to think my boss is a bitch?

[dawsonjunior]

I work in retail. I used to work in quite a large store but they started to cut our hours down and offered to move me to a different store, therefore I would be back up to 40 hours.

I absolutely hate it here.

Today I did a refund. The lady had bought purchased £140 worth of clothes, she paid £100 cash and the rest by card. She wanted to return 2 tops (£80) so I thought the best way to refund her was by cash seeing as she'd paid £100. When my boss asked me if I'd done cash or card and I told her, she rolled her eyes and walked off.

Each time I serve a customer she butts in, even when they are handing money over, she barges over and says I'll handle it from here. Ok ... if she would rather work the till then fine but at least let me finish the transaction, surely it looks unprofessional.

I did another refund, and used the refund form. She stormed over and said I don't use them (they were used in the other store) and she then ripped it to pieces in front of me.

I asked her another question about stock, and she rolled her eyes at me, didn't say a word and walked away.

I'm so super sensitive. I wish I wasn't. But I am being overly sensitive here and should just ignore her?

Or is she just being a total bitch.

One of the reasons I left the other store was so that the people there could have my hours and it would bump them back up to 40. Also I was the last person there so it seemed more fair that I left.

One member of staff spoke to me about it because he saw how she had got to me and told me to completely ignore it and she's generally like that to new people.

I also know that her husband died, not sure how long ago and I'm not sure how but I think she gets lonely. Whenever she leaves the store to go home she will ring every hour to ask what stock we have sold.

The first time I answered the phone she actually congratulated me on being able to answer it, like I was some complete moron.

don't let it affect you, be unfallibly cheerful - disconcerting
watch the devil wears prada

I think you can't change other people, but you can change the way you react them. And I have BEEN there. I have been in tears at the way certain people have treated me. HR can't do anything about people's unpleasant personalities generally - unless they are doing something really, seriously wrong - HR involvement is more likely to make things worse.

This really is a case where OP needs to grow a "thicker skin" It is rarely personal - these types will be horrid to everyone. Head up, smile and "I am sorry you think that" really CAN work. It is simple Transactional Analysis stuff.

Sorry to hijack OP but Sally, what you said may be 'your experience' but that doesn't mean it is either true or helpful to the OP. My experience is the opposite but the truth is your sex has nothing to do with your ability to manage people.

OP you are in a tough situation and I sympathise. Keep a record of everything. While I think that PortoDude is right, someone who rips up things in front of customers is not really to be reasoned with. She sounds emotional and unprofessional. Retail usually has pretty flat structures - could you seek advice from someone else in management eg your old Supervisor? Assuming you got on with her.

Sorry Sally, you didn't say 'your experience' - I don't know why I thought you did!
Which makes what you did say even more indefensible.

dawsonjunior I really feel for you, I've been in the same situation with someone very similar to your new boss. I didn't realize how unhappy I was til my dc pointed out that I'd stopped smiling.
I was only contracting so I applied for the job I have now and am very glad I did as am very happy

I asked others in the office if I was imagining it, but they were as horrified as me. This woman had a reputation for it too, it was always 'someone' she picked on. I think it upset me as I'm a really confident person and had been really happy at the company prior to this. I think she resented me and the fact everyone else liked me.

DollyTwat, you are probably right. We did an interesting exercise at work once (my boss was doing an MBA) where we picked a difficult person and really thought about where they were coming from, what their worries and concerns were, what made them happy; what made them sad. It was quite illuminating actually and does give a good strategy for how to best deal with them.

Op says her boss's husband died, and she is being overly controlling. She could well have a point here. She is lonely (the boss) and can't control her grief and what is going on in her life so she takes it out where she can. There are loads of subtle ways OP can gain control, by being understanding....