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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my boss is a bitch?

32 replies

dawsonjunior · 30/11/2012 19:26

I work in retail. I used to work in quite a large store but they started to cut our hours down and offered to move me to a different store, therefore I would be back up to 40 hours.

I absolutely hate it here.

Today I did a refund. The lady had bought purchased £140 worth of clothes, she paid £100 cash and the rest by card. She wanted to return 2 tops (£80) so I thought the best way to refund her was by cash seeing as she'd paid £100. When my boss asked me if I'd done cash or card and I told her, she rolled her eyes and walked off.

Each time I serve a customer she butts in, even when they are handing money over, she barges over and says I'll handle it from here. Ok ... if she would rather work the till then fine but at least let me finish the transaction, surely it looks unprofessional.

I did another refund, and used the refund form. She stormed over and said I don't use them (they were used in the other store) and she then ripped it to pieces in front of me.

I asked her another question about stock, and she rolled her eyes at me, didn't say a word and walked away.

I'm so super sensitive. I wish I wasn't. But I am being overly sensitive here and should just ignore her?

Or is she just being a total bitch.

OP posts:
changeforthebetterforObama · 30/11/2012 19:29

She sounds like an utter bitch.

Is there any way of taking this up with HR? Can you keep a diary of the incidents - dates, what happened and where?

WineWineWineWineWineWine

HecatePropylaea · 30/11/2012 19:29

Did she think the refund woman was conning you? That's the only reason I can think of for her rolling eyes. Is there a difference to the company? cash, card, surely it's all the same so I can't see why it matters otherwise.

She sounds awful. Can you take her to one side and ask her if there's a problem?

And if she carries on, report it to someone higher up and ask for some sort of mediation or something?

Or ask for another transfer?

glentherednosedbattleostrich · 30/11/2012 19:30

I think you should have a chat with your area manager if you can, she is bullying you

Is there no way you can work between 2 stores to make your house up to 40?

Original poster
dawsonjunior · 30/11/2012 19:33

I've spoken to HR about it, because they were the ones who got me to move in the first place. They really didn't seem that bothered. I got told they would call me back - 4 days later and I'm still waiting for that call.

She is like that with pretty much everyone who works there too. So its not really like I'm being singled out. But today I really felt like I was about to start crying at work - how pathetic.

OP posts:
MammaTJ · 30/11/2012 19:38

I think she resents you because you were foisted upon her, not chosen by her. I was in a similar situation myself. I have nothing constructive to offer. I just kept my head down and put up with it, totally unlike me normally. She did leave in the end and I stayed for another two years.

NineteenForever · 30/11/2012 19:48

I really feel for you as I have been in a similar situation. Dont put up with it, it'll just make you miserable. The treatment you have had is totally unreasonable and is bullying. Call HR again and insist on an appointment to discuss it. Look up the grievance procedure and mention it or demand a copy. Make a note of dates, times (any sympathetic colleagues who witnessed this?) and emphasise how it makes you feel. Dont take any crap, this is your livelihood and you have the right not to feel this way. Take care.

maddening · 30/11/2012 19:54

You have 3 options - put up with it, fight your corner or move jobs - if you haven't the energy to fight it then see if there's chance of a swap or transfer to another store and keep an eye out for job adverts - I think that's the path of least resistanc.

Have an open mind and explore your options :-)

notsofrownieface · 30/11/2012 20:13

Is she the store manager or your supervisor? Is there another manager you can talk to?

This may seem funny, but are you good at your job? Is she threatened by you?

This is bullying behavior, if you get nowhere with hr contact the retail trust and get their advice.

To be honest she sounds like a shit manager, and from what you have said very very unprofessional. What do other staff say about her?

Sorry lots of questions. And you are not pathetic btw.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 30/11/2012 20:26

Not only is she bullying you, but her behaviour is highly unprofessional and customers WILL have picked up on it.

I used to work in retail management and honestly, 90% of the women I came across were utter bitches.

I had a manager who eye rolled too. Angry

Dont let this carry on. Can you speak to the manager at your previous store? Keep on at HR. Phone them back. Talk to your area manager. Keep escalating. If any of your colleagues feel the same ask them to back you up.

You would be surprised at how well these types come across to their own superiors. But it isnt acceptable at all. I wish I had stuck up for myself more in the past.

PortoDude · 30/11/2012 20:31

I would be quite upfront with her - say " Sorry, but you seem to be irritated by the way I handled x,y,z transaction - obviously I am unaware of how things are done here. I would REALLY appreciate 5 mins of your time, before opening, to understand how you would like things done." Stop the passive aggressive bollocks stone dead....

Loislane78 · 30/11/2012 21:07

Agree with porto which is an assertive (not aggressive) and professional way to handle the situation.

She sounds like a grumpy, mean, witch.

AgentZigzag · 30/11/2012 21:24

You're not pathetic!

And she sounds fucking awful!

The first thing that came to my mind reading the OP was that she thinks you're up your own arse because you used to work at the bigger shop. This is totally because of her own insecurities, and she's judging you to be looking down your nose at the way she does things, but there's no reason on earth that she's justified in making you feel like crap.

Even if someone else said it's a matter of interpretation and she doesn't mean to make you feel like that, or you've taken it the wrong way, the fact of the matter is that she is, and if she treated you with the respect and kindness you deserve you wouldn't feel like crap.

And so many instances shows it can't be your imagination.

Don't take any bollocks from head office, keep on at them. You're not being a pain or forcing them to deal with something that's none of their business. How their staff is being treated while being paid by them is everything to do with them.

Horrible situation Smile

PortoDude · 30/11/2012 21:42

In my (nearly 30 years - eeek) of work experience, I have learnt one thing - do it up front wherever possible.. Deal with the PERSON. Running to HR in most cases just make things awkward. There ARE cases of course where that is appropriate.....

PortoDude · 30/11/2012 21:47

If you look and act submissive, you will be treated as such. At the end of the day, even if you are not valuable to them as an employee, you are valuable as a human being, and deserve to be spoken to and dealt with in an appropriate manner. End of.

AgentZigzag · 30/11/2012 21:56

While I agree that the boss is probably the first person the OP might want to think about talking to about her attitude, it's totally understandable if she doesn't feel able to.

You saying she would be 'running to HR' just shows how these things carry on while people make themselves ill worrying about having to go in the next day/after the weekend.

She's not running to the teacher being a tell tale, as minimising the behaviour as a school spat between children suggests, because they're not at school (not that the behaviour would be acceptable at school either).

They're at work, and the OP has a right to be able to earn her crust without being subjected to demeaning, random power games by someone in authority.

AgentZigzag · 30/11/2012 21:57

Sorry, that was to Porto.

PortoDude · 30/11/2012 22:03

I know exactly what you mean ZigZag, but I DO think, in my experience, things generally work out much better when you take a deep breath and SPEAK to the person concerned in this sort of situation.

PortoDude · 30/11/2012 22:09

The school analogy is quite a good one - as people tend to react to the people in "authority" that way, especially when young, In the work place, you are not in school - you are paid to be there and have the right to have your roles and responsibilities laid out it detail., People seem to forget that they are not in school and run off to the loo in tears when their superior says anything unkind.

PortoDude · 30/11/2012 22:12

See my points above about taking a deep breath and being valuable as a human being. MN phrases like "Did you mean to come across as rude" or others like, "I am sorry you feel that way, what can we do sort this' are good in this situation.

ChippingInLovesAutumn · 30/11/2012 22:19

It's not you, it's her.

Try the standard MN 'Did you mean to be so rude?' or 'Who do you think you are talking to?'

Be more positive in your comments to her, instead of saying 'Erm, cash, is that OK' , say 'Cash of course'. When she says 'I'll finish here' say 'No, it's OK, I'f fine thank you, I'll complete this transaction :) and if you want a turn you can have one after'.

Just keep turning it around on her and show her you wont be bullied by her.

AgentZigzag · 30/11/2012 22:24

In an ideal world/situation Porto, everyone who encounters a twat boss will professionally and assertively put how the behaviour/remark made them feel, and the boss will realise what an arse they're being and buck up their ideas.

But in reality, a lot of people don't have the strength to calmly put their POV across in a situation that could have severe repercussions in their private lives (risk of losing wage/house/standard of living).

Being bullied at work can get out of proportion when you're in it. Looking in objectively from the outside, as we're doing, doesn't have the strong emotions attached which makes you think it's possible to deal with it in an effective way.

I'm sure if the OP runs through tackling the person as and when they're being a twat, she'll probably have a sneaky suspicion that it won't make a whole lot of difference and there's the risk it could get worse.

Not things which would give her the confidence she needs to deal with it herself (not saying you don't have the confidence though OP).

BluelightsAndSirens · 30/11/2012 22:36

How long have you worked at the new store, was your old store closed ie your position made redundant?

She does sound very controlling and unprofessional.

Longfufu · 30/11/2012 22:52

Hey, I have worked in retail for a long time, buying offices though not stores. Basically I have found it's a tough industry where people are allowed to treat more junior members of staff like utter shit...I really hate the whole blame game and "I'm better than you culture".

I think unfortunately the options are move on or put up. Your boss is just a sad cow and this is the only thing in her life that she has a tiny bit of power over. You should laugh at her.

SallyBeth · 01/12/2012 00:04

Unfortunately, female bosses tend to be a lot more unreasonable and bitchy than male bosses, particularly to other female employees. It's usually because they feel threatened more easily. Just keep doing a good job, and at least you'll know yourself that her attitude is unfounded.

ninah · 01/12/2012 00:10

Sally that's a sweeping generalisation! don't agree
Insecure bosses of either gender tend to be a nightmare to work for.