To not sleep with her ds

[Jalopeno]

I am minding friend's ds overnight in two weeks. He is 4. Friend and her dh co-sleep with their ds. Whoever puts him to bed pretends to sleep with him until he falls asleep and then sneaks out until their own bed time later. As a result he will not go to sleep on his own.

I had their ds overnight a few months ago and I had to pretend to fall asleep with him (took half an hour or so) and then I snuck out. He kept waking so eventually I had to go to bed with him at 9.30 for fear he would wake my own dc. He tossed and turned all night so I got no sleep as I am a light sleeper. I was exhausted the following day.

Fast forward to now and I am dreading having him again. I am also pregnant and need my sleep. WIBU to tell her that I am neither sleeping nor pretending to sleep with him and she must work with him on that prior to him staying?

Personally, I think you are being selfish actually - no one will get sleep in your house 2 days before Christmas, you have your own DCs to think about and you're going to be knackered at Christmas.

Say no, she only asked you Friday night, it's reasonable to say you can't do this because her DS won't sleep independently and you need your sleep and cant sleep with him in the bed.

A compromise would be she settles him at her house, then you stay at the house until midnight, she then doesn't have to completely cancel her night out, just cut it short. You at least get to be in your own bed after midnight/1am.

I would be interested to know if the sister has cancelled for the same reason and the only reason you are the only person she can ask is you are the only one who once being told you have to co-sleep with a 4 year old would do it. As you can see from this thread, most people who would have a friend's DC to sleep over/babysit for free in their house for the evening won't co-sleep.

The only mistake OP made was to co sleep last time. If you have a DC who co sleeps you should make it plain that you don't mind having them but you don't co sleep.

All 3 of mine co slept at that age. 2 of them had sleepovers at that age with no problems. I think they shared a room (not a bed) with the hosts kids. My most clingy cosleeper is the most enthusiastic about sleepovers. Kids are unpredictable sometimes.

He definitely won't settle on his own?

I ask because we've always co-slept with our 2.5 year old, until recently when we moved house and he got his own room. If I put him to bed, he wants a feed and cuddles until he falls asleep, but if DP puts him to bed all he has to do is tuck him in, turn the light off and close the door and DS is fine.

I think the first night there was a bit of whinging (not even crying, just moaning about the injustice of it all), and a couple of times when he's not been tired enough he's called out until we came and got him, but as a rule he's slide from co-sleeping to his own room just fine (as long as DP puts him to bed)

As a stranger, you stand the best chance of keeping him in bed, however I can see that if it's not his bed, then that could be the problem that would stop him sleeping no matter what you do.

she is being unreasonable to expect you to have a child who wakes constantly and who has to be with you all night.