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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy one present between twins?

64 replies

Tailtwister · 29/11/2012 09:59

I'm struggling to think of decent presents with DS having had so many parties recently and we have one coming up for twins (a boy and a girl). I would like to get them something decent and usually have a budget for around £10. I've seen a magazine subscription (Okido) which looks really good and is £20 for the year (5 issues I think). You can get a voucher thing for it, so they could order it themselves and have it delivered to their address.

WIBU to give them a joint present like this? I would give separate cards of course.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tailtwister · 29/11/2012 10:00

Oh, they are turning 4 btw.

OP posts:
sixlostmonkeys · 29/11/2012 10:02

Would you give a joint a present if they weren't twins?

I think it would be best if they received a £5 present each. A present is about the thought not the cost etc. A joint present tells them you think of them as one.

Abbicob · 29/11/2012 10:03

I had to buy for twins and got a present each. At 4 would you like to share?

Whistlingwaves · 29/11/2012 10:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MonaLotte · 29/11/2012 10:06

I think 4 is a big young for a magazine subscription. They won't be able to read it. Only look at the pictures.
I wouldn't do a joint present either sorry.

Original poster
Tailtwister · 29/11/2012 10:06

The money isn't an issue monkeys, I'm more than happy to spend my usual amount on each of them. It's more giving them something they don't already have a million of. I could get jigsaws, books etc, but it's hard to know what they already have or not.

No, if they weren't twins I wouldn't give them a joint present. If they were children from 2 separate households that wouldn't really work would it?

OP posts:
SoMuchToBits · 29/11/2012 10:06

As a twin I would advise very strongly that you get them a present each. A less expensive present each is far better than a more expensive shared present.

It is very difficult to forge your own identity as a twin, and anything which "lumps you together" makes it harder. I really resented the fact that my older sister often had things to herself but my twin sis and I would be given something between us instead.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 29/11/2012 10:07

YABU - you need to get them a present each really, oh and a card each two. They are 2 seperate kids and at the age of 4 will not really grasp the concept f sharing a present, where is the fun in that?

Just half the cost of the tenner and get them something for a fiver each.

StuntGirl · 29/11/2012 10:07

Buy two £5 presents. Especially if your one present option is a magazine subscription, its not really ideal for sharing is it?

Jingleflobba · 29/11/2012 10:07

YABU, I know parents of 3 different sets of twins and they are adamant that the DC's are treated as separate people and not joined together. They would not be happy at a joint present at all.

BeatTheClock · 29/11/2012 10:08

I have b/g twins. I would suggest separate presents if at all possible, especially at this age.

It cuts both ways though. If both of mine are asked to the same party they each take a present and card.

WinterWinds · 29/11/2012 10:09

No i wouldn't, just because they are twins doesn't mean that they are not individuals so why treat them as one.

I'm sure you could find something half decent for them for your budget. I wouldnt buy a Magazine subscription for a 4 year olds birthday anyway, seems a bit naff.
I dont think kids of that age would really appreciate that it is a birthday present to be honest as there is no fun and anticipation of unwrapping something to see what they have inside.

StuntGirl · 29/11/2012 10:09

My brother and sister share a birthday, a couple of years apart. Just because they share the same birthday doesn't mean they should share presents!

Original poster
Tailtwister · 29/11/2012 10:10

OK, a present each it is and I was going to get separate cards anyway. Now for ideas...

OP posts:
rattling · 29/11/2012 10:11

I'd ask the parents - personally I'd be happy as my boys are pretty good at sharing magazines (though not much else). A magazine subscription isn't really an object that can be wrapped and handed to them - so a card each would be fine.

I do agree that you don't want to think of them as one, but they are the same age, with perhaps the same interests so a bigger present to share (on a day when they will get loads to open each anyway), seems okay to me.

Mrsjay · 29/11/2012 10:15

i know twins they are now older and they used to fight over joint present it was hers no it was hers, that sort of thing don't do it get them something each , you know your wouldnt get non twins brother/ sister a joint christmas present

Original poster
Tailtwister · 29/11/2012 10:15

I've tried asking parents before rattling and always get the 'they'll be happy with whatever they get' answer. I suppose I could try it again and see what comes back...

OP posts:
BovineUddersAkimbo · 29/11/2012 10:16

I have twins. Please get separate presents.

It doesn't matter how good they are at sharing, joint presents feel so thoughtless.

BeaWheesht · 29/11/2012 10:18

Why not get them a Hama beads set each? They can get the same thing each and it doesn't matter if they have some already because they'll get used up.

Original poster
Tailtwister · 29/11/2012 10:21

That's a good idea Bea. Would that seem unimaginative and thoughtless too though? Giving them both the same thing and not something different?

OP posts:
SpringHeeledJack · 29/11/2012 10:23

as a mum of twins can I give you a biiiig wet kiss for actually thinking about this?

twin present buying is fraught, I know

SweetMingePie · 29/11/2012 10:27

Glad you've changed your mind.

I don't have twins, but it was dc3s birthday party at the weekend and we had a set of twins there. They both gave DS a card and a present each, which I wasn't expecting as would have thought they'd have just given him one. Was lovely of them.

Jingleflobba · 29/11/2012 10:27

I've had the "they'll be happy with whatever" thing to - not helpful!
Ask what they're into, not what they want, that way you tend to get a better answer Grin

Original poster
Tailtwister · 29/11/2012 10:28

Thanks Spring. I am trying to be thoughtful and to do the right thing. The fact is that they're always going to compare gifts and it does make things tricky. I clearly need to put some more thought into it.

OP posts:
defineme · 29/11/2012 10:30

I have twins and I know lots of twins and I tend to go for different presents but along the same theme.
People with multiples are often more over run than most with houses bursting with stuff so I appreciate it can be difficult.
I like to go for practical stuff so I'll get them both a rucksack or funky gloves or pencil cases with colouring stuff.
Or I've got things that can be used outside like kites.
Hama beads-I'd get them same priced but different sets.