to get pissed off with friends who are always late?

[Ilovesunflowers]

I have a couple of friends who are always late when we arrange to do something. It is starting to piss me off. On Sunday, for example, one was 35 minutes late as she'd missed the bus (again!). I was stood out in the cold waiting so I ended up having to go into the restaurant and wait for her as it was freezing cold. I hate waiting in restaurants as I was taking up a table that someone else could have used.

Tonight I was doing another friend a favour. She was coming round for me to look at her essay. She's just text (40 minutes late) to say she hasn't finished it so she won't be coming. I could have stayed in the pub with another friend but came home early to help her out.

I am starting to get annoyed about it now. It's always the same two friends. They both come from a country that is more flexible about arrangements and are a bit more chilled about these things. Time doesn't really matter to them. AIBU to still be pissed off about this despite it being part of their culture?

Oh my mum is like this. Someone made the point about they aren't late for work/don't miss holidays - my mum does! She's often late for work, and I'd booked a weekend away with her and DS once and the coach was waiting just for her for ages, I was mortified and DS was crying that the coach was going to leave without nana.

She just seems to have no timekeeping skills at all. If I'm meeting her somewhere I usually tell her an hour or half an hour earlier than I'm wanting to meet.

I wouldn't stay friends with someone who was constantly late unless they had a lot of other redeeming qualities. I'm always on time or early to things (wouldn't turn up early to someone's house though) and just can't get my head around this always late mindset.

I agree with the theory about them not realising they are late until the time they are meant to be there. It's like preparation, travel time, obstacles are just not considered at all - they know they can't teleport there so it's just odd!!

With the exception of YourHandInMyHand's Mum, I still maintain that most of these "I'm so ditzy I can't think how long it takes to get ready" types do manage to keep to deadlines when it matters to them eg keeping a job, going on holiday. By accepting their lateness as a foible, we enable their behaviour.

I have a colleague who always swans in late. In his case, it is an attention-seeking thing. We've all learned to ignore it. Trouble is, he can be quite disruptive as a way of still getting the attention he craves.

So: arrives 20 mins after meeting start time. Is ignored
Fusses over where to sit.
Loudly asks for copy of meeting agenda, as he's forgotten his etc etc

I think whoever is chairing the meeting should keep your colleague in line. It should also be minuted that he arrived late

It's so arrogant. Glad they don't wait for him though. I hate it when I make the effort to attend on time and we all have to wait for people who are still on the phone, on their way etc

The big boss is very good at getting him to pipe down, I must say.

YANBU. But not much you can do. change your expectations of them or it will drive you mad. give them a tome 30 mins before. if they are o time they can hardly complain about you being 'late'