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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that parents who uproot their child from all friends for new life are selfish.

72 replies

Loveweekends10 · 07/12/2012 12:41

Build a new life in the country...but not at the expense of your 5 year old child having to live in a caravan over winter with no friends whilst you try to completely renovate a house on £14 grand and your wife lives in cloud cuckoo land spending £3 grand on an aga.

OP posts:
SweetMingePie · 07/12/2012 12:42

Someone you know?

HECTheHallsWithRowsAndFolly · 07/12/2012 12:46

Is that a tv show?

WileywithSageStuffing · 07/12/2012 12:47

It depends, its hardly a lifetime of upheaval. And the new lifestyle might give them a much better quality of life when complete.

I doubt a 5 year old will have formed such strong friendships that they will mourn their lost friends forever.

Plus its just none of your business is it?

Based on what you have said YABU. Unless there is more to it...£14k doesn't sound like enough to completely renovate anything bigger than a shoebox

SherbetVodka · 07/12/2012 12:48

Some people like my parents think that children are so adaptable, able to live in the moment so easily and have such short memories that completely uprooting their lives can't possibly be traumatic for them, let alone have any long lasting negative effects...

Original poster
Loveweekends10 · 07/12/2012 12:48

It's on channel 5 now. She has just been shouting at her 5 year old because she wants to play and all she keeps saying is 'you want us to get the house finished don't you'

OP posts:
WileywithSageStuffing · 07/12/2012 12:49

Well that's not on....but it is heavily edited don't forget

BigusBumus · 07/12/2012 12:50

So are all military parents selfish then? I moved house, area, country every 2 years as a child and teen because my dad was a harrier pilot. How selfish of him. Angry

BackforGood · 07/12/2012 12:50

What Wiley said.

Original poster
Loveweekends10 · 07/12/2012 12:51

Yes I'm sure you are right. The mother is just so irritating though.

OP posts:
chrismissymoomoomee · 07/12/2012 12:52

I 'uprooted' my children a year ago to move 500 miles away.

I am not selfish at all, there were no jobs or opportunities where we were they are much better here in the long run.

Cheers for that though.

noisytoys · 07/12/2012 12:52

I moved house every 2 years as a child. I struggle to stay in the same place for any length of time now. I wasn't damaged by the moves though. Kids are adaptable

DorisIsWaiting · 07/12/2012 12:52

YABU at 5 children are more than capable of forming new friendships 15 with exams looming then maybe you have a point (although even then some parents have too move for the sake of their jobs and putting food on the table).

TBH I think you're being a bit hysterical about it, Living in a caravan maybe hard but not impossible the child may really enjoy it. My DParents lived in a caravan in my sisters garden in the Scottish Winter till they found a house they wanted to buy.

ChippingInAWinterWonderland · 07/12/2012 12:52

We moved when my brother was 5 - he doesn't even remember where we used to live - not our house, not our friends, nada. I on the other hand hated moving - but I was a lot older and we moved to the otherside of the world - not just 'To The Country'.

Most of us get a bit short tempered when we are under a lot of pressure and we don't all have time to play all day. All you have seen is a small snap shot - you have no idea how much time she's already spent playing with her.

How disgraceful that they want to make a nice home for her in the country Hmm

DorisIsWaiting · 07/12/2012 12:53

Ah channel 5 you should have said!

Original poster
Loveweekends10 · 07/12/2012 12:53

He he hysterical!! No don't think so!

OP posts:
sommewhereelse · 07/12/2012 12:55

It sounds like they have bitten off more than they can chew.

I was 'uprooted' age 7 for my Dad's career and two years later my closest friends had moved, one to South Africa and the other quite close to where my family had moved so we were able to see each other again, and we had moved on to have completely different interests by then.

I don't agree with not making changes because of your children's friendships.

AmberSocks · 07/12/2012 12:55

some kids like change,and they can make new friends.Plus you have to weigh up the pros and cons,moving and being upset for a while might work out best in the long run.

autumnlights12 · 07/12/2012 12:56

we moved to a new area/town away from their old friends when my eldest two were 6 and 3.
I wouldn't do it now that they are 12 and 9.
As they get older, friendships take on more importance and I would only move now if it was totally essential.
I moved schools and areas several times as a child and hated it.

Feminine · 07/12/2012 12:57

I have had to do this twice.

My children are fine, thanks though. Confused

dreamingbohemian · 07/12/2012 13:01

Seriously? You see one irritating woman on TV and suddenly all parents who move are selfish?

YABU

MammaTJ · 07/12/2012 13:04

I will uproot my DD who will be 8 and my DS who will be 7 next year to uni. Yeah totally selfish.Hmm

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 07/12/2012 13:05

£3k for an Aga is cheap.

Kids get "uprooted" all the time. Children are not plants, they don't need to be in one spot to thrive. Sometimes it's at the choice of the parents, sometimes not.

I moved loads as a child, it was great, new places, new people, new fun. As an adult I have never feared living in a new place or country, or being able to make new friends (except in the West Midlands - now that was a struggle!).

ChippingInAWinterWonderland · 07/12/2012 13:07

I don't like the colours of the walls - such a shame.

Felt sorry for Demelza when they wouldn't STFU about killing the bird :( Both of them seem to be a little hard of thinking.

autumnlights12 · 07/12/2012 13:08

see it might have been 'great' and 'fun' for you Unexpected, but not for everyone.
Not for me.
I hated being the new girl yet again
I hated trying to see where I belonged in the pecking order the bottom
I hated leaving old friends and neighbours behind
This has absolutely driven my desire to keep the dc's in one permanent base from now until they leave for Uni/College/Work

ChippingInAWinterWonderland · 07/12/2012 13:09

I missed the beginning of this - but they are now mortgage free! Well done/lucky them!