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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To confront head teacher

56 replies

MissedTheBusHome · 05/12/2012 13:10

DD aged 7 should have got the bus home from school today.

Usual procedure is after lessons finish at 2:15 she waits in atrium and is collected by bus monitor and arrives at collection point 2:50.

Today she was not collected from atrium. She along with 6 other children were missed off the bus. The first I knew of this was when I received a call from person meeting her to say she hadn't arrived at collection point.

I rang school - for twenty mins I couldn't get through. After twenty mins the answer phone indicating the school office was now closed kicked in.

There is a second bus that runs to deal with DC's who do after school activities so I asked the person due to collect her to wait in case she was on that one. It usually arrives at 3:50. It eventually arrived at 4:15 and thank goodness DD was on it but I am fuming.

For almost an hour and a half I had no idea where she was or if she was safe.

The school obviously became aware at some point that she missed the bus but didn't think to call me to let me know all was ok.

I'm minded to head to school first thing tomorrow to let the HT have it with both barrels -AIBU

genuine a since I may have lost perspective due to another incident

OP posts:
Pendeen · 05/12/2012 15:19

Most public sector organisations have a so-called 'zero tolerance' approach to customers who - in your own words "..let the HT have it with both barrels"

In the average hospital, council office or school anyone who behaved in that manner would be shown the door and told to come back when they could behave in a civil manner.

Besides which, most people react far better to a reasonable approach and are more likely to help.

ChasedByBees · 05/12/2012 15:25

What makes you think letting them 'have it with both barrels' is going to be screamy and aggressive? For me it would be being clear about what I want to happen (i.e. review of procedures), being clear about my facts and being very firm in my arguements. It would be calm, logical and assertive - I'd describe that as giving both barrels so don't assume OP will be a screaming banshee.

OP I'd be furious too and insisting to know how it happened and what they plan to do to make sure it doesn't happen in the future.

Pendeen · 05/12/2012 15:27

I will assume what I like based on the OP's comments however if she defines what she means then I am hapand py to retract my previous comment

socharlotte · 05/12/2012 15:41

*Most public sector organisations have a so-called 'zero tolerance' approach to customers who - in your own words "..let the HT have it with both barrels"

I don't think they meant be abusive, just give him a bollocking !

Original poster
MissedTheBusHome · 05/12/2012 15:58

mummytime nope not US - although curious as to why you think it might be more likely there?

Also to clarify - I certainly have no intention of being abusive or discourteous. I do however wish to make it perfectly plain that what occurred today was absolutely unacceptable and I will not be accepting any excuses. I will also be making the point that the receptionist seeking to apportion blame to my DD for failing to notify her earlier was inappropriate.

Honestly I just can't believe a school could be so fucking stupid. Aside from the issues re her not being put on the bus, once the error was noted why why why would no one think to contact me?!

At the moment I'm debating turning up to school first thing v an email tonight.

OP posts:
ImperialSantaKnickers · 05/12/2012 16:04

Do you know the parents of any of the other six children who were abandoned? A united front would give you a total of fourteen barrels to fire at the HT Xmas Grin

twinklesparkles · 05/12/2012 16:14

That's really unacceptable

Am glad your dc got home ok, hope the other kids did too

I'd definetely be having serious words with the headmmaster

Why wernt they collected from the atrium? :/

needsomeair · 05/12/2012 16:15

I would send an email tonight. Make it clear, precise and detailed.

Say that you want a meeting first thing to discuss what you believe to be an appalling breakdown in procedure/security etc. and that you will report to the office first thing.

cumfy · 05/12/2012 16:23

Think bus monitor will be getting both barrels.

Original poster
MissedTheBusHome · 05/12/2012 16:25

needsomeair yes I think email might be good idea - trying to compose now but I'm struggling - I am raging!

OP posts:
Pendeen · 05/12/2012 16:28

MissedTheBusHome

Fair enough, my error.

It was your "... I am fuming" in relation to the "... both barrels" which made me think of some of the more vociferous mums I have seen 'in action' at our school when things have gone wrong.

Panzee · 05/12/2012 16:32

I am a teacher. If I had made an error like this I would expect both barrels. This is completely unacceptable and needs to be sorted.

We3bunniesOfOrientAre · 05/12/2012 16:34

If you know who the other 6 children are then I would try to contact their parents and organised a united front.

quoteunquote · 05/12/2012 16:40

Suggest that in future that all children are collected from reception, then if there are any problems, the children are already in the care of the people who would be able to deal with it.

Clearly the system does not work at the moment as this incident has demonstrated , so by making sure the children are in a place of safety, the system is less likely to fail.

LeeCoakley · 05/12/2012 16:42

Also, does the bus driver have a register of who should be on it? If there is a discrepancy he/she could put a call in to the school. If there are children missing or children who shouldn't be on it then there needs to be some way of accounting for them.

Original poster
MissedTheBusHome · 05/12/2012 18:57

No worries pendeen whilst I remain fuming I will be calm and collected.

There are so many failings:

No adult waiting with them
Monitor not accounting for their absence
When school realised they weren't on bus failing to notify me
Putting them on later bus without ensuring the would be collected.

I'm actually getting crosser - anyone of those failings would get me cross but all of them?!

Anyway I decided to email HT it will be waiting for him in the morning...will be interested to see what his response is. I am betting v defensive

OP posts:
whattodoo · 05/12/2012 19:04

Wow, i'm not surprised you're fuming. Is DD ok? What have you told her to Di tomorrow at pick up/bus time?

ByTheWay1 · 05/12/2012 19:19

There are many many ways a system can break down through no one person's fault... so I would make sure of all the facts before going in with all guns...

I would first - check with child, were they at the collection point for the monitor at the correct time and paying attention so they (the six) didn't miss anything - were they the only ones waiting to be taken by the bus monitor, or were they late or overlooked.

Was the bus monitor called away or taken ill at a crucial time?

The office should have contacted a parent when the kids were put on the later bus in case of pick up issues, but have you checked they have your correct number....

(your child could also have asked the reception to call you since they had not got the bus)

was there a problem with the bus? the second one didn't get there on time - did the one she was meant to get actually go?

just saying.... since I am one to jump to conclusions and end up with a red face when there is sometimes a convoluted combination of facts that have played out a totally different way to reach the same end....

mummytime · 05/12/2012 19:22

US is where I know of there being two sets of buses, and depending on school procedures and age of children, children could "decide" to stay for the late bus.

I think the worse aspect is phones not being answered while children are still on the premises, although I have this with DCs senior school (which seems to assume after school all children can be contacted by phone, even though they are strict about their non-use during school hours).

kim147 · 05/12/2012 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

showmethetoys · 05/12/2012 20:55

I know this was not a lighthearted OP, but I am really LOLing at this thread!

ohfunnyface · 05/12/2012 21:01

Awful system. Email ahead first then go in so you can be given some answers.

bamboostalks · 05/12/2012 21:17

Why did the school finish up so early? Are you inIreland?

Rudolphstolemycarrots · 05/12/2012 22:20

Make the complaint in writing so they have to record it officially. Chew his ear off when handing over the note?

needsomeair · 06/12/2012 00:30

What is going to satisfy you?

A wholehearted apology for the abysmal f**k up (to both the parents AND the children who must have been quite worried)?
A forensic examination of "what went wrong"?
An assurance that procedures will be put in place to make sure this will NEVER happen again?

All of the above in writing Wink

That's what I'd want as a minimum Smile