What to do about neurotic YR 5/6 teachers?

[AnnaLiza]

I'm not saying that my DSs are saints but the teachers of previous years have never complained about their behaviour at school! Since the beginning of this academic year, though, the two female teachers for Yrs 5 and 6 are telling them off and making them cry at least once a week! For example:
DS1 (yr 6) got badly told off for bouncing a ball while he was walking to the assembly line and the ball was confiscated for two days.
DS2 (yr 5) got into serious trouble for flicking a pencil during a lesson.
DS1 got shouted at for talking during a lesson and for daring to say that other people were talking too.
Also they tell me that one of these two teachers refers to some other children as "idiots" and the other one is shouting half of the time and almost always at boys only.
AIBU or this is totally unacceptable?

Telling the teacher that other people were talking as well was not polite.

I sternly had a go at a child about that this week.

Me: Stop behaving like that and be quiet please.

Child: It wasn't just me.

Me: No, but it was you as well as other people.

Child: yes... But...

Me: Other people misbehaving does not give you the right to do it too. The fact is I didn't see them, I saw you, and what you were doing was wrong. Therefore, other people's behaviour is irrelevant and doesn't justify yours.

Child: yes miss.

Me: don't do it again.

Child: sorry miss.

Honestly OP get a grip. Does that sort of ridiculous excuse work in court- it's ok your honour, because I wasn't the only person in the shop shoplifting.

your dss are not being 'forced into submission' by neurotic teachers though...they are being told off for bouncing balls, flicking pencils and talking during lessons; all of which disrupt other childrens learning

He politely pointed out that other people were talking, did he? Oh right. So no apology, no recognition of the fact that he was in the wrong?

OP, I agree that the teacher shouldn't be shouting, I don't think it's the best way of addressing bad behaviour and I certainly don't think it promotes a positive atmosphere. However, if the teacher is dealing with constant low-level disruption and lack of respect then it is not a minor issue. It is a major issue for your own children and for the whole class. And the sooner you and the teachers can both show that it is unacceptable, the better.

I was wondering how you manage to get a special prize, ilovesooty

Yeah - I want one!

Special prize that is...

If a child tells me others were talking when I tell them off I say "I know that, I saw you talking and I am telling you to stop, everyone else had better stop as well or you will all be in more trouble than you already are"

It is irrelevant that the others were talking. Would you defend your son shoplifting because others get away with it?

Feenie

I, along with nearly every year 5 and 6 teacher I have ever met, have a very similar start to the school year. It involves working together to draw up and agree to a set of class rules which will make our year together more harmonious and successful. Failure to follow these agreed rules has consequences.

It is then absolutely vital that these rules (and the ready existing whole school rules) are adhered to by everyone because not doing so makes teaching and learning very difficult.

In short, behavioural expectations in schools are extremely clear and a teacher is perfectly justified in disapproving and taking action about any misdemeanours.

A teacher who doesn't consistently follow through is doing no one any favours. This is not making children into automatons, it is making them responsible for their own behaviour within a set of agreed rules. If you like, it's a bit like adhering to laws in a civilised society. This is what we are preparing them to do.

For what it's worth, shouting is never good, but then maybe the teacher's buttons had been pushed and pushed by bad behaviour. She is only human after all.

I agree that the OPs children need to accept that their behaviour is their own responsibility.

OP: AIBU
Vast majority of respondents: Yes you are. Very much so.
OP: I'm not listening to you any more. I'm not playing I'm hiding the thread.

This just about sums up the OP's mentality.

The sad thing is that the OP's attitude will fuel the children's attitude and that will then impact on 29 other children.

A child attempting to justify his own poor behaviour by saying that "other people were doing it too" would annoy me far more than the original crime, whatever it was.
But the kids in my school know me well enough not to be so foolish as to even go there!

I just hope these children aren't coming my way when they move up to secondary school. I agree totally with what Raven said - I have a year 8 tutor group too, and the tiresome 'I'll do what I want, look at me, aren't I fascinating, everyone else is less important than me' boy was funny to the others for about 10 minutes, and now children ask to be moved away from him.

There's no need to be so nasty to OP guys

I don't think we are being nasty. I do think our opinions are being dismissed by OP and our concerns for good behaviour in the classroom ignored.

OP, you came onto AIBU and asked a question, you got lots of answers from people, and nearly everybody politey said YABU. On eor two expressed it more firmly.
Despite that you insist that YANBU. So the responses got more pointed and you still have 99% of people saying they think YABU

Your response to that is to say that EVERYBODY ELSE is still wrong, and you are right.

If you ask for an opinion, then you need to listen to the responses. If you disagree with most of them, maybe you need to rethink your position. You asked AIBU? you got and answer.

And actually, those parents who defend their kids with "it wasn't just them," "they're only little" and accuse teachers for being "overly mean for minor misdemeanors" are, probably unwittingly, contributing massively to the amount of low-level disruption that is impacting hugely on progress and learning in schools these days.

And considering that lessons are deemed inadequate now if one pupil is off task, it can hardly be expected that teachers will be tolerant of low level disruption.

I haven't read the whole thread, but in my DCs' school the expectations of standards of behaviour become higher as they go up the school, so 'little' things that they might have got away with in Y3 would not be acceptable by Y6. All part of equipping and preparing them for secondary school. Having said that, the pencil flicking and ball bouncing in the corridor would not be allowed from a child in any year group.

And I suppose calling long suffering Y5 and 6 teachers neurotic isn't at all unpleasant - I expect others were doing it too?

And,i

freenie, I don't think op has said it to the teacher's faces, just on here. So not really any need for your indignation on their behalf is there?

All the comments from others, re op being childish, you all so quite childish too tbh, getting pissy because Op disagrees with you.

The OP was the one who asked for opinions in the first place, then criticised people for saying she was BU.

There is no need for tone from either side, and I still think people sound v,immature