To wonder about baby names...

[NoTeaForMe]

So the people out there who say 'you don't own a name' and you can pick a name regardless of other peoples names and children's names, does this really include everyone? Would you happily name your child the same/very similar to your niece/nephew, best friends child, neighbour, acquaintance? Where is the line drawn? Would you be happy the other way round? If your sister used your child's name etc etc?

MyLastDuchess - He's got 8 kids, so far. Had clearly run out of inspiration. StepM was insane. Insensitive Bugger. I could go on ...
I'm thinking that so long as you're up-front and ask if the other person minds you borrowing 'their' name then it's ok. Of course if they say no then no it is but I'd ask first. I wouldn't mind someone using the names I gave my kids so long as that someone isn't my DF. He's got form.

I wouldn't use a name that is already used by a close family member or a close friend, but it wouldn't bother me if they used one of my children's names. I did actually use the name that a friend had on her list for a boy when we were both pregnant at the same time, but she found out she was having a girl (and had her before I had ds2), unfortunately it was both the first and middle name she had, but the first name had been on our list of possibilities with ds1 (which was before I knew her) and the middle name was after my grandad and my brother.
I have known it cause a huge family rift lasting 20 years plus when one cousin used the same Christian name as another cousin had used for her dd.

My sister lost her 'best friend' over the name of her dd. The 'friend' stopped talking to my sis as soon as she heard dn's name, even though said friend had not yet announced her very new pregnancy and had never mentioned liking the name particularly. She didn't even have the grace to explain to my sis why she had stopped talking to her, just stopped all contact, after being very close for about 5 years. Odd people.

Thanks, everyone! Really interesting to hear others opinions on this!

The weirdest, creepiest namings I've ever come across is by my ex-husband. I always told him what I would name my next boy and girl. Both names are unusual in the UK as they are foreign names (from where my family come from) and I particularly wanted them because they had been used abundantly throughout the generations of my family.

I found out years after we divorced that he had remarried and had a boy and a girl with his new wife. Their children had my names, despite there being no connection with my home country. I wasn't upset about it, more intrigued as to whether his new wife knew he'd suggested old family names from his ex's family .

I know of 2 families where half-siblings have the same name. In fact I 'know' one man who has at least 3 dd's with the same name, but by different women.

My best mate has just had a baby, dd3 and she asked if they could use my dd's middle name for their babies middle name. she actually asked if my dd would mind sharing.....I was inordinately proud and pleased. (ESP as best mate is very classy so it showed my dd's name was indeed fab!)

My daughter has the same name as one of my sisters. It's also the same as my aunt, great aunt, great-great aunt, cousin, second cousin, third cousin and my grandmother.

It's my favourite name and as I only had one shot at motherhood I wasn't going to let anyone talk me out of it. Good thing I had a girl

NoTeaForMe - Why did you ask the question?

I wouldn't use the same name as someone else close to me (mainly because I'd want my DC to have their own name).

Having said that, one thing I did find hard when we were TTC (took 2 years and some IVF) was that friends kept having children and using "my names". I had set up a short list for a boy and girl for when I did, eventually, conceive. I didn't tell anyone because I realised that it might sound a bit pitiful. Every month it felt like I had to cross off another name.

Good news is, we got our DS and gave him a fab name. Really suits him.

Only niggle is that after I sent the birth announcements out last year, I got a congratulations card from my ex boyfriends mum which said that he'd used exactly the same name for his DS six months before my DS was born. I don't keep in touch with the ex (usually just exchange Christmas cards with his parents) so I had no idea he'd called his son that. I was a bit pissed off about it at the time but I got over it.

Sorry, that became a bit of an essay! Cathartic though.

I believe you don't own a name....

But family members with the same name can really put the kibosh on a favourite.

I have a name I have loved for a long time - and one of DH's relatives is called it. Not in itself a problem, except he is an absolute shit and whenever his name is mentioned people groan. As any DS we had would have the same surname, therefore the same name I just couldn't bring myself to do it. The associations with that name in DHs family are just too much.

I wouldn't use a name that a friend or family member had said they loved; there are so many names out there I would find plenty that I like (although my DH has a thing about family names so I don't have much choice in matter!) although when I was pregnant I loved the name Ronnie for a girl, I was really gunning for it until my cousin showed me her diary from the year previously with that name in ( and the same middle name I would of picked...our Nans name) and I did whine "well, we could have the same......." luckily for family relations I had a boy, and he was named after my DH & DFIL.

My DD has an unusual name (not like funky unusual, just one that seems to of got forgotten in the old lady regeneration!) which is hyphernated (correct spelling???!!!) with my Mums middle name. My DD Godmother obviously told all her friends about the baby when she arrived and she was livid when one of them announced that she was planning on calling her unborn child that if it was a girl. My friend was spitting feathers! She had a boy so again, everyone was spared!!!

I know a name doesn't belong to anyone but I think simple manners play alot in this. Why would someone go out and deliberately hurt a friend or family member? My friend is going through this at the moment; her SIL has named the baby the name she had always said (her granddads name) she wanted. Usually, and in both of my tales there are back stories but always shows the person who "stole" the name as being really sneaky about it. And when it came to announcing the baby boys name, the whole family were really sheepish as they knew my friend would be upset. And I don't blame get at all. I think it's all rather rude!

My bitch of a SIL gave her DD the same name as my DD. Only my DD was born at 22 weeks and, obviously, didn't survive.

I think that's more than crossing a line

That is fucking disgusting!!!!!! What a vile thing to do.....I'm actually stunned.
I'm so sorry for your loss, and that you've had to put up with such insensitivity x

I have a mate who called her third DC the same name as her PiL's pet! The pet was there first and now they have to say or to distinguish them. Tis pretty daft - there are millions of names out there, and while I agree no-one owns a name, do try to be a bit more original!

Hairy my workplace is called the Minerva Centre

I think naming the same as my sister's children would be a bit much. However I would happily name my child after my siblings or cousins, and would give the same name as my cousins' children if I really liked it. Same as I would use a name friends had used too.

My pfb had a cousin with the same name. They were in the same year at the same school too, and everyone ended up calling them by their full name because only their middle names were different.
That said, they were cousins by marriage, my 2nd DH's nephew and my pfb had the same name, but we just got on with it and it only caused a potential problem once when we got both sets of exam results and school reports in the post. If we hadn't been related/known the other family it could have been tricky.
If I liked a name I wouldn't let anyone else's use of it put me off, but there are some names I could never like because I detest someone called it. For me it's Christine (sorry to all the lovely Christine's I am sure exist out there) as I have never met a nice one yet and two different ones made my life hell in school.

Hairy electric?

The boys name I wanted would have caused confusion with Dsiss DD so she vetoed it, I didn't mind and I had a DD anyway. Think Elijah/Eliza.

I think siblings it's odd, any further away than that is fine.

Gypsy I was just curious really, I see posts on here about other people using names that they like and everyone always says "you don't own a name" which I guess is true, but I wondered where the line was.

I'm pregnant at the moment and starting to talk about names, there's a crossover with a friend who's pregnant too and the implication was there that if she used it I couldn't...wondered what the thoughts on that would be. I wouldn't describe us as close friends, and if one of us moved we wouldn't make the effort to keep in touch, if that makes a difference

My sister and her sister-in-law both have similar names for their children, think Harry and Barry, though obviously not that! Everyone always says "why did SiL do that? I think she just chose a name she likes...I wouldn't have locked one so similar to a family name, but not sure its a huge issue!

Not sure my post makes sense...I'm tired and should be asleep, not on here!

I mentioned to my friend that I liked a specific name just before we both pregnant. She was desperate to use my fave name and she was actually due first. I said I was happy to share the name and we could both call our sons it.

Yup Softlysoftly

numbum what your SIL did is pretty disgusting, what on earth was she thinking?