AIBU to think sexual bullying...

[BalthierBunansa]

should be addressed more in schools? I feel it is highly ignored when discussing bullying in school (or at least from my experience and I was in school not all that long ago) and is seen as not 'serious' or something that 'doesn't happen'. When I was in school I was groped and had vulgar sexual comments shouted at me and when I reported it, the school saw it as a 'isolated incidence' (when a lot o students were experiencing the same as me) and mostly ignored it. I would hate for that kind of attitude to prevail in secondary schools today.

Opinions like yours are exactly why rape convictions are so pitiful in this country. Any excuse to mitigate male violence.

I do also find the trend for girls and women to be dressed in a way that gets sexual attention all the time a bit worrying also, by the way. It's a weird one.

Really? You don't think it has anything to do with the constant messages that girls receive from being toddlers that being ugly is the worst thing possible for a girl. That if they aren't fuckable, then they have no value? I don't blame young girls for dressing that way. Being bullied for being ugly/ unfuckable is a horrible thing. Much easier to blend and hide.

WithTheDude I can totally understand why girls/women dress like that, I do it myself often enough. I don't blame anyone for dressing however, it's clearly a larger problem than on an individual level.

make all your young people more aware so that they don't dress like that or abuse each other. why not?
because only men and boys are 'bad'? so girls have no responsibility not to sexualise the environment?
those boys who are aroused by A but wouldn't dare say anything to her might well turn to B and call her names etc. and that has nothing to do with A. not her responsibility. she can look exactly as she likes and everyone else has to put up with it?

Young girls shouldn't have to feel that they should dress that way to aspire for sexual approval.

Equally, women should be allowed to dress they way they like without fearing for their safety.

Young girls are over sexualised younger and younger - you cannot blame the individuals for dressing the way they do when that is all they see in the media.

To "sexualise" the environment? What the actual fuck? How can you NOT see how much you are victim blaming?

Teenagers ARE sexual. They find each other sexually attractive. There is NOTHING wrong with that. They will find each other sexually attractive whether they are wearing stockings and a push-up bra or a burka.

Yes girls can dress how they want and yes people will just have to put up with that. I have NEVER felt the need to sexually bully someone because of how they are dressed. I have never shouted "slag" at someone, passed around films of someone having sex or smacked someone on the arse because they were wearing a short skirt.

And yet I often see women in skimpy clothing.

So clearly SOME people are able to resist these disgraceful comedy prostitutes. Which makes me think IT JUST MIGHT be the fault of some shitty scumbag men/boys and NOT women/girls.

it is down the the 'abuser' to control his or her own actions.

I love a man in a well fitted suit, but it would be wrong for me to make constant sexually advances to him.

Many women love the fireman/policeman sexual fantasty but it doesn't mean that firemen and police should change there uniform to stop women having these thoughts.

I doubt there's anyone on this thread who thinks girls should be taught that Back2Two .

Agreed McChristmasPants2012 .

See Back2Two I can have a conversation with a skimpily dressed woman without thinking about her tits. Which again makes me think it's the person who is salivating over the tits and not the tit-shower who is the problem.

There are girls who roll up the waistband of their school skirt as soon as they have left the house, even I did, short skirts were in fashion, but my parents would still have been horrified.

A glimpse of little girls knickers showing etc is not an invitation to sexual bullying, unwanted attention or whatever, nor should a girl growing secondary sexual characteristics sooner than her peers be an excuse for an adult or older child to behave inappropriately towards her, but I think that is not what lovebunny has picked up on.

This is not the same as the young girls who leave home in clothes that mimic the codes of dressing that are used by adult women to advertize sexual availability - forget the kneejerk response of 'I can wear whatever I want without being groped'! I am referring to an age inappropriate way of dressing that must almost definately condoned by their parents - or the child would not get out of the front door. Tight lycra and shirt buttons bursting open as a style of dressing does not fit into my view of how children should dress at school, it is inappropriate in that context, and inappropriate for a young child.

Some very young girls use dress codes and behaviours that are seen in our society as adult invitations to sexual interest by men. This may be a sign of 'grooming' and inappropriate relationships with adults outside school. Children, certainly those under 16, should not be using adult dress codes to make overt displays of their sexuality at school. We live in a hypersexualised culture and have become far too accepting of this trickling down into the social lives of children..

Send me a biscuite, I don't care. I do care that kids can grow up without being pressured into sexuallly charged environments they are not yet ready for.

Leaving aside the way girls dress .......

I think we do our boys a disservice if we don't teach them that it is not acceptable to touch girls and make lewd comments to them. They will find themselves in trouble, possibly even with the law, if we don't.

I think the problem is that we are conflating two issues here: sexual bullying and girls' clothing. It would be far easier if we just spoke about the original issue and started a new thread on how young girls dress.

Girls are still routinely sexually bullied by boys and male staff members.

Male teachers routinely bully female pupils - where? Because I've never come across staff/pupil sexual bullying.

And the only time a group of boys tried groping a female student, all 5 of them were perm excluded - which sent the right message out.

Clearly OP, you have been in the wrong sort of schools.

Don't ake flat statements implying all schools turn a blind eye, because they don't

I see what you're saying Back2Two , I think it becomes a very frustrating argument for me because it's so easy for people to fall into victim blaming.

A boy once put his hands up my skirt (about yr 8) and i slapped him I am so not a violent person and dont think ive ever hit anyone before or after that so was hugely out of character for me. The teacher saw (and heard) me slap him but didnt do anything because he must of knew if i'd done it it'd be for a good reason lol. No-one ever tried it again after that

Wow. It took all of half a page to go from " shouldnt sexual bullying be dealt with?" to "Well if these girls dress like prossies what do they expect?"

Girls have always hitched their skirts up. I did. I wore fishnets, the tiniest mini skirt and loads of make up! This was years and years ago.
What Esme said is right-teenagers are sexual. They are, in their own endearingly clumsy way experimenting with sexual attraction, flirting with each other, getting attention.
They have always done this.
The girls don't look sexy to me, they look daft, just like the boys look daft with their trousers half down their bum, showing their pants.
But at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what you wear, you have the right not to be sexually assaulted.
If you see a girl on the beach in a tiny bikini, do you have the right to grope her because she has it all "on show"?
No.
Just like a girl in a mini skirt has the right to wear it without "inviting" sexual assault.
Schools should have a strict appropriate dress policy for the simple fact that endless preening is distracting from learning, but you cant invite sexual assault. After all, 80 yr old women in carpet slippers get raped in their own homes. Are they being too provocative too?

IfNotNowThenWhen it's interesting, isn't it, that the boys with their trousers halfway down their arses are never accused of being overtly sexual or provocative?

FromEsme Yes, that's because girls are in no way sexual and would NEVER think about a boy in that way, so it's okay. However, a flash of a girls' ankle is enough to drive any boy to sexual harassment, it's not like they can help it

No sexual bullying by staff? So what was my Spanish teacher doing when he used to talk about my underwear in class? Which happened on more than one occasion when I was in year eight.
One time it was inspired by the fact that he had glimpsed my stripy pe kit, which was most definitely not a sexual item of clothing!
Dressing in an overly sexual manner at school? I'd say probably ninety five percent of the time I didn't.