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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who is in the wrong? Me or my friend

71 replies

bengal38 · 30/11/2012 18:00

My son has a best friend who he has known since he was 6 years old. Now that they are both at secondary school I had an arrangement with the mum of his best friend and another friend (who has a son who is close friends with my son as well) where on Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays Mum B would take the boys to school and bring them back and on Wednesdays and Thursdays I would take the boys to school and Mum A (sons best friends mum) would pick them up. Mum A also has 2 boys in my daughters school of which 1 is in the same class as my daughter. Last Saturday Mum A asked me if the boys could walk to school and come back home together. I said no as there are no buses that run there and back and also it would take them 30 mins there to walk and 30 mins to walk back. I also told her that I would be taking my son there myself and back. She told me that was fine. Then on Tuesday morning Mum B text me to say if I was taking my son to Mums As house as on Monday morning she waited for me to turn up and I made her late. I text her back to tell her that I did actually tell Mum A that I would be taking my son there myself. She then text me back after 15mins to tell me that Mum A told her that I never told her that I would be taking my son to school and picking him up and if I wanted to continue for Mum A to take him to school I had better let Mum A know or Mum A wouldn't be doing it for me no more. I am now really left upset because Mum A and Mum B are ignoring me when they see me at the school. I did try to say hello to them both but they both just ignored me. I invited Mum As 2 younger boys to my daughters birthday next weekend (before this had happened) and she said she would bring them. But should I confirm with her if she is bringing them or just wait and see? My husband thinks I shouldn't bother asking her as she probably wont see them but her son who is in my daughters class has said to her today that they will be coming.

OP posts:
JammyDodger1 · 30/11/2012 18:27

Out not our Shock

NotQuintAtAllOhNo · 30/11/2012 18:28

I still dont get it. It is incomprehensible.

mynewpassion · 30/11/2012 18:28

You are, imo.

You didn't tell Mum A that you were taking to your son to school on Monday because she doesn't have any arrangements with you on that day. She assumed you meant on Wednesday, your usual drop off day.

OldBagWantsNewBag · 30/11/2012 18:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kenanddreary · 30/11/2012 18:30

My head hurts...

Too much for a Friday night. Perhaps Wine will make it all much clearer...

diddl · 30/11/2012 18:30

Re the party-she´s said that they are coming-leave it at that.

If not too much trouble, have enough stuff for them but be prepared for them not to turn up?
(If she´s the sort to take her annoyance out on her/your kids.)

mynewpassion · 30/11/2012 18:30

You should have let Mum B know you made other plans for Monday.

Floggingmolly · 30/11/2012 18:30

Yabu to opt out of existing arrangements without making sure everybody affected is aware of what you're doing.

You are also unreasonable to be so involved in the travel arrangements of secondary aged children, but that's not what you asked.

PickledInAPearTree · 30/11/2012 18:30

Leave the bastard !

Mum A rules.

NotQuintAtAllOhNo · 30/11/2012 18:30

Stop sharing transport and only take your own child to and from school. Or let them walk. 30 minutes is not that long. I walked 45 minutes to school when I was in secondary.

Pancakeflipper · 30/11/2012 18:32

No Pickled. No no no. MumB rules.

kenanddreary · 30/11/2012 18:32

I'm bloomin' impressed with everyone who has been able to work this out Grin. You're a clever lot!

ChippingInLovesAutumn · 30/11/2012 18:35

On what planet can't a kid walk half an hour to school and half an hour home?

Why didn't you offer the others a lift if you were taking your son anyway?

Pancakeflipper · 30/11/2012 18:35

Another glass of wine Kenanddreary and you'll just invent your own version, add in Mum C, D and F and all will be well.

ChippingInLovesAutumn · 30/11/2012 18:36

Ken&dreary - I live for puzzles Grin

ChippingInLovesAutumn · 30/11/2012 18:36

Pancake - I was considering a mini bus myself [bgrin]

kenanddreary · 30/11/2012 18:42

That's where I'm going wrong then Chipping - I'm rubbish at crosswords!

Pancake - it's starting to make more sense now I can add in a few more Mums Grin. Now where can I fit in Mum Z...

EggNogRules · 30/11/2012 18:53

JammyDodger1 you beat me to it. Wink I couldn't leave it alone.

katiecubs · 30/11/2012 18:54

Don't really have a clue what you are on about but why not just call them and have a chat as it all just sounds like a big misunderstanding.

HorraceTheOtter · 30/11/2012 18:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChippingInLovesAutumn · 30/11/2012 19:00

K&D - On, not crosswords so much as logical/numerical puzzles. Probably should do more crosswords though

How about they cycle - that would add another dimension.

Pancakeflipper · 30/11/2012 19:03

Or get jet packs?

YesIamYourSisterInLaw · 30/11/2012 19:08

I think the op is so confusing as you said mum B does Mon,Wed and Friday but then said it was mum A who wanted the boys to walk there and back- if this was mum A it
1: wouldn't have been on a Monday as you said she does Tue,Thurs and
2: would have only been walking 1 way as you do the drop of on mum A's day's.
So i'm guessing you meant mum B was the one who couldn't make her usual Monday drop off and pick up?
Sorry if this is detailed i just want to be clear as i'm a bit unsure myself.

To be honest i think you are wrong and i can see why they are pissed off, mum B already gets a raw deal doing 6 runs a week while you and the other mum only do 2 each. She couldn't make it 1 time and rather than say "oh that's ok you do so much for me i'll take all the boys there and back this once" you only take your son and leave the other to walk. Hmm

YesIamYourSisterInLaw · 30/11/2012 19:11

Actually i just re-read and i think i still don't get it BUT i still think yabu for not taking them all, it was pretty selfish and mum B is definetely getting s raw deal

Dozer · 30/11/2012 19:11

It's like one of those school maths logic puzzles!