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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to breastfeed my toddler in public?

367 replies

RainbowsFriend · 03/12/2012 21:10

My 18 month DD still breastfeeds a lot. Day and night, if I'm around and not at work.

I don't have a problem with this, (although I would like more sleep! Grin) but it's increasingly becoming awkward when out and about, as toddlers don't cuddle in nicely but squirm and pop on and off a lot.

Today we were in a garden centre cafe, and having polished off most of her lunch, half of my sandwiches AND most of a flapjack, DD wanted mummy milk.
So I obliged. As discreetly as possible with one top up/ on top down, DD tucked in under my jumper and facing a wall.

Then all I can hear is the group of mums on the table behind me saying "it shouldn;t be allowed when they're that age - they should be down to morning and evening feeds MAXIMUM - in fact they should be on formula/cows milk by 6 months/a year" etc. There were about 5 mums all loudly discussing it....

I think my daughter should be allowed mummy milk for as long as she wants it personally. She's not still going to be feeding aged 8 - and she's only 18 months now! I am getting VERY fed up with stares when this happens and really don't want to be confined to the house. I could ask her to wait, but she doesn't really understand that yet - and just asks louder and louder Grin

So WIBU to feed her in public?

OP posts:
givemeaclue · 04/12/2012 14:48

House!

What have I won?

Nipple warmers?

OxfordBags · 04/12/2012 14:48

I like to think of myself like this, only with a better haircut. That's not my Pinterest, BTW.

Some of the ignorance on this thread is hilarious. Saying 'let your child grow up' about an 18 month old is comedy gold. Reminds me of the time a HV told me I was infantilising my son for still Bfing him when he was 14 months. Yes, I said, that would be terrible, what with him being an infant and all... Hmm Also liked the idea that one poster upthread suggested that if it's only for bonding then it was unnecessary. God, imagine doing something to deepen the bond with your own child, that is truly appalling.

The idea that it's mothers forcing their toddlers to Bf for their own weird needs is also bizarre. How on earth do you actually force someone to suck, presuming anyne could even get a toddler latched on against their will?!

The crap about saying they don't need to Bf once they're on solids and that the WHO guidelines don't apply to non-developing countries makes me sad, though. It feels like such a cold, perfunctory attitude towards babies and toddlers, like Bfing is just some boring, unemotional form of nutrition delivery that you get out of the way as early as possible. Just feels like the emotional needs of tots are being seen as unimportant or inconvenient. Bfing IS also about helping them feel loved and secure. I can't get my head around any train of thought that sees an expression of love or comfort for a child as negative in any way. Baffling.

givemeaclue · 04/12/2012 14:49

House!

What have I won?

Nipple warmers?

OxfordBags · 04/12/2012 14:51

PS Llareggub, your comment about your apple juice tits brought tears to my eyes, was so lovely Grin

gimmecakeandcandy · 04/12/2012 14:51

Donkey - why do you have such a huge chip about bf? And you are obviously very ignorant about extended bf so plod on and keep being the donkey ass you so obviously are.

EauRouge · 04/12/2012 14:53

Deservedly won, I hope your nipple warmers keep you toasty.

Is there a second prize? Can we keep playing? We've had "it's all about the mother" twice now, can someone please do the BF/urination comparison.

gimmecakeandcandy · 04/12/2012 14:54

Oxfordbags - it is sad isn't it that people trot out such crap but they obviously do it to ms,e themselves feel better - after all, if they don't do it they probably don't want to face the facts of how much extra goodness and nutrients a toddler is gaining from bf

gimmecakeandcandy · 04/12/2012 14:55

EauRouge - I have a bf bingo mug! .

bigbuttons · 04/12/2012 14:56

My last (of 6 dc's) self weaned aged 4. I Bf in public. You carry on .

bigbuttons · 04/12/2012 14:57

BTW he hates cow's milk. He doesn't drink any milk atall, even has dry breakfast cereal!

SirBoobAlot · 04/12/2012 14:58

It might be natural and everything, but you wouldn't take a piss in public, would you?

EauRouge · 04/12/2012 15:02

Yeeessss!! HOUSE!! Thank you SirBoobAlot! Grin

gimmecake- ooh, I might get one of those.

givemeaclue · 04/12/2012 15:03

Or have sex in public (...or would you...?)

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 04/12/2012 15:03

YANBU. Your toddler is small and no one else should comment on what you feed him.

5madthings · 04/12/2012 15:03

Has anybody told the op she should have gone and fed in the toilet yet?!

Likened it to having a shit or even sex?!

Have we got a full house yet?! Grin

SirBoobAlot · 04/12/2012 15:06

Oh I would have sex in public, because I breastfeed in public, so am obviously an exhibitionist.

OxfordBags · 04/12/2012 15:08

Don't forget - if you're Bfing a son, then you get "You'll turn him gay". Because everyone knows how much gay men loves women's breasts (before we even go into how scientifically ridiculous that is).

EauRouge · 04/12/2012 15:09

I would do both at the same time, whilst dancing on a table and singing a song because it's all about meeeee. I crave the attention.

snowtunesgirl · 04/12/2012 15:15

Can I throw in: BM is just as bad as giving a baby coke once they have teeth?

A Clare Byam-Cook special.

Grin
choceyes · 04/12/2012 15:17

like Bfing is just some boring, unemotional form of nutrition delivery that you get out of the way as early as possible.

All my NCT friends were like this. They couldn't wait for the magical 6 months, so that they didn't have to BF anymore. They were dropping breastfeeds in favour of bottle feeds in military precision, so that by 6 months exactly their babies were fully on formula. I was bemused by this at the time, the apparent ease in with BFing could be reduced like this. And I wasn't even BFing my baby (latch issues, ended up expressing for 10 months ironically). And now I'm still Bfing DD at 2.3yrs, it seems utterly bewildering the lengths to which they must have gone to get it over and done by 6 months. It's as if they hated every minute of BFing. Maybe they did, and I am just lucky that I don't hate it...at all.

aufaniae · 04/12/2012 15:19

givemeaclue the WHO guidelines apply to everyone.

The evidence is that the best thing to do for your baby is to feed them till 2yo if possible.

Of course there are many reasons people can't, but by far and away the biggest reason people in this country don't IMO is social pressure, and societal norms.

I'm curious, now you know the WHO guidelines are feeding till 2 for everyone, will you change your opinion and support it?

festivelyfocussed · 04/12/2012 15:20

OP you ANBU.
It's perfectly reasonable for an 18 month old to still have mummy milk. In fact, the WHO receommends that children should receive mother's milk for at least 2 years.
If ppl find it distasteful that's their problem really isn't it. I find many things that other ppl do are not to my taste but that's life isn't it. Good for you for still feeding your child in the optimal way.

nickelbabylyinginamanger · 04/12/2012 15:24

I love joining in really late into a thread.

and for once, I have read the entire thing.

so, for my part in the game:

The WHO recommends 2 years and beyond. Fully stop. That's a global recommendation to all women everywhere.

A human child who is old enough to ask is not too old for it. That's a pathetic thing to say. A person who can verbally state what they want is not too old for having the thing, they are just able to ask for it in a verbal manner
Otherwise, why the bloody hell did we evolve spoken communication?

There is nothing wrong with BFing any child (no matter how old) in public. Same as there is nothing wrong with me drinking a cup of tea in public or eating a scone in public. If you have problems with any person eating in public, then fine, but if it is reserved to BFing children only, then that is wrong.

DD has just broken a bowl of mine by throwing it onto the floor. She can't do that with my boobs.

DD has recently started to stick her hands down my top when she wants BFing. I don't know why, because I've always lifted my top to feed her!

Belmo · 04/12/2012 15:55

"They don't need it"
My dd is allergic to dairy and soya. I do try to stuff green veg into her but she's not a fan and I worry about her getting enough calcium. I really feel like she does need it, unless anybody has some amazing idea I've not thought of.

LittleDonkeyPloddingOnward · 04/12/2012 15:56

Donkey - why do you have such a huge chip about bf? And you are obviously very ignorant about extended bf so plod on and keep being the donkey ass you so obviously are.

Charming. Hmm Sign of nothing better to say and a lost debate when you have to resort to pathetic name-calling.
The forum is called 'am I being unseasonable.' People ARE allowed to have differing opinions to you, however much you may think your way is always right.