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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who is in the wrong? Me or my friend

71 replies

bengal38 · 30/11/2012 18:00

My son has a best friend who he has known since he was 6 years old. Now that they are both at secondary school I had an arrangement with the mum of his best friend and another friend (who has a son who is close friends with my son as well) where on Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays Mum B would take the boys to school and bring them back and on Wednesdays and Thursdays I would take the boys to school and Mum A (sons best friends mum) would pick them up. Mum A also has 2 boys in my daughters school of which 1 is in the same class as my daughter. Last Saturday Mum A asked me if the boys could walk to school and come back home together. I said no as there are no buses that run there and back and also it would take them 30 mins there to walk and 30 mins to walk back. I also told her that I would be taking my son there myself and back. She told me that was fine. Then on Tuesday morning Mum B text me to say if I was taking my son to Mums As house as on Monday morning she waited for me to turn up and I made her late. I text her back to tell her that I did actually tell Mum A that I would be taking my son there myself. She then text me back after 15mins to tell me that Mum A told her that I never told her that I would be taking my son to school and picking him up and if I wanted to continue for Mum A to take him to school I had better let Mum A know or Mum A wouldn't be doing it for me no more. I am now really left upset because Mum A and Mum B are ignoring me when they see me at the school. I did try to say hello to them both but they both just ignored me. I invited Mum As 2 younger boys to my daughters birthday next weekend (before this had happened) and she said she would bring them. But should I confirm with her if she is bringing them or just wait and see? My husband thinks I shouldn't bother asking her as she probably wont see them but her son who is in my daughters class has said to her today that they will be coming.

OP posts:
HorraceTheOtter · 30/11/2012 19:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PickledInAPearTree · 30/11/2012 19:16

Mum a & mum b should just have a massive fight.

kenanddreary · 30/11/2012 19:18

Grin @ Dozer

Had one of these Wine now and feeling much more chilled. So my understanding is this:

Mums A, B and C shared lifts to school for their DC...Mum B (?) decided she didn't want to do it anymore and they could walk instead...Mum C didn't like this idea so gave her DS a lift instead without offering the others a lift and (drum roll) ....... all the other Mums are offended!!

How am I doing? Grin

Oh yeah - and something about a party too. Was this the one where they are sharing a party?! Confused

kenanddreary · 30/11/2012 19:19

Definitely pickled - a fight in the style of 'Harry Hill' Grin

TheOnlyPersonInTheRoom · 30/11/2012 19:25

This would get into Q Compendium's Tough Puzzles...

I've drawn a grid and EVERYTHING

JustFabulous · 30/11/2012 19:30

I read it all and understood.

The message wasn't passed on so the other mum was waiting for your son so was late. She could have texted to see where you were. Her fault she was late.

The other 2 mums sound about 3 ignoring you.

If you want to make amends do, otherwise I would leave them to it and sort out your own son yourself.

WRT the party, do and say nothing and see if they turn up.

mynewpassion · 30/11/2012 19:31

I think the OP is confusing herself as Mum A only does pick ups not drop offs so why should OP let Mum A know if she has made other arrangements for drop offs.

HecatePropylaea · 30/11/2012 19:33

Just do the school run yourself for your child and leave them to it.

Far easier.

mercibucket · 30/11/2012 19:36

Ok, I think I've got it

Some other mums were doing more pick up and drop offs than you (at least one of them was). They got a bit sick of it and decided the kids are old enough to walk together. So one of them asked you if you'd mind them walking. You don't want your son to walk, so said no thanks, I'll drive him there and back every day instead

So why didn't you do more pick up/drop offs earlier if you are able to now?

Why didn't you offer to take their kids with you if you were going to drive anyway, instead of making them walk?

Why didn't you check everyone knew what the new plan was?

diddl · 30/11/2012 19:39

Reading OP again, I would be assuming (I know, I know...), that the other boys were going to walk both ways every day from now on & that I either let mine walk with him or took/fetched him myself.

I´m not sure it would have occurred to me that I needed to tell either of the mums anything.

mynewpassion · 30/11/2012 19:45

The OP should have told Mum B, who does the M/T/F drop off and pick up, that she made new plans.

That is where she went wrong.

MammaTJ · 30/11/2012 19:51

30 mins to and from school, no big deal. YABU for thinking that it was!! No wonder they are cross with you.

chocolateistheenemy · 30/11/2012 20:04

Ooh... is this a reverse one and you're actually Mum A, OP?! [bconfused]

justanuthermanicmumsday · 30/11/2012 20:12

This is like mastermind lol I think it's a whole lot of hot air. Confront the mums it was a case of miscommunication, keep it short simple apologise, over. If they continue to ignore you, let them you move on.

If I were you don't ever offer to make such arrangements again, it wasn't a simple arrangement very confusing, and in such arrangements down the line one parent would let you down or you let them down, then you fall out. If your kids are friends then It just gets awkward.

Cahoootz · 30/11/2012 20:17

How awkward for the DC's Shock Will no one think of the children. Sad

diddl · 30/11/2012 20:18

"30 mins to and from school, no big deal. YABU for thinking that it was!! No wonder they are cross with you."

But if the other boys are walking together, then it doesn´t really matter that OPs son isn´t, does it?

I mean just because he isn´t, doesn´t mean that the others can´t, does it?

Only if one is ill, it leaves the other to walk alone.

bengal38 · 30/11/2012 20:29

The 2 other boys are not walking their mums still drop off/pick them up but I think they are doing this to spite me.

OP posts:
ChippingInLovesAutumn · 30/11/2012 20:58

66 messages between your original post and your next post and that's all you have to say? I cannot think why communication has been an issue.

diddl · 30/11/2012 21:06

"I cannot think why communication has been an issue."GrinGrin

"but I think they are doing this to spite me."Confused

What-they pretended that their kids would walk, knowing that you would say no-to exclude you from the school run rota??

HelloOutThere · 30/11/2012 21:26

:) Chipping!!

cumfy · 30/11/2012 21:51

So Mum A is the problem.
Try to speak to her.

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