Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that NCT clubs are only for smug and over competitive mums

74 replies

bee169 · 07/12/2012 18:24

There are some great groups in my local area where I have met loads of lovely mum's. However, I have found the NCT mums groups are full of really bitchy, extremely competitive mums. Can anyone else relate to this experience?? or AIBU??

OP posts:
gordyslovesheep · 07/12/2012 18:24

I don't related at all :)

LikeAVirginMary · 07/12/2012 18:25

I think that's a ridiculous generalisation.

FolkElf · 07/12/2012 18:26

Well I didn't go to one. but my SIL did and she keeps in touch with some of the mums. She's not smug or competitive in the slightest. Smile

Sneepy · 07/12/2012 18:26

My NCT group was lovely, am still friends with ome of them 6 yrs on.

AntsMarching · 07/12/2012 18:27

It's not been my experience. I've made some very good friends through NCT.

Are you unreasonable? Only you know how you feel and what your groups are like.

bradyismyfavouritewiseman · 07/12/2012 18:28

I can. And I would say yanbu. However that was one nct and I could only assume that not all are like that

It was like a competition to prove they loved their baby more.

Mrsjay · 07/12/2012 18:28

I didnt go to one but I think you have just experienced a group you cant get on with perhaps I am sure they are not all like that though, I left a toddler group because of the same thing many years ago i just didnt feel it was for us, but generalising is unfair

WinklyVersusTheZombies · 07/12/2012 18:28

YANBU. Wait. You have been to all the groups and got to know all the mothers before saying this, right? Because there's no way you'd be making a huge sweeping generalisation about thousands of women nationwide.

LaQueen · 07/12/2012 18:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mrsjay · 07/12/2012 18:31

saee the toddler group I left laqueen I didn't live in 1 of the newbuilds so i think i failed the test Wink

Mrsjay · 07/12/2012 18:32

see*

Mrsjay · 07/12/2012 18:32

oh and i was 23 and unmarried

BelleDameSousMistletoe · 07/12/2012 18:34

Wasn't my experience at all. I was very open in the ante-natal classes about my intention to have an epidural and even bottle feed if it suited me. No-one was sneery or competitive. I was also the only single parent in the group and got nothing but support and help from the others in the group.

I think you have been unfortunate.

VitoCorleone · 07/12/2012 18:35

Whats NCT?

GColdtimer · 07/12/2012 18:38

Still really good friends with all of my post natal nct group 6 years on (and one if them and her dh are in a band with my dh) . None of us are smug or competitive.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 07/12/2012 18:40

National Childbrith Trust. I utterly loathed mine, and to be avoided unless you intend to breast feed on demand and co-sleep from birth to teenager hood

Original poster
bee169 · 07/12/2012 18:40

That's it exactly laqueen some kind of test and the pressure to BF was intense, almost like you are failing your child if you decide to bottle feed.

I know this has been a positive experience for many mums, but in my experience the NCT clubs have a different attitude in comparison to other clubs.

OP posts:
BahSaidPaschaHumbug · 07/12/2012 18:44

NCT is mostly priced out of my reach so I imagine I have little in common with the lifestyles of many of the NCT mums. I would probably find them bitchy in consequence.

piprabbit · 07/12/2012 18:45

It sounds like you found some fab groups where you really jelled with the other mums and got exactly the support you were looking for.

It also sounds like the NCT mums had found a fab group that gave them exactly the support thay they were looking for.

There doesn't seem much point in moaning about one group that didn't suit you, when there were plenty of alternatives.

Horses for courses.

Sleepyfergus · 07/12/2012 18:46

YABVU. sweeping generalisation. I bet the local NCT groups are prob glad you're not in them if you are so bitchy. What a ridiculous post.

Shit stirring much?

IceNoSlice · 07/12/2012 18:47

I have a 4 month old, and have had great experiences with both the lovely people we met at the NCT antenatal classes and the NCT bumps and babies group. Really friendly, non-judgey, warm and welcoming people (both the mums and the dads). As it happens, 4 of 7 are FF, 2 are EBF and 1 is mixing. Not a lentil weaver amongst us.

The NCT teacher, on the other hand...

LilyVonSchtupp · 07/12/2012 18:49

I have my issues with some areas of the NCT's work but the people I met in my group were loveliness itself and all very interesting.

I think it's pot luck TBH. Though as Bah says, its pricing does exclude many people and that naturally will have influence on who attends.

seeker · 07/12/2012 18:50

Not in my experience, no.

IceNoSlice · 07/12/2012 18:51

And we are from a wide range of backgrounds, and I've never seen anyone wearing Joules. Probably helps that we're in the Midlands and not home counties though. (Gah! Now I'm the judgey sounding one!)

redskyatnight · 07/12/2012 18:52

I used to go to a toddler group which was frequented by many mums from the local NCT. They used to sit round in a circle and totally exclude anyone else. When I attempted to make conversation with any of them they always cut me dead and walked away. (this didn't happen anywhere else so I don't think it's me) I can honestly say I have never met a more unfriendly bunch of people.

Swipe left for the next trending thread