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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder about baby names...

60 replies

NoTeaForMe · 28/11/2012 19:44

So the people out there who say 'you don't own a name' and you can pick a name regardless of other peoples names and children's names, does this really include everyone? Would you happily name your child the same/very similar to your niece/nephew, best friends child, neighbour, acquaintance? Where is the line drawn? Would you be happy the other way round? If your sister used your child's name etc etc?

OP posts:
treaclesoda · 28/11/2012 19:46

I would draw the line at my sister because I think it would be strange for my parents to have two grandchildren of the same me. But other than that, I'm firmly in the 'you don't own a name' camp.

AntsMarching · 28/11/2012 19:47

My brother used the name I'd said I'd use for a daughter. I'd been saying it since I was 16, I was 27 when he used it. But I wasn't pregnant and I didn't own the name so while I was annoyed, I got over it.

When his second daughter was born he named her after me. Glad I didn't kick up a fuss about the name.

HairyGrotter · 28/11/2012 19:48

I'd think it odd if a family member decided to call their new arrival the same name as my child, but I don't 'own' it so it's up to them. My daughter would be significantly older so it would be obvious who was named it 'first' as it were, if that were a real issue.

I named my child after my favourite song, I know no other person by that name, and if it were to become popular, I can stake a claim that I was the one that bought that popularity to light ;)

NoTeaForMe · 28/11/2012 19:49

I'm so intrigued as to your daughters name now Hairy !

OP posts:
stookiesackhouse · 28/11/2012 19:51

See I am 35 and don't have DC and all my favourite names are being used by friends and family, so in my mind I will call my DC one of my favourite names and it's tough if someone else close to me has it too. I agree, names can't be owned.

BelleJolie · 28/11/2012 19:56

I draw the line at family (although having said that, DS's first name is his older cousin's middle name...but it is a family name so not surprising my brother and I wanted to use it. I certainly wouldn't have used the same first name).

Friends and acquaintances....fair game. Who knows whether you'll be in contact in a few years? I have a friend who has told me she is using the same name as DS and explained it was a family name for her too...and I don't at all mind. In fact, I feel slightly flattered about my obviously good taste Grin

thegreylady · 28/11/2012 19:58

I have two cousins called Margaret their birthdays were only a couple of months apart.The mum of one was the sister of the father of the other iyswim. It was never a problem.

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 28/11/2012 20:01

I wouldn't call my dc the same name as one of their cousins, but I would use a name they love if they weren`t ttc or even in a relationship.

I would (and am considering) uding the bame of a friends ds however there would be at least a ten year age gap and he literally the only other person Ive ever met called this.

EverlongLovesHerChristmasRobin · 28/11/2012 20:02

I wouldn't choose a name my sister/best friend had. A neighbour, maybe.

Would I care if they picked my name? Probably not. I'd think it was a bit odd tbh but I wouldn't really mind.

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 28/11/2012 20:02

Ooh Hairy - spill!

Eleanor Rigby
Roxanne
Nikita

hippoherostandinghere · 28/11/2012 20:04

My mum and her sister both used the same name for my brother and cousin. But it was my mums maiden name and that was the reason they used it. My oldest brother also has my granda's first name so if you put both my brothers names together you get my Granda's full name.

espanol · 28/11/2012 20:05

I actually think it completely depends on the name. If it was super-popular like James or Isabella then I don't think you can get upset as you don't own that name in any way - it's too common. But if you'd picked something more unusual like Guinevere or Hector, or used an unusual spelling of a common name (Jaymz?) and someone used it I think you'd have grounds for being miffed as it would be much more clearly copying you.

HairyGrotter · 28/11/2012 20:06

DD's name is drum roll Minerva, after the Deftones song. Helps it is an ancient name, she was a Roman Goddess, she has many attributes, and an overall wonderful lass.

AND Minerva Mcgonagall is awesome too ha

HairyGrotter · 28/11/2012 20:07

Ooops...should be drum roll...her name isn't Drum Roll Minerva, that would be insane

Theicingontop · 28/11/2012 20:07

We've decided on names for our next child already, and I made the mistake of telling one of my friends them. We're not even TTC yet, and now she's pregnant, and literally just told me the name she's picked if she has a girl. You guessed it.

She kinda just smiled and went, "well it's a nice name and you don't own it do you? Plus I'll spell it with an 'a' instead!" Wink

I know I don't own it, but it's a pretty unimaginative thing to do. I very much doubt she'd have chosen it if I'd kept my mouth shut. Envy

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 28/11/2012 20:10

Ooh I love Minerva!

HairyGrotter · 28/11/2012 20:13

I get a few raised eyebrows for my choice, but she suits it, and it was very popular in the Victorian era (my favourite era). The name ticked all the boxes, and when she was born it 'suited' her straight away.

It was either Minerva or Elvira (snort). I went with the right one Wink

MamaBear17 · 28/11/2012 20:13

I feel quite strongly that you can not own a name. However, SIL named her daughter the name we had for our DD before she was born and I was a bit upset at the time (not on purpose, we both happened to like the same name and didn't realise). We didnt say anything though - far too pleased with our little niece for the upset to last long. Plus, I love the name we did choose for DD. It suits her perfectly.

blackeyedsusan · 28/11/2012 20:16

I suppose the only occasion when you would use the same name as a sibling has used is if you are both shortening them to diffeent varients... eg beth and lizzy, say

but to go with the ssame name you call them would be weird!

Alisvolatpropiis · 28/11/2012 20:17

I think it's a bit odd to use the same name as your close friend/sibling has used for their child, but other than that,names are fair game really

NoCoolUsername · 28/11/2012 20:17

My DH, his cousin and his uncle all share the same name, DH sails it was always confusing when they were younger and at family events.

GypsyTart · 28/11/2012 20:17

My DF called one of my brothers to ask if it was ok that he wanted to also call the new baby boy he'd just had (with wife number two) his name ... step-mother liked the name a lot and my Dad was fairly happy to have two sons called the same thing. Mental. Brother said no and that was that!

BoyMeetsWorld · 28/11/2012 20:27

I'm debating calling DD exactly the same name as my sister, though slightly diff spelling. & not as a 'dedication' to her either - we don't really get on! :p

MyLastDuchess · 28/11/2012 20:34

GypsyTart that is just WRONG. What was he thinking?

bondigidum · 28/11/2012 20:49

I'm really awkward about it. I don't even want to call my kids a name i've heard someone have that isn't even in my life. So say my mum's friends kid or someone I used to have on facebook. I just don't like it. One of the main reasons is people always have to say 'oh so and so's son/daughter is called that' and for some reason that gets on my nerves. I'm really super picky though.

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