't work - I work ft. I do all the housework, cooking, laundry etc

I get up with DS at 5:30 everyday

DH goes to bed about 2am as he stays up playing computer games, wakes me up then snores all night

He is currently in bed now asleep. I have been up with DS since 6, having also been up with him at 4

He likes to tell me he is tired. It makes me stabby

Cat girl wtf?? His existence should make you stabby. What does he bring to this relationship??

Catgirl, Jesus love, what on earth do you actually get out of him?! He sounds like a waste of space.

Ive got one here who says "yea but i have to work" when i say im tired.

Bugs the shit out of me, he thinks i can just nap through the day! I have a toddler and an 8 month old for fucks sake.

Catgirl you need to step back and take a long hard look at your life.

longbay you need to get your DH to start covering Friday and Saturday nights, unless he works weekends.

he goes to a hotel and never gets up WHAT yanbu he sounds an arse sorry he just does

To be fair he does normally get up in the night to DS (although he's sleeping through now)

And he loves DS to bits and is a good dad

We've been together about 15 years -it's not always been this way. he's been a bit depressed lately after losing his job a couple of years ago

But it still makes me stabby :)

catgirl love why are you putting up with that dont get him told today it is his son too ,

Catgirl's man needs to be a man and get a job. There is too much talk of stabbing on mumsnet. Can everyone stop saying so much horrible things?

OK then OP,

Do you work?
Does your DP work?
What is his job?
Does your DP get a decent night's sleep in these hotels (on work-related trips I presume) I ask because I never sleep well in hotels.
Does he do household chores?

catgirl, words fail me.

Oh yes my dh does this and he fake yawns! I challenged him about it once and he was furious with me for days but he doesn't do it anymore!

catgirl you may be doing him no favours by doing so much. Stop coping and give him something useful to contribute. Perhaps he needs a reason to get out of bed. Start handing over the housework chores so he's achieving something.

Perhaps he needs a reason to get out of bed. Start handing over the housework chores so he's achieving something.

this if he is home all day he could do something during the day nobody should have to do it all,

I do have a cleaner on a Friday and he has promised to start looking for a job in the New Year

He does have DS on a Friday (he's nursery 2 days, with DM 1 day and I work from home on the other day)

I agree I enable him by doing too much though

I was thinking of leaving him a "to do" list each day so a) stuff gets done and b) he feels like he's achieving stuff

OP, don't get competitive, just call him out on the late bedtimes. And if he says he needs to 'wind down' (the excuse I use for going to bed too late), tell him to wind down by reading in bed. Apart from anything else, I would bet that your sex life as a couple is suffering if you are in bed at such different times (and I don't think you should go to bed later). If he goes to bed at 8.30 every night for a week, THEN he can talk about being tired.

catgirl, has he got mental health issues? What's his excuse for not pulling his weight?

I was thinking of leaving him a "to do" list each day so a) stuff gets done and b) he feels like he's achieving stuff

Do it

He used to suffer from very severe depression (wen we first met)

He's nowhere near at that stage now but he is a bit dperessed and his confidence is shot, He's in a rut and just escapes by playing games on-line

He doesn't go out, doesn't have any friends, his family are 300 miles away

I can understand him hiding away on his games a lot of people who are in a rut and depressed 'hide' somewhere or on something it is withdrawing is he still depressed do you think ? he really needs to get back to reality and do something else, I sometimes 'hide' on here when im feeling overwhelmed it doesn't really help .

Sorry OP - I feel like I have hi-jacked your thread a little which was not my intention

MrsJay - I totally agree. He needs a job. For the routine and the social aspect more than anything else

Is he on meds? Anti-psychotics can knock the stuffing out of people.